Max had decided to take a walk in the woods. He’d been feeling incredibly depressed lately, it just seemed like there was always such little good news in the world. If it wasn’t some war or mass shooting, it was climate change, evil men getting away with their crimes because of their wealth, some natural disaster that killed thousands, the horrors never seemed to stop.
His fluffy pony, Badger, bless his little heart, had tried to cheer him up. It worked, Badger did a special dance that he liked to do, but it only worked for so long. Max decided he needed to take his medication, go to a place he enjoyed being, and be alone with his thoughts.
Badger, of course, had begged and pleaded to be taken along. “Wha Badgew nu awwowed to cum wit daddeh tu woodsies? Badgew wan cum reawwy bad!” He hopped around, the best that a fluffy could hop, around Max’s legs.
Max smiled and patted his striped head. “Sorry bud, you know you’re not allowed in the woods, even if I’m with you. It’s too dangerous for a fluffy like you. A meanie animal could come out at any moment and really hurt you and I wouldn’t want that.” He scratched Badger under his chin, making the fluffy giggle.
“Heheheheeheehee, stahp it daddeh, dat tickwes Badgew!” He rolled over on his side in a fit of laughter as Max got up and took his camera off the table.
“Now come on, into the safe room while I’m away.”
Badger looked up at Max with sad eyes, trying one last time to come along for the ride. “Pweaaaaase daddeh? Badgew be gud! Badgew pwomise! Jus wanna be wit daddeh an make him nut so saddies anymowe….” He pawed at Max’s leg pleadingly.
“Badger…” Max sighed. “I know you wanna come, but like I said, it’s TOO dangerous. Also….daddy just wants to be alone for a little while. He….needs to think about some things, understand?”
Scowling a little, Badger glared grumpily at the floor before letting out a small whine of annoyance. Despite being a overall well behaved and good fluffy, he still didn’t like to be told no. He hated when daddeh told him no!
“Come on Badger, don’t act spoiled. You’re not a spoiled bratty fluffy, are you?” Max questioned, his eyebrow raised.
Looking up at his owner, Badger’s features softened. “N-nu, Badgew a gud fwuffy. Nu bwatty. Wiww go tu safe woom….” He said disappointedly before slowly toddling off to his room. Max followed to lock him in.
“I know you wanna come buddy, but daddy needs to be alone. So just stay in here, play with your toys, and use the litterbox if you need to go poopies. I’ll be back soon enough. Love you, buddy.”
Upon hearing those words, Badger perked up. “Wub yoo tuu daddeh! Wiww be gud fwuffy whiwe gone!” He raised both of his front hooves in the air before tumbling down on his face, making the fluffy giggle.
Max smiled at him one last time before locking the safe room. “Good boy. See you in a bit.”
………………………
Unfortunately for Max, peace and quiet wasn’t what he got. Only about ten minutes during his trek in the woods behind his house, he heard the familiar babbling of, what else, fluffies.
He knew he should have just ignored them and moved on, but he also knew that it was somewhat uncommon to see fluffies out in the full blown woods. Sure, herds could absolutely survive in the wilderness, that was well documented, but most died out very very quickly due to their natural stupidity and typical feral arrogance. Fluffies were more suited to areas with decent human activity for the most part.
Crouching low to the ground, Max approached the sound of the bioengineered creatures. Peering through the bushes, he saw a family of fluffies. A male brown unicorn with black hair, a pegasus pink mare with orange hair, and three babies, all earthies. One red, one blue, and one green. Red was of average size, a little on the skinny side, but overall looking fit and healthy for a feral foal.
Blue and Green however, were enormously fat.
Max rolled his eyes. Typical bestest baby shit. While less common in fluffies then was usually thought, it was still an issue, especially with younger mares and stallions. If they breed too early the mares would usually develop “Bitch Mare Syndrome” while the males would just….well there really wasn’t a phrase for it but they just became assholes. Max suspected that these two had bred too early.
What puzzled him though was that there were two morbidly obese foals instead of just one. He had never heard of a family having more than one bestest baby before.
“Cum on babbehs, time fo nummies!” The brown unicorn announced proudly. Below him was a decently sized pile of berries, grass, and mushrooms, quickly scanning the pile, Max was surprised to see that none of it was poison. Maybe these guys knew what they were doing?
“Yaaaaaay nummies nummies nummies!!” The red foal cheered, doing a little dance before trotting over to dig in. Well, he would have if the pink pegasus hadn’t stopped him.
“Nu eat nummies yet, gud babbeh, bestest babbeh nee tu eat fiwst. Gwow big an stwong an bestest!” She said with a smile while the red foal frowned and began to sniffle.
“Bestest babbeh awways get nummies….neba weabe sum fo babbeh, huu huu huu……”
The obese green foal blew a raspberry at the red foal before puffing up his cheeks slightly. “Yuu stay way fwom bestest’s nummies! Bestest eat fiwst and gud babbeh get whatteba weft oba! Mummuh wite, nee gwow big an stwong tu wead hewd sumday. Dats why bestest eat mo.” And with that, the greedy foal dug in, loudly stuffing himself with the pile of food while his brother softly cried.
“Huuhuuhuuhuu, babbeh habe heawt huwties…”
The brown male stepped in. “Dun wowwy babbeh, wiww get nummies afta bestest am dun, fwuffy pwomise.” He then gave him an affectionate lick on the head.
Max felt a bit of relief, while they clearly spoiled the green baby rotten, atleast they still seemed to love and care for the red foal.
But what about blue there, was he also a bestest?
Max’s question was quickly answered as the fat foal unleashed a series of loud chirps and peeps, wriggling clumsily on the ground as it threw a sort of a panicked tantrum.
The mare waddled over the him. “Mummuh no fowget about sensitibe babbeh. Dwink awwwww da miwkies, gwow big an stwong fo mummuh.”
That explained it.
Sensitive babies were more or less heavily stunted and mentally challenged fluffies. They would always stay foal sized, never have their teeth come in, and never learn to talk. Sure, they could experience the joys of being a fluffy, but at a heavily reduced level. Mummuh’s would frequently spoil and pamper them far more than their other babies, for better or worse. This meant that they were usually HEAVILY fat from drinking far more milk then their siblings.
Max always felt sorry for sensitive babies. They usually only lived a year or two, even in captivity, and some mummuhs would somewhat understandably grow tired and weary over caring for a full time chirpy baby for the entirety of their short lives. Some folks saw that as typical fluffy selfishness, which it could be, but Max was more sympathetic. Its hard enough for a mummuh to raise a bunch of stupid foals, but to raise one that would be the stupidest forever? Trying to constantly keep them from killing themselves, even in a safe environment? That’s a tough job.
The blue sensitive baby slowly latched itself onto his mummuh’s tits, sucking away as she coo’d and cheered him on. “Gud babbeh dwink aww da miwkies. Gud babbeh gwow up big an stwong, gud babbeh gotta dwink aww da miwkies, gud babbeh den do da miwkie dance!” She slightly bobbed rhythmically back and forth as she sang the terrible song.
Halfway through the feeding, a loud rumble was heard from within the sensitive baby’s insides. Without skipping a beat, he violently shit and pissed all over the ground while still greedily drinking his mother’s milk.
“Aaaah! Babbeh maek smewwy poopies and pee pees! Nu smeww pwetty! Nu smeww pwetty!” The red foal screeched as a small amount of the poop landed on his coat. “Nuuuuuuuu! Poopie on fwuffy! Ewwwww!! Gib cleanies!!”
The mare looked down at the scene, a worried expression on her stupid pink face. “Ewwwwww, no smeww pwetty……sowwy babbeh, tu busy feedin sensitive babbeh, nu can cwean wight nao….”
“Fwuffy cwean yuu!” The brown male exclaimed, waddling over to his son and licking the poop off his fluff before quickly spitting it out. “Ewwww, nu taste gud……poopies bad nummies….”
“Tank yu, daddeh!” The red foal cheered.
Meanwhile, the fat green fucker had just finished his share of the nummie pile, looking quite bloated as he let out a disgusting burp. “Bestest babbeh fuww….nu kin eat nu mowe….dummeh babbeh’s tuwn tu eat nao….” He then waddled off to digest as his brother finally had a chance to happily dig in. Green didn’t leave much, but it was still enough to fill Red’s hungry belly.
“Nummies nummies nummies, fwuffy wub nummies!” The foal said happily.
Max was genuinely surprised. This herd had its issues, but they overall seemed to be a loving family. Part of him wanted to gather then up and maybe give them to a few friends of his or sell them online to some good homes. It would be a nice way to make some extra cash while giving these little guys the homes they deserved. Well, maybe not the bully bestest babbeh, but who knows, he could be weaned off that behavior eventually with a good owner.
Then something happened.
Mother Nature struck.
“Wha dis funneh gween munsta doin, watchu wookin at bestest babbeh fo?” Max looked over to see that the bestest babbeh was currently examining a Praying Mantis. God those things were cool. Max was about to intervene and tell the dummy not to get to close……but decided against it. Max usually let nature take its course in these situations. Badger was a special case.
The Mantis was bobbing back and forth, first slowly, but then quickly picking up speed. “Wha dummeh gweeny do dancie? Yuu siwwy, bestest kin dancie tuu, wike di-” Suddenly the mantis lashed out with a quick slash to the bestest baby’s face.
The foal blinked a few times before noticing the searing pain in his eye……and the fact that he couldn’t see out of it anymore.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE! BABBEH NU SEE BABBEH NU SEE! HEWP FWUFFY, WOWSTEST HUWTIES OWWWIIIIEEESSSSSSSSSS!! MUMMUH, DADDEH, HEWPPPPPPPP!!!”
He thrashed around on the ground, pawing at his face with his hooves in a desperate attempt to quell the pain, but to no avail. The brown male looked up first and quickly toddled over. “Bestest babbeh! Wha happun? Wha gib huwties?!” Then he saw the Mantis, still perched on the log, its head tilted to the side in observation. “Yuu huwt bestest babbeh? FWUFFY SMASH DUMB BUGGY, GIB FOEWBA SWEEPIES!!!”
He then charged forward, rearing up and slamming his hooves down on the log. At this point, both the red foal and his mummuh were looking over, having been alerted by the commotion.
“Specwial fwiend? Yuu get meanie munsta dat gib owwies to bestest babbeh?!” The pink mare called out, getting up so quickly that she knocked her pathetically fat sensitive baby on its useless back, covering him in his own shit and piss. He chirped and peeped loudly, freaking out.
The brown male turned around with a proud look on his face. “Daddeh gib wowwstest owwies to meanie buggy munsta. Sabe hewd!”
“Wook out daddeh! On youw head!” The red foal shouted out.
Glancing upwards, the unicorn saw that the Mantis had leaped on top of his horn, dodging his attack! Before he could react however, the insect unleashed a flurry of blows to the top of the fluffy’s head, causing him to scream in pain.
“OWWIE OWWIE OWWIE! MUNSTA ON FWUFFY’S HEAD! GET OFF GET OFFFFFF!” He shook and bucked and danced around, trying in vain to get the insect off his head and to stop hurting him.
The pink mare was about to go over and help, but found herself stuck between her three crying friends. Should she help her bestest baby, her sensitive baby, or her special friend?! The dumb animal rapidly looked back and forth between them before she got an idea. “Gud babbeh!” She called to the red foal. “Wook afta sensitibe babbeh, mummuh gon go hewp specwial fwiend and bestest!”
The red foal nodded as he dashed over to watch over his mentally challenged brother, who was currently pissing and shitting up a storm in utter fear at the noise, being on his back, and the fact that his mommy wasn’t holding him.
The mare trotted over to her mate, who was still getting his head and face slashed up by the mantis. “Taek dis, yuu dummeh munsta!” She reared up in the air and brought her hooves down towards the insect. “Gib sowwy hoofsies!”
However, the mantis dodged just in the nick of time, causing the mare to slam her special friend in the face with her hooves! With a sharp cry, he staggered backwards on his two feet, flailing is upper limbs in the air as he fell backwards.
Right on top of the bestest babbeh.
The foal was crushed instantly, his screams of pain ceasing in a split second.
‘BESTEST BABBEH!!! NUUUUUUUUUU!” His mummuh cried out as her mate rolled around on top of their best child, unaware of what his was doing.
Meanwhile, the mantis had landed right next to the wriggling sensitive baby. The useless creature’s screams for his mommy startled the mantis, and it lashed out with its sharp front claws once again, slicing open the fat foal’s forehead.
A torrent of shit SPEWED out of the foal’s anus, covering the red baby. “HUUUHUUUHUUUHUUU, NO SMEWW PWETTY!” He then looked at the little blue sack of lard and angrily started stomping on him. “AWWAYS TAKE MIWKIES FWOM BABBEH, NAO YUU MAEK NO SMEWW PWETTY POOPIES ON BABBEH! HATECHU HATECHU HATECHU HATECHU HUUUHUUUHUUHUUU!”
The red foal unleashed all of his anger and frustration and sadness on the sensitive baby, ignoring his cries of pain.
His pink mare mother was about to get up and break up the fight when the brown male managed to roll back onto his feet, furious with the mantis. He accidentally smacked into his mate, sending her stumbling towards the log.
Well, one of the pointy bits sticking out of the log.
The mare was impaled through the jaw, blood gushing down her front and onto the forest floor, her hysterical cries of agony muffled by the stick.
The brown male fluffy continued to charge at the mantis, sure he would get him this time! Only for the mantis to yet again leap out of the way. With no way to stop himself in time, the unicorn slammed into his red baby, sending him flying through the air with a “Aaaaaaaa! Hewp babbeh! No wike fwyin!!!”, until his flight was stopped by a landing on a rock, instantly breaking his neck and ending the foal’s life.
“BABBEH NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!” The unicorn howled, distraught that he had accidentally killed his child.
The blue sensitive baby was currently twitching slightly, covered in bruises, blood, piss, and feces. “Sensitibe babbeh! Huuu huu huu, no taek foweba sweepies! Daddeh maek tings bettah, daddeh pwomise! Wewe sepciwal fwiend? Mummuh wiww hewp tu….”
He then turned around to see his mate frantically wriggling in an attempt to escape her painful torment, gurgles and gasps bubbling from her throat. “SPECIWAL FWIEND! NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!” The unicorn ran over, his mind in a panic, doing so he saw his green bestest, crushed into the dirt, making him scream.
“W-wha happun…” He said softly. “W-w-w-w-wwha hewd aww foweba sweepies……is scawy dun wike dun wike!” He looked around madly, not knowing how to process all the bloody information. “Huuuhuuuuhuuuhuuuu, fwuffy nu wike diiiiissssss, fwuffy scawed, fwuffy wan mummuh huuuhuuuhuuuhuuu!”
The unicorn then saw the mantis, hanging on the side of a tree, watching him with unfeeling insectoid eyes.
“YUWW FAWT, DUMMEH BUGGY GIBE FOEBWA SWEEPIES TU FWUFFY’S HEWD! HATECHU HATECHU HATECHU!!!” He then charged at top speed, determined to finally kill the monster that had taken everything from him.
Doing so, however, he did not look where he was going, and slipped in some of his sensitive baby’s shit, causing him to trip and slide across the forest floor before slamming into the trunk of the tree, far below the mantis. He looked up at the bug and was about to scream at it when he heard a small breaking noise.
Which was the sound of the apple that had fallen from the tree……the one that landed directly on his forehead, bashing his fragile skull in.
“F-fwuffy….sowwy….wowstest fwuffy….wet down hewd….” Were the last words he mumbled before darkness took him.
Max’s jaw was on the floor. What the FUCK had he just witnessed?! A Praying Mantis single handedly killed an entire family of fluffies?! It was like something out of a story!
“Oh goddamnit!” Max yelled. “I should have been filming that!” He then sighed and began to walk away, not wanting to disturb nature by moving around the corpses of the idiotic family of fluffs. “Guess I take back what I thought about these guys knowing what they were doing….” He said as he marched back home.
……………………………………………………
While he didn’t clear his mind exactly, it did sorta put things slightly in perspective. Yeah, sometimes the world……really sucked. But at least he wasn’t a feral Fluffy. An animal that was….sorta useless in the wild. Humans, however, could learn from their mistakes. It took a while, but they DID learn. In fact, they WERE learning from their mistakes. It felt like for the first time, the world was really serious about fighting climate change and oppression and evil. Sometimes all you need is a little hope and a bit of work.
Max embraced Badger when he got home, hugging and kissing the little guy, and then started to make dinner for the both of them.
“Di daddeh feew bettah afta goin in da woodsies?” Badger questioned as he waited for his delicious kibble. “Daddeh happeh nao?”
Max smiled at him. “Yeah, daddy’s feeling better. Thanks for asking Badger.”
…………………………………………………………
Meanwhile back in the forest, the green bestest baby woke up. “W-whewe hewd……whewe mummuh…….WHA KIN BESTEST NUT MOVE WEGGIES HUUU HUUU HUUU!” The paralyzed and half blind foal cried. Then he heard a series of weak peeps and chirps. Glancing over, he saw his sensitive baby brother covered in ants, weakly wriggling on his fat back in a vain attempt to remove them.
Then he saw a familiar face in front of him, its mandibles open and its claws at the ready, getting closer and closer.
“P-pwease dun huwt bestest babbeh anymowe, mistuh gween buggy munsta……huuu huu huu huuuuuu….”
…
Had a BLAST writing this one.