A parent's predicament [Just_Bathrooms]

It was a calm and peaceful Saturday afternoon. A perfect day for William to sit outside his backyard and relax. He has a two year old baby boy named Michael. His only son. His rest was well deserved, as he was working and caring for his child. He loved him very much. Ever since his son was rushed to the ER to remove a ring he swallowed by accident, William had been overprotective of him. It was just him raising Michael alone, after all. Michael had learned to walk recently, so William let him out into the backyard to play with the slides and swing set that he spent all last summer making for Michael.

All of a sudden, William’s phone rang. He had to take the call. He picked up Michael and sat him down at the porch where he could see him. Then he answered the phone. It was work. The call went on for almost half an hour. William got bored with this call that he started pacing around his house, half focused on his baby. They finally wrapped up the call, and William was finally able to go back outside.

But as he went outside, he saw a bunch of shit smeared, multicolored pillows inching close to Michael. Here we go. Fucking fluffy ponies.

“Dummeh widdow hoomin! Dis am smawty wand! Weave nao o’ get sowwy poopies and sowwy hoofsies!”

Michael just cooed and giggled, not knowing how shitty (no pun intended) a smarty can be. The smarty took Michael’s laugh as an insult.

“Das it! Smawty gon’ gib widdow hoomin biggest owwies and sowwy poopies ebah!”

William rushed out the door, and ran to Michael as fast as he could. He quickly grabbed Michael before they tried to harm him. William got him out of danger and he received the brunt of the smarty’s sorry poopies.

“Dummeh hoomin! Nu take ‘way widdow hoomin! Smawty wan gib widdow hoomin biggest ouchies! An afta smawty dun gib widdow hoomin fowebah sweepies, smawty gon’ gib big hoomin sowwy poopies tu! Put hoomin downsies nao stoopi poopie hoomin!”

At this point, William was seething with rage. If a fluffy even lays a hoof on the hair of his baby’s head, he’ll make them regret even stepping foot on his property.

William kept his rage tempered so he can tend to Michael first. He’s crying. He coldly ignored the fluffy herd and took Michael inside to make sure he had no scratches or any sorry poopies on them. Thank God there wasn’t. William changed his dirty shirt. William then wiped Michael down and hugged him. Then, he brought Michael to the sweet elderly neighbor’s place down the street to look after him for a few hours.

When William finished taking care of Michael, He went back outside and located the smarty. It was easy since it’s the only fluffy shouting and prancing around being a jackass.

William was absolutely livid when he returns.

“Dummeh hoomin cum back? Dummeh hoomins scawed of smawty? Dat gud. Poopie scawdy widdow hoomin gon get fowebah sweepies su he am huu huu an wun way! Nao hoomin gib hewd sketties NAO! o’ get fowebah sweepies!”

William snapped. He didn’t mince words, he didn’t hesitate, he immediately marched right up to the smarty and callously kicked him onto his back.

“Owwie! Smawty nu scawed of hoomin! Hewd hewp smawty nao! Stoopi dummeh poop-”

William got on top of the smarty and just unloaded all of his rage on him.

He threw a hook, and the smarty’s stupid little proud face turned into a pitiful one. Lip quivering, sad, beady eyes, furrowed brow. One that’s about to cry and plead for him to stop.

“F-fwuffy sowwy nice mistuh… Nu wan be smawty. Pwease nu hewt fwuffy nu mo’. Hab biggest mouf ouchies…”

But William didn’t stop. He threw another one. And another. He kept going. Smarty’s teeth get knocked out.


William didn’t stop. He kept going. The smarty’s jaw is knocked off. Then his eyeball. William’s fists and face were painted with the smarty’s blood that splattered everywhere. His hands are red and swollen.

But he didn’t stop.

William kept wailing on the smarty until all that remained of his face was a red gush.

His sorry excuse of a herd could only watch and quake in fear as William turns their leader into a bloody paste. After the deed was done, William turned around slowly to look at them. They immediately tried to run away.


The dumb fucks forgot the way they came in. That’s unfortunate. William went into his shed. He took a sledgehammer in the shed and chased after every fluffy stumbling around with their stubby little feet. He walked up to them and bludgeoned every single adult fluffy.

He shattered their spines or bashed their brains in. Most were dead. The surviving ones were paralyzed and couldn’t move.

“Hu huu huu… Nu can move weggies! Nee weggies to wun an pway an gib huggies… Why hoomin hewt fwuffy? Fwuffy sowwy…”

A chorus of Hu huus filled the backyard. He gathered all of the herd’s foals and placed them right in front of their paralyzed mothers and fathers.

The foals’ begged their mother “Mummah sabe babbehs!” But they couldn’t. And even if they could move, they couldn’t make a difference. Why is that? It was time for a demonstration.

William decided to do awful things to the foals of the group before he decided to kill them. He ripped their limbs off. He fed them their own intestines. He jammed sticks up their shit smeared assholes and straddled them on it like they were hand puppets.



What a feeling. William relished in both the foals’ and parents’ pain. The parents laid there helplessly as William gleefully tortured their offspring.

Now they know what it feels like to be a parent fearing for their child’s safety. The only difference is, William can protect his child from danger. The fluffy parents cannot. They can only cry and beg to an uncaring and unforgiving force or entity for them to stop, and watch in total helplessness as their whole world literally shatters into pieces. That’s how effective fluffies are as mothers or fathers. Utterly fucking useless.

The parents relented.

“Babbehs nuu… Mummah/Daddeh sowwy babbehs… Am bad mummah/daddeh… Pwease mistuh, jus gib mummah/daddeh fowebah sweepies…”

They now know that they are bad parents for doing nothing. William didn’t even kill them. He tossed out the dead fluffies in a biowaste bin and brought the paralyzed mares to the nest that they came from. If they’re not dead in a few days, they’ll be an enfie pal to passing fluffy stallions and knocked up with babies they obviously can’t care for. William washed out the gunk and blood off his backyard, took a shower, and got Michael from the neighbors.

He had a good time. He watched The Price is Right with them until he fell asleep. After William picks him up, they watch Cocomelon on the TV until they both doze off.


He didn’t even bother to talk, knowing what he was there for and prioritizing the baby.

Really good.


Damn. Some serious parental vengeance there. Nicely done.

Love that username, too.


The grossest part of this tale is cocomelon.


A wholesome story but I have a feeling it wouldn’t end well if he let his son watch cocomelon…

The sledgehammer made me smile.


I hope you guys got my FNAF reference

Oh no, if there’s something that’s worse than fluffies it’s Cocomelon