What are Bestest Sickie Friends?
Bestest Sickie Friends, as stated in the Bestest Sickie Friends one-off, are ‘bioengineered viruses who’s only purpose in life is to love you unconditionally!’ In my headcanon, Bestest Sickie Friends (or the idea of one) came out officially in 2045. Bestest Sickie Friends come in all colors, some colors being better than others.
Bestest Sickie Friends and Fluffies
Bestest Sickie Friends are meant to be fluffy bioweapons released by Hasbio to make more money off dying, sick fluffies so that people buy new fluffies. Bestest Sickie Friends can, and once reaching ‘viral maturity’, will reproduce inside a fluffy, causing the fluffy to explode once the psuedo-pregnancy is due. Fluffies are innately scared of Bestest Sickie Friends, even ostracizing them in some cases due to giving them ‘bad moufie huggies’.
Diet and Care
Bestest Sickie Friends will eat anything that comes out a fluffy, including vomit. They can eat normal food, but this results in ‘inside-huwties’ where the Bestest Sickie Friend will be disgustingly bloated for up to 2 days. Every Bestest Sickie Friends’ favorite food appears to be Fluffy miscarried foals, and they refer to these as ‘nummie bay-bees’. Bestest Sickie Friends can live indefinitely if not killed by outside sources (e.g. cleaning products), so caring for one is going to be a bit challenging. The minimum of things to help with caring for a Bestest Sickie Friend include heavily watered down disinfectant, any small soft area to use as a bed, and a fluffy for waste products and replication purposes.
Life Cycle
‘Squeaky Babies’: Small (3-4 centimeters in diameter), non-verbal Bestest Sickie Friends. Squeaky Babies need almost constant care to grow up, including cleaning, feeding and almost half of their day is spent in the ‘wong sweepies’ state (this will be discussed later).
‘Talkie-Walkie Babies’: Smallish (6-10 cm in diameter), verbal, walking Bestest Sickie Friends. Talkie-Walkie Babies need less care to grow up, and about 4 hours is spent in the ‘wong sweepies’ state.
‘Big Babies/Big Kids’: Medium-sized (1 inch to 3 inches in diameter), verbal, walking, Bestest Sickie Friends. Big Kids are on the path to ‘viral maturity’ or also referred to as ‘gwow up tiem’. Big Kids will ask you for replication-huggies (discussed later), and a housie-friend (name for Sickie-Friend infected fluffies) almost continuously.
‘Adults’: Medium-sized (4 inches to 6 inches in diameter), verbal, walking Bestest Sickie Friends. Adults have reached ‘viral maturity’ or also referred to as ‘aww gwown upsies’. Adults are still dependent on you, and spend almost none of their time in the ‘wong sweepies’ state.
Long Sleepies and The Care of your Bestest Sickie Friend
Long Sleepies is where a Bestest Sickie Friend will go latent for a undefined amount of time. This can be brought on by extreme temperature, fast change in its surroundings, abuse, shock, and other causes. During the ‘long sleepies’, Bestest Sickie Friends are able to feel pain, but will not react. Their eyes will be closed, and they will go limp.
What’s “replication-huggies” and why does my Bestest Sickie Friend want it so bad?"
“Replication-huggies” is when a Bestest Sickie Friend finds a fluffy, lodges itself into the fluffy’s mouth, injects its genetic material into the fluffy’s stomach and will come out of the fluffy. This causes a pseudo-pregnancy in fluffies that lasts about 1-2 weeks and end with the fluffy swelling up and exploding. Fluffies don’t get rid of the baby Bestest Sickie Friends because they release chemicals very early on that cause the fluffy to think it’s actually carrying tummy-babies. In short, Bestest Sickie Friends want ‘wepwication-huggies su can hab bay-bees’!
Conditions and Syndromes in Bestest Sickie Friends
Bestest Syndrome: Condition where a Bestest Sickie Friend will think very highly of itself and put down others for being ‘dum-mees’. This is like Smarty Syndrome, except it’s able to be cured.
Replication-Incompentence: Also known as ‘nu hab bay-bees sickies’, replication-incompentence can happen for a array of reasons. Bestest Sickie Friends with this condition will become very depressed.
Depression: Also known as ‘wowstest saddies’, this can happen for many different reasons. In severe or prolonged cases, this will lead to the ‘wan gu fowevew night-nights’ loop.
*This is not a complete list. See your local Fluff-Mart for a list of more conditions.
Entertainment
Bestest Sickie Friends require being entertained by something, whether it be a toy or a TV. The sure-fire way to keep your Bestest Sickie Friend entertained is Sickie-Friend TV which includes shows like ‘The Disinfectant Monster’ and ‘FV-1234 Goes in the Garden’. Some problem shows you might need to block are ‘Sickie-Babies’, ‘Give Replication-Huggies’, and ‘Nummie Baby Adventures’. (Trust me, definitely block Nummie Baby Adventures.)
Bestest Sickie Friends and You
If you’re scared about FV-Bunch-Of-Numbers getting you sick, just show it ‘Don’t Get Mommy or Daddy Sick!’ on Sickie-Friend TV. Bestest Sickie Friends are playful with people, yet scared of them because you’re much bigger than them. Bestest Sickie Friends will try to compete with children and pets for being the favorite in the house. If this happens, just calmly say that you love everyone in your house equally, and that it can’t be replaced. (Or spray it with the disinfectant. Your choice.)