While walking through the park, there were small but audible chirps of distress coming from the nearby bushes. Going over to investigate the sounds, out pops out a small fluffy foal.
a teal unicorn babbeh.
looks like it had been abandoned or got itself lost.
whatever the case is, it’s not going to last long out here.
it notices you before trotting it’s way over.
"Nyu daddeh? Nyu mammah?
Take babbeh!
Am gud babbeh!
Pwease! "
It asked you with desperation in it’s voice.
What should you do?
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Buy him a Happy Meal, take the toy, and gleefully play with it in front of him
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kick it because calling yourself guud babbeh is arrogant af
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Help it up and carry its disoriented body to my place
Let it sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch
Deal with its freak out when it wakes up
Ask it if it’s ok
“You don’t have to tell me what happened but you do have to eat this.” As I hand it a bowl of eggs.
Ask if it needs a ride home.
Tell it to take care
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a bowl of eggs in this economy???
I’d bring it to a reputable shelter
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Ask what make them a ‘good baby’, then no matter what they answer I tell them it’s not good enough and walk away
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No"still walking" a eagle take the foal and fly the Nature is healing Herself
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Ill do weverything i do with other fluffies as well
Keep it till adulthood then
- If it gives me good batches ill keep it and sell the babies
- If it doesnt, i eat it
If i just leave it there i could potentially loose a chance of good monetary income or a good meal.
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Test it to see if it’s a bestest baby or a smarty. If it passes, I keep it. If it fails, I try to pick apart its mindset and try to revert it back to innocence. If successful, keep. If not, neuter/spay it, put it on its back in a slight ditch and leave it.
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“Why, hello there li’l fella! Say, you look a bit too young to be a talkie babbeh. Good babbehs are patient and take their time. Only bad babbehs grow up too fast and overwhelm their mammahs and daddehs. Don’t fret li’l guy, I have the just the tools I need in my shed to make you a chirpie babbeh again…permanently!”
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Take the time to explain the “blood in, blood out” concept of the fake gang I just made up, probably named something like “The Thrasherz” or something equally cool. Ask the fluffy if it’s ready to be either “jumped in” or “sexed in” as initiation. Do both anyways. Get it a cool tattoo, probably on its face or neck. Something classy, like a playboy bunny logo with the word “anus” nearby.
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I have a cat which sucks at killing mice.
It just plays and tortures them for HOURS .
I’d just give it to my cat as a play toy
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Psychological torture, and when the foal starts the wan die loop… Physical torture.
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One, give it some food and water to get itself oriented a bit
Two, bring to a vet to see if it’s a lost foal from a house etc, meanwhile getting it any treatment it needs. If it’s indeed a missing foal, bring it back to its owner, have a nice sandwich afterwards. This doesn’t count if it’s an abuse/mill situation.
Three, if a truly wild/feral/only survivor foal, or if it’s a missing foal and the owner/parent Fluffy doesn’t want it for some reason, bring it to a good shelter or, most likely, I’ll keep the little fella! We’ll watch movies and play DOOM, and of course have good sandwiches and tea.
Four: introduce the foal to the wonders of Twin Peaks, needs to have an appreciation for the surreal and damn good cups of coffee and cherry pie!
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