You are a fluffy, and your special friend just blew up in your arms! You’re so scared! That meanie lady must have done it!
“Fwuffies, we nee’ a pwan. Meanie wady who wive in big hoomin housie by hewe mak’ speshew-fwend gu boom! Nu wan gu boom tuu!” You shout-whisper, leaning into the group of 6 fluffies you collected.
“Wha we du?” One of the fluffies ask, also leaning in closer to whisper.
“We gib hew wowstest sowwy-poopies and sowwy-hoofies!” You decide, clapping your hooves together.
“Oh-tay! We wait untiw she cum housie?” Another fluffy asks.
“Es! Wet’s du it!” You agree excitedly.
You are FV-0446, and you don’t like this at all. Your mommy promised you new babies, but now they’re giving you pokie hurties and putting your… something in a big computer scanner.
“We’re done with the genome sequencing and the extractions, we just need to make all of that into a mini FV-0446 or two for you to research.” Someone said to your mommy, looking down at your tube as well.
“Alright, when will it be done?” Your mommy asks, picking up your tube and looking in it.
“In about a few days, then you can start researching its ‘babies’. As for FV-0446, we’ll need to do some more ‘pokie-hurties’ on it. We could make it a candidate for viral hybridization, since I bet you wouldn’t wanna waste such good fluffy-killing potential.” They say, also looking in your tube.
“Wha am viwaw hybwidization? Nu sound pwetty. Aneeways, pwease nu mowe pokie-huwties, make Eff-vee-zewo-fouw-fouw-siks feew bad an’ aww emp-tee inside sewf.” You plead, swishing the liquid in your tube around, trying to mimic what you saw some of your smaller housie-friends do for “milkies”.
You are Dr. Harriet Roseman, and you just got home. Everything seems fine, until…
“Git sowwy poopies, meanie wady!” A fluffy shouts, shitting all over your face and clothes.
“Wowstest sowwy-hoofies!” Another one says, slamming its hooves into your leg. Not like you really felt it, anyways.
“You shitrats! Now my clothes are ruined, and the worst part? You brought a sick fluffy over here to shit on me! You all are gonna pay for this, but first? Sketti.” You smirk, cutting open one of the fluffies and putting its intestines into a pot, cutting its legs off as meatballs, and adding tomato sauce.
“Eat it! Since you want to “play” with me so much, we’re gonna play.” You say, forcing a fluffy’s face in the pot and smearing the sauce on its face.
“We’re gonna have so much fun, and I won’t stop until every fluffy in my backyard takes the forever sleepies.” You laugh.