Applejack lies (by recreationalsadist)

Sophie and her parents looked down at the poop on the floor.

Sophie’s fluffy Applejack (who looked just like Applejack from My Little Pony) looked away.

“Appwejack nu make bad poopies, nu no wai dewe am poopies dewe.”

Sophie turned to her parents.

“Applejack would never lie, so she must not have made bad poopies.”

Sophie’s mother shook her head.

“That’s the character Applejack from the show, fluffies can and will lie.”


Sophie father sighed.

“I’ll go get the sorry-stick.”

“NU! Nu wan sowwy-stick! Appwejack am gud fwuffy, nu du anyting wong!”

Applejack was then thrashed like someone trying to muscle in on a tentacle monster’s drug trade.

Except with less tentacle-violation and more getting her ass beat with a stick.


And shut in a sorrybox.


Sophie was upset.

“But in the show Applejack is all about honesty, why can’t real life be like cartoons?”

Her parents gently explained things.

“Your fluffy Applejack is lying to get out of trouble. You need critical thinking skills to determine truth from fiction or else your brain will turn into mush the moment you go on social media.”

“Is social media really that bad?”

“Yes. Absolutely. It was made for antisocial morons by antisocial morons.”


Later Sophie was passing by the sorrybox Applejack was imprisoned in when the fluffy called out.

“Pwease wet Appwejack out of sowwybox, Widdwe Mummah, am gud fwuffy.”

Sophie didn’t listen to her parents and let Applejack out.

Applejack hugged Sophie’s leg in thanks.

“Tank yu! Appwejack am tuu pwetty tu be in sowwybox. Dat am onwy fow poopie fwuffies.”

“Just be good, okay?”

“Otay, Appwejack pwomise!”

Sophie’s parents were not happy.

“You should have asked us first.”

“But she said-”

“Applejack was lying.”


Sophie was in trouble because of Applejack again.

“But she said it was spaghetti day!”

“Applejack lied to get spaghetti. And that’s why she’s in the sorrybox again.”

“Huuhuu, wai su meanie tu Appwejack? Nu du anyting wong!”

Applejack had finally been let out of the sorrybox.

She trotted up to Sophie and placed a knife in front of her.

“Use shawp sowwy-stick tu gibe Mummah and Daddeh fowebeh-sweepies. Den we be fwee!”

Sophie’s eyes narrowed.

“Mom and Dad were right, you are a liar!”

Augustus ‘Gus’ Kemper couldn’t believe his luck! A perfect Applejack breeding mare!

And all he’d had to do was promise to cut out her tongue and pillow her!

Luckily he had a fluffy vet on hand who was willing to do it cheap.

Doctor unlike Josef Mongola Ricky Guerra staggered into the surgery room reeking of alcohol.

He brandished an extra-painful hacksaw at a terrified Applejack.

“My girlfriend left me, so I’ll be taking that out on you. Sure I’m drunk as Hell, but I figure if I aim for center mass I’ll hit a leg eventually. As long as I don’t damage your breedability it’s fine.”

Ricky took another swig from the bottle of Abusehaus beer he was holding in his other hand.

“Now hold still, both of you. I covered this hacksaw in bullet ant venom so this is going to hurt.”

Applejack screamed as the Ricky swung his saw, only to somehow penetrate her anus instead.

Gus belongs to @BFM101 and so does Victoria who broke up with Ricky.


Gus: “In hindsight, asking the obviously drunk and heartbroken man to pillow the valuable mare might have been a bad choice.

I gotta tell Vinny that his sister is fucking with our work process now.”


Ricky: “She’s still viable. The stallion will just need to impregnate her through her eye socket.”

Gus: “That’s not how it works. There’s no connection between her uterus and eye socket.”

Ricky: “There is now. I’m not sure how though, I was very drunk.”


Applejack really is better off legless and as a fuck toy.

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I was expecting some kind of comment on why the child believed it was a lie ; my guess was the ‘freedom’ angle.

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As one does.

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As the Girl Scouts now regret trying to do.

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One should have thought young ladies these days would be more aware of tentaclular tribulations

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They’re strong independent young women that dont need no man~


Yeah I’m sure you’re beating them off with a stick, homie

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To be clear the “Girl Scouts” are a new drug gang as opposed to the “Girl Scouts” who are a youth organization.

They both sell Girl Scout cookies and earn badges though so there’s some confusion.


Better then them being an abduction ring, ie - literally people that scout girls.

Then based on how many boxes of Xyz type of cookies you are purchasing a certain number or quality of trafficked person.