You are Lavender! You’re a soon mummah, and you’re the bestest soon mummah ever! You’re such a good soon mummah, you have to keep all the other mummahs in line! You really are saving all those babbehs’s lives, because what would they do without you?
“Nu! Nu num skagetties, they onwy fow bestest soon-mummah! Dummeh poopie fwuffy!” You yell, moving the box of spagetti towards yourself.
“Buh-buh Tuwip hab tummie-huwties, and nee’ num somefing or Tuwip gu foweba sweepies. Tuwip nu wan’ gu foweba sweepies! Tuwip have babbehs!” Tulip begged, trying to reach the styrofoam box containing the sacred meal.
“Tuwip am ugwy poopie fwuffy! Poopie fwuffies nu desewbe skagetties! Get sowwy-hoofies!” You warn, before crushing Tulip’s front legs and one of her back legs.
“BIGGESH HUWTIES! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Tulip screeched, attempting to run away or even move one step.
“Wavendew tummie-babbehs nee’ extwa miwkies to gwow up big an’ stwong, and Wavendew hab idea.” You say, shoving Tulip into your cardboard box home and biting off her last leg.
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HUWTIES!” Tulip screamed, making scardie-poopies all over the floor of the box.
“Teww Wavendew, is 'ou babbehs awweady chiwpies or tawkies?” You ask, hitting Tulip in the face to get her to shut up.
“Es, Tuwip hab twee chiwpies. They nee’ Tuwip! Pwease gib back weggies! Nee’ them to wun an pway!” Tulip begged.
“Nu! 'Ou nyew jawb is gib miwkies to Wavendew babbehs when they come!” You shout, causing Tulip to make more scardie-poopies in the box.
“Ugh! 'Ou make scardie-poopies wike a wittle babbeh! 'Ou nyew namesie is Dummeh Big Babbeh! Nyow, num poopies up! Nu stop until they all bye bye!” You yell, shoving Tulip’s head down to eat the poopies.
“Nu wan’ nyew namesie! Buh, what happen when ‘ou babbehs am tuu big fow miwkies? Du Tu- Mean, Dummeh Big Babbeh get tu be bac’ with speshew frend?” Tulip asked hopefully, her eyes lighting up at your potential answer.
“Nu! When they am tuu big, 'ou go foweba sweepies!” You answer, giggling as she started to cry.
“Huu-huuu! Pwease, nu kiww Dummeh Big Babbeh! Pwease!” Tulip sobbed loudly, earning a hoof to the face by you.
“Speshew fwend, help Wavendew with somefing. Gib her enfies so babbehs hab extwa miwkies for wate-err! Wavender su smawtie!” You squeal, rolling Tulip over to expose her special place.
“Nu! Nu wan! Pwease!” Tulip screamed, desperately trying to move.
You watch as the act is done, ending in a “GUD FEEWS” and your special friend giving you lickie-kissies on your face.
“Huu-huuuu! Wai? Wai gib Dummeh Big Babbeh bad-speshew-huggies?” Tulip cried softly.
You are Tulip, and you have the biggest saddies you ever had, ever.
“Weggies gone, gonna go foweba-sweepies one bwight-time, fwuffy gib bad-special-huggies, wan sweep and nu wakies!” You cry out, thinking things couldn’t get any worse.
You didn’t know what Lavender had planned for you and her babbehs at the time, of course.