Fluffspeak - A Primer
By Fey
Fluffies were designed to be friendly, happy, and absurdly cute (for some board director’s idea of ‘cute’). As a result, fluffykind uses a peculiar English dialect dubbed Fluffspeak.
The following rules and examples are intended to help content creators create ‘cutesy’, readable, and canon-consistent speech for their fluffies.
(For the sake of reducing clutter, I have forgone the convention of using quotation marks to denote quoted words and have instead employed underlining.)
PRIMARY FLUFFSPEAK
01: THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Replace each and every r and l with a w.
- (And replace each and every R and L with a W.)
- This is the primary fluffy lisp, the minimum requirement for qualifying as Fluffspeak.
- THE GOLDEN COROLLARY OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Do NOT add any extra ws or Ws beyond those added for THE GOLDEN RULE.
- FWUFFY NAMES
- 90% of all fluffy names contain at least one r or l in its human pronunciation. It is hilarious and adorable when a fluffy can’t even say its own name right.
02: THE PHYRITIC RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Be consistent! Whichever speech rules you use in a universe (which can be as small as an isolated story), apply those rules for all Fluffspeak in that verse.
- THE PHYRITIC RULE can be broken by particular, established cases: regional dialects, a fluffy of unusual intelligence, a fluffy taught words by a human or a wise mentor, etc. If you do something like that, then the speech patterns of each group/individual need to be kept consistent unless something happens to change them. (After which, be consistent again until…)
03: THE SILVER RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Your Fluffspeak needs to be fluidly comprehensible to the reader. (speech from drunk fluffies and the like excluded)
- If any words or sentences have been deformed beyond easy comprehension, lighten up on the deformations.
- ALWAYS reread your Fluffspeak, preferably both in your head and out loud (turn your voice up a few octaves for best results).
- This rule does NOT supersede THE GOLDEN RULE.
04: FLUFFIES DO NOT USE FIRST-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- I, me
- A fluffy will never use I or me to refer to itself. If a fluffy has a name, title, or descriptor (Emewawd, smawty, mummah, etc) the fluffy can use that in their place. A fluffy can always use fwuffy to refer to itself.
- In some canons, a named fluffy will always use fwuffy when lying.
05: FLUFFIES & OTHER FIRST-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- us, we; my, mine; our, ours
- It is greatly preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead use a name, title, or descriptor: fwuffy’s, smawty’s, Jewew’s, etc; fwuffies, hewd, famiwy, etc; fwuffies’, hewd’s, famiwy’s, etc.
06: FLUFFIES & THIRD-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- he, she, it; him, her; his, hers, its
- It is preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead replace them with a name, title, or descriptor: fwuffy, Daddeh, nice wady, bwuddah, etc; fwuffy’s, Daddeh’s, nice wady’s, bwuddah’s, etc.
- The above words can be used if replacing them clutters up a sentence too much.
07: FLUFFIES & SECOND-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- you; your
- Fluffies can use yu and yuw. They are just as likely to use a name, title, or descriptor, though.
- (I reason that the direct-address nature of you is simpler to grasp than third person pronouns [you always just means whomever the fluffy is talking to] and less abstract than first-person pronouns [a fluffy thinks of itself as a fluffy, not an ‘I’].)
~ Dis am yuw beddie / Dis am yu beddie / Dis am Wavenda’s beddie.
08: BEING VERBS
- is, am, are, etc; + will
- Fluffies frequently replace is or are with am.
~ We are sneaky. > Fwuffies am sneakie!
~ This baby is a great baby. > Dis babbeh am bestest babbeh. - Fluffies sometimes completely leave out is, are, am, will, etc.
~ We are sneaky. > Fwuffies sneakie!
~ This baby is a great baby. > Dis babbeh bestest babbeh.
~ I, Rex, will be the best fluffy ever. > Wex be bestest fwuffy evah!
09: ARTICLES
- a, an, the
- Fluffies sometimes leave out articles.
~ But I am not a toy. > But fwuffy nu am toy…
10: NOT TO BE
- When a fluffy is saying that subject Y is not thing/quality X; it usually takes the form of Y nu [is/am/transitive verb] X.
~ This is not spaghetti. > Dis nu am sketties!
~ [This] foal smells bad. > Babbeh nu smeww pwetty.
~ I am not a mother anymore. > Fwuffy nu am mummah nu mowe! Huuhuuhuu!
11: THE STANDARD FLUFFY DICTIONARY (AKA FLUFFYISMS)
- Fluffies have a built-in (or otherwise universal) set of words for things and concepts that are expected to be common to the fluffy experience. A baby is a babbeh, milk is miwkies, water is wawa, and so on. Fluffies can (by some canons) be taught other words for those common concepts, but these words are the default words a fluffy will use.
- A larger list is given at the end of this document.
12: LURK MORE!
- The best way to learn Fluffspeak is to read it. Go back and read some of the classic authors of the Booru.
- There are all kinds of little things that can be done with Fluffspeak: dropping words, smushing two small words into a single word, alternate cutesy spellings, etc. Some options are listed below, but there are still other things that can be done.
OPTIONAL THINGS
- THE SILVER RULE applies heavily here. Do not deform words beyond recognition.
- Many of the deformations here share similarities with various Fluffyisms; even if you don’t use a general application of a deformation, retain the forms of related Fluffyisms.
13: FROM THERE TO DEWE
- th*
- For small, common words that begin with th, Fluffspeak can replace the th with a d (also Th with D).
- As with other letter replacements, it is important to not deform a word beyond recognition. Ex, turning their into deiw doesn’t flow well.
~ the > da, de
~ this > dis
~ that > dat
~ they > dey
~ there > dewe
~ those > dose
~ these > dese
14: NUUUUUUUU!
- *o, others
- For small, common words that end in a long o or long u sound, that part of the word can be replaced with a u. This softens the word and makes it more suitable to the high-pitched voice of the fluffy or makes the word look more ‘cutesy’.
~ to > tu
~ no > nu
~ so > su
~ go > gu
~ do > du
~ you > yu
~ new > nyu
~ know > knu, kno, no
15: EH
- *y, others
- If a word with two or more syllables ends with a long e sound, that part of the word can be replaced with eh.
~ kitty > kitteh
~ baby > babbeh
~ funny > funneh
~ runny > wunneh
~ daddy > daddeh
16: AH
- *er
- If a word with two or more syllables ends with er, the er can be replaced with ah.
~ litter > wittah
~ other > udah (Applies multiple deformations. Very fancy)
~ thriller > thwiwwah
~ bother > bothah
~ monster > munstah
17: IE
- Some words get an ie slapped on to the end because of cutesy.
- Some words with this actually get sie to make the sounds fit; useful for words that end in a vowel sound.
- Plurals are then made by placing an s on the end, even for nouns that are usually irregular.
~ toy > toysie; toysies
~ hoof > hoofie; hoofies
~ block > bwockie; bwockies
~ grass > gwassie; gwassies
~ sheep > sheepie; sheepies
18: COMBOS
- Dependent on headcanon: fluffies understand the world through the limited concepts available to them, but these concepts fill few gaps in the wide and scary world. A fluffy may have to mash together two or more existing concepts to describe something. X plus Y = X-Y. This can either result in a simple word mash (a new thing that is both X & Y) or, as I prefer, an entirely new and independent concept (a new thing that IS an X-Y)
~ Maybe fluffies don’t naturally know what a car is. They do, however, know metaw (hard surface/material, can cause owwies) and munstah (scary, loud, mysterious). Combining the two gives them metaw-munstah, a mysterious and powerful entity that is the fearsome predator of the black-rockies places.
~ A cloud can be a sky-fwuffy.
~ A phone can be a tawkie-boxie.
~ A dumpster can be a nummies-boxie.
~ A forest can be a twee-pwace or a big-twee-pwace.
~ Acid might be meanie-buwnie-wawa, meanie-huwtie-wawa, huwtie-buwnie-wawa, or even meanie-huwtie-buwnie-wawa. - The concepts these describe do not have to be completely unfamiliar concepts. Niche or particularly specific items work too.
~ A strike with a hoof is a sowwy-hoofie.
~ Feces inside the litter box are gud-poopies.
19: CONTRACTIONS
- SILVER RULE; use sparingly
- Some very-common words can be reduced by a few letters to make them sound more cutesy.
~ or > o’
~ for > fo’
~ and > an’
~ *-ing > *-in’
~ away > 'way
20: SESQUIPEDALIANS
- You’ve got some options when it comes to fluffies speaking long words.
~ Speak them normally with the usual fluffy lisp: Sesquipedowians
~ Break them down into shorter bits and speak slowly: Ses-qui-ped-owi-ans
~ Either of the above two, but horribly mangle it by the end: Sesquipedocious, Ses-qui-pe-doc-ious
~ Have the fluffy stutter over it for a bit then switch to another word: Ses-qui-pef…quid-pee…biggest wowdsies!
DERPSPEAK
- Derped fluffies have a special kind of mental retardation. They commonly exhibit ‘derped’ eyes, non-sequitur thinking, and a particular brand of speech impediment.
- The speech impediment is more marble-mouthed than the usual fluffy voice. Some headcanon has it that derped fluffies can’t properly control their tongues.
21: DERB!
- In Derpspeak, some consonants of some words are replaced with bs. Some ls are allowed.
~ fwiend > fbwend
~ daddeh > dabbleh
~ babbeh > blabbeh
~ sketties > skebbies!
~ mummah > mubbah
~ nice mistah > nibe mibtuh
22: DERPDERP!
- Derped fluffies may sometimes remake simple words by doubling part of the word.
- Plurals are then made by adding an s to the end of the remade word.
~ bad > badbad
~ owwie > owow; owows
~ saddies > sadsads
~ nummie > numnum; numnums
23: LERKMOAR
- Derped fluffies can also variously screw up sentence structure, lose words, replace words with the wrong word, etc. Sometimes they completely replace a word in their internal ‘dictionary’.
- Derpspeak is wild and nuanced. Read stories with derped fluffies in them to learn their language. There are a lot of good ones, including a few great series.
- THE SILVER RULE applies unless incomprehensibility of the derped fluffy is intentional.
FLUFFTHINK
- Fluffthink is used for a fluffy’s internal thoughts and for the non-dialog narration of a story told from a fluffy’s point-of-view.
24: THE MERCURIC RULE OF FLUFFTHINK
- Do NOT follow THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK.
- If a fluffy isn’t vocalizing, don’t use those extra ws; the w thing is a lisp, and you don’t think with a lisp.
- Really. It is a headache to read lisped narration. I used it in my first story, and it was a mess. Even if you can read it fine, most of your audience can NOT.
25: THE OBSIDIAN RULE OF FLUFFTHINK
- DO use Fluffyisms.
- Fluffyisms are the terms fluffies think in. A block to a fluffy IS a blockie. (It then becomes bwockie when they speak and lisp it.)
26: SILVER AND GULD
- Other than the two stated rules, things are flexible.
- Fluffthink generally follows the primary Fluffspeak rules, but it doesn’t have to.
- Adherence to optional things used in Fluffspeak is even looser.
- THE PHYRITIC and SILVER RULES hold sway here: be consistent WITHIN your Fluffthink and make it readable.
27: VISUALIZE
- If you are drawing a pic and include a though-bubble with a small amount of Fluffthink, THE MERCURIC RULE can be ignored.
- However, you can also turn the thought-bubble into a speech-bubble; fluffies babble frequently, saying whatever is on their mind as though they lack an internal monologue. This behavior may vary on how carefree a fluffy’s life experiences have made it, though.
FLUFFYISMS
-
As explained earlier, fluffies have a set of universally-altered words. Some are altered to sound ‘cuter’, and some are changed to disguise topics like death and sex from the marketed child demographic (and sometimes from the child-like fluffies themselves).
-
This list is NOT comprehensive
-
This list is NOT absolute. It’s a good guide, but some listed Fluffyisms are more universal among headcanon than others.
-
Except for the ‘Very Special Words’, fluffies generally recognize and understand both the human and fluffy forms of a word. However, they still only use the fluffy form unless urged or taught otherwise. Varies by headcanon.
FLUFFIES (applicable to non-fluffies)
baby > babbeh, foaw
brother > bwuddah, bwuthah, others
father > daddeh
earth pony > eawthie, eawth fwuffie, fwuffy
enforcer, guard, soldier > toughie, toughie-fwiend
female, adult > mawe
female, child > fiwwy
fetus > tummeh-babbeh, soon-babbeh
leader > smawty, smawty-fwiend
male, adult > stawwion
male, child > cowt
mother > mummah, mumma
pegasus > wingie-fwiend, pegasus
pregnant mare > soon-mummah
sister > sissie, sistah, others
unicorn > pointy-fwiend, unicown
COMMON THINGS
bed > beddie
blocks > bwockies
box > boxie
clothes, fabric > not-fwuff
{crying} > huuhuuhuu!
day > bwight-time
food > nummies, nummehs
happiness > happies
house > housie
hug > huggie
human > hoomin, humin, by name if known, others
love > wuv
milk > miwkies
monster > munstah
moon > dawk-time-sky-baww
nest > nestie
night > dawk-time
owner, female > mummah
owner, male > daddeh
plushie, stuffed animal > stuffy-fwiend
sadness > saddies
sleep > sweepies
spaghetti > SKETTIES!!!
sun > sky-baww, bwight-sky-baww
tears > saddie-wawas
TV > teevee, teebee
unfamiliar human, female > [nice/meanie] wady, hoomin mawe, hoomin fiwwy
unfamiliar human, male > [nice/meanie] mistah, hoomin stawwion, hoomin cowt
water > wawa (am bad fo’ fwuffies!)
ANATOMY (non-sexual)
brain > thinkie-pwace
chest > chestie
ear > heaw-pwace, eawsie
eye > see-pwace, eyesie
hair > fwuff
hair on head > mane, head-fwuff
hand > not-hoofie
head > headie, thinkie-pwace
hoof > hoofie
leg > weggie
mouth > mouthie, moufie
tooth > toothie, toofie
nose > nosie, sniffy-pwace
stomach > tummy
VERY SPECIAL WORDS
anus > poopie-pwace
birth > biggest-poopies
blood > boo-boo-juice
mammary, fluffy > miwkie-pwace
mammary, human > miwkie-pwace, squishy-thing, soft-thing, others
death > fowevah-sweepies
feces > poopies
injury > huwtie, owwie
mate > speshuw-fwiend
orgasm > gud-feews
pain > owwies, huwties
penis > speshuw-pwace, no-no-stick, others
semen > speshuw-juice, no-no-juice, sticky juice, babbeh juice
sex > speshuw-huggies
testicles > speshuw-wumps, no-no-wumps
{coital grunting} > enf enf enf
urine > peepees
vagina > speshuw-pwace, no-no-pwace, others
vomit > sickie-wawas
OTHER WORDS
best, great > bestest
broken, retarded, deformed > dummeh
dumb, stupid, imbecilic > stoopid, stoopi, dummeh
eat > num
give > gif
good > gud
have > haf
how long until > how time tiww
mean > meanie
most > mostest
now > nao, naow
ugly, unappealing, unwanted, smells/looks like poop > poopie
want > wan
worst, very bad > wowstest
a thing that causes suffering, ostensibly for the purpose of evoking remorse
sowwy-[object]
~ sowwy-stick
~ sowwy-hoofie
~ sowwy-bwick
animal, not scary
[name/descriptor]-fwiend, [animal name]
~ meow-meow-fwiend
~ kitty-fwiend
~ fwuttah-fwiend
animal, scary!
[name/descriptor]-munstah, [animal name]
~ hissy-munstah
~ doggie-munstah
~ wingie-munstah
personified object
[name/descriptor]-fwiend, [name/descriptor]-munstah, mistah [name/descriptor]
~ computah-fwiend
~ vwoom-vwoom-munstah
~ mistah doow