AN: Again, a little break from my usual stories. Both a Bestest Mummah and a Bestest Sickies story. This is a AU where Lavender’s still very much alive (for half the story). Enjoy!
You are Lavender, and you’re the bestest mummah! Your bestest baby got a human mummah who gives her and you sketties every day! But, the thing is, you feel a bit sick. Nothing bad, right?
“Mummah, 'ou oh-tay? Wook sickies.” Princess asks, muffled by the sound of her eating her spaghetti.
“Feew wittle sickies, buh- Wha that? 'Ou heaw dat?” You pause, listening to the sound of a small voice talking.
“Es! Wha am dat?” Princess questioned, stopping eating to listen, as well.
“Hewwo, footuwe housie-fwiends! Namesie am Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks. Make wots of fwiends in housie-fwiends. 'Ou want be housie-fwiends tu?” Something asks, as you both look down to see it.
“Whewe am ‘ou? Wha’ am ‘housie-fwends’? Mummah, 'ou see nyew fwend?” Princess inquires, looking around the kitchen and looking under her bowl.
“Ou can no see Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks because am weawwy smaww. Am a… Wha it cawwed? Oh, am a viwus. Nyow, be housie-fwiends!” It responds.
“Wait, du ‘vi-wus-esses’ mak’ fwuffies sickies? Feew sickies.” You ask, sniffing slightly.
“Es, Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks fink. That wha mom-mee say, aneeways. So, be housie-fwiends nyow?” It questions.
“Nu! Am awweady sickies! Gonna mak’ feew eben wowsew!” You protests, walking out of the kitchen.
“Ou du kyow am wight hewe, on ‘ou wight nyow? Wan’ ou be housie-fwiend. Pwease be housie-fwiend befowe Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks gu fowevew night nights from ‘diss-en-fek-tint’ ow somefing.” It giggles, the giggling slowly getting closer to your mouth.
“Pwease open mouthie. Nee’ git in footuwe housie-fwend.” It orders.
“Nu! Nu wan sickies!” You cry out, as Princess tries holding your mouth closed.
“Girls, what’s this I hear? Are you being mean to mommy’s special helper?” Your human mummah fake-gasps, picking you both up by the fluff.
“Speshew-hewpew? Wike, speshew-fwend?” You question, visibly confused.
“No, no! Lavender, why don’t you go ahead and open your mouth for mommy’s special helper? Bad mothers deserve things like this.” Your mummah grins, forcing your mouth open.
“Ank 'ou, mom-mee fo nyew housie-fwend!” It replies to your mummah.
“Nuuuu-huuu-huuu!” Am awweady sickies! Nu wan be eben sickie-er! Am gud mummah! Am bestest mummah!" You sob, hooves over your face.
It took you a week, but you finally died a slow death, just like what bad fluffy mothers deserve.
You are Princess, and you have the worstest saddies! Your fluffy mummah just went forver sleepies!
“Huuu-huuuu! Mummah gu foweba-sweepies! Hay-te hoomin mummah! Hay-te 'ou, hay-te 'ou!” You weep, giving your human mummah sorry-hoofies as you cried.
“That’s not nice, Princess. Bad babies get bad sickies.” Your mummah warns, picking you up and laying you down on a weird thing. Why can’t your leggies move?
“Nu! Nu wan! Put bestest babbeh down nyow!” You demand, trying to kick your mummah.
“That’s not very nice, either. Now, FV-0446, what if I said I had a housie-friend here for you riiiiight now?” Your mummah says slowly and deliberately to the… thing, much to its percived excitement.
“Den Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks wan! Wan, wan, wan! Pwease gib housie-fwiend, not hab one in a few fowevews and stawting tu feew funnie.” It says out of pure desperation, starting to sound annoyed.
“See, both I and FV-0446 want you to have sickies, Princess. Now, hold still while I put it in your mouth.” Your mummah decides, holding a tube filled with a blueish-green liquid and smiling.
“Nu! Nu, nu!” You cry as the liquid is poured in your mouth.
Your name is Dr. Harriet Roseman, and you just killed one of your two adopted fluffies, but at least you made someone happy.
“This is Day 10 of my spoiled fluffy tests, everyone! Lavender’s gone, and Princess is next. And, here’s how I did it.” You start, turning on a small camera and facing it towards you.
“First, we had to get FV-0446 involved, somehow. I left it out it’s tube on a empty glass plate with a lid for a few days without a “housie-friend”. Sometimes, it would cry at night about “going forever night nights if it doesn’t find a housie-friend” and “want housie-friend”. You guys should have heard it! At some point, I was scared that I was gonna get infected myself because it was that desperate for a “housie-friend”, so I had to get it to go into the kitchen while Lavender and Princess were in there.” You continue, showing a notepad of the notes you took during that time.
“Second, walk in at the perfect time to call out Lavender to “being mean” to FV-0446, then force her to let it inside of her. She sobbed every day until she went “forever-sleepies”! She was a shit mother who let her “bestest baby” get pregnant at 1 month old. She deserved it.” You laugh, looking at the box you put Lavender in for future testing.
“Third, do the same thing to Princess. But, with some changes. Me and FV-0446 decided that she needed to get “sickies”. I said she did becuase I need to watch that shit baby suffer, and FV-0446 said she did because it wanted- no, needed a “housie-friend” to live. It can’t survive more than 5 days outside a fluffy or its tube, so I kept it outside for about 4 days, and a few hours just for that near-inactivation experience.” You say, looking around at Princess, laying down on her bed.
“That’s all, everyone! See you next time on The Fluffy Researcher’s Web Guide!” You finish, turning the camera off and starting to upload the video.
You are Princess, and you feel… fine.
“Hoomin mummah so meanie! Hay-te hew!” You whisper to yourself, careful to not let her hear you.
“Kaff! Kaff! Oh, nu…”