The black and white presenter steps into frame, Wod Sehwing takes a drag on a candy-cigarette and stares into the camera, speaking in his deeper than expected voice.
“If dey am wun fing aww Fwuffies wub, it am babbehs. Babbehs am bestesh fing eba an gud mummahs an daddehs wub aww babbehs da same. Bu wha if yu nu wan “ugwy” babbehs, wha if yu wan hab pwettish babbehs? Den maybe yu be wike da hewo of da neks stowy hewe…
In Da Twiwight Pwace.
Princess was pretty, hell she was beautiful, downright gorgeous one might say.
Her fluff was a rich, cloud white with iridescent pink sparkles, her mane was a curly lavender that bounces with every step she took, and her unicorn horn sparkled silver in the sunlight. As far as Fluffies went, she was basically a goddess.
And boy did she know it.
Princess would prance and saunter throughout her daddy’s home, coyly pushing his buttons to see what she could get away with. Want a new toy, she’d pout and whine for a bit until he gifted her something from the expensive catalogue. Want sketti instead of kibble, only if she did her exercises afterwards. Made bad poopies on the carpet, complain that the litterbox stunk and she couldn’t go near it. She got away with everything, and got anything she wanted.
All except one thing.
“DADDEH, PWINCESS WAN BABBEHS!”
Her owner Joseph McGonagall jumped at the sudden screech, then he sat back into his seat and sighed, Princess had been on and on about babbehs since Fluff-TV did a surprise marathon of ‘Babbehs Bestesh Adventure’ while he was out. And now she wouldn’t stop asking if she could have them.
“Princess, daddy’s told you, you’ll get babbehs when daddy finds you the best, most special special-friend there is and you can have the prettiest babbehs there ever were.”
Princess scowled. “Hnngh, wan babbehs nyo, wan be mummah.”
“Soon my darling, soon.”
Sated, for the moment, Princess stormed off back to her safe-room and grumpily played with her toys, all the while Joseph went back to looking online for reputable breeders. He needed a proper stallion in every sense of the word, Princess’ foals were basically going to pay off his mortgage.
He knows, he might even go back to medical school.
A week later, Princess got her wish. She was a soon-mummah.
“Pwincess wub babbehs, babbehs wub pwincess, hab pwettiesh babbehs, dey su pwetty.”
Joseph had found a stunning monochrome black unicorn with a prominent glossy gene to give his coat an obvious sheen with it hit the light and introduced him to Princess as a mate, Princess couldn’t believe her luck that a stallion almost as pretty as her was to give her babbehs.
She damn near broke the poor thing’s dick backing up into him.
Now she spent most of her days singing to her unborn young, reminding them all of how much she loved them, and how she couldn’t wait to see them.
Every once in a while Joseph would pop into her safe-room and remind her of their deal.
“Now remember Princess, you can only keep one foal, the rest will go to other mummies and daddies.”
“Pwincess knyo daddeh, Pwincess happy tu hab wub bestesh, pwettiesh babbeh and stiww be mummah.”
Joseph was happy she understood, he couldn’t afford to keep all the foals but one extra mouth was manageable and with any luck should gift him with more, even prettier foals once they reached puberty.
But for now, he had to deal with Princess, amazingly the idea of wealth kept him saner than he though throughout her constant demands.
Pretty soon, the day came, with a loud and screeching “BIG POOPIES!”
Joseph rushed through to the safe-room, finding the immobile Princess struggling and straining as her foals were pushed out of her.
“HHNNNGGGHHHH!!! DADDEH HEWP, BABBEHS HUWTING SPECIAW-PWACE!”
“It’s ok Princess, I’m here, I’ll help you get those…”
Joseph froze, he looked down at the foals already out and landed on the soft bedding, and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Daddeh? Daddeh wha wong? Am babbehs ok?”
Joseph said nothing, he did nothing, he simply watched as Princess fought against the pressure below her waist, crying and screaming with each new contraction.
Eventually, after several minutes of loud and painful crying, Princess was back to normal size and able to turn round and see her foals for the first time.
And when she did, she screamed.
Her five, gorgeous, wonderful, pretty, perfect babbehs were… were… POOPIES! Every single one of them, dull greys, lifeless greens, even dirty, stinky, shitty browns. They were the ugliest, worstesh babbehs she had ever seen.
“NU! Whewe am Pwincess pwetty babbehs, wha dummeh ugwy babbehs du tu Pwincess gud babbehs?”
Princess looked up at her daddy, he had remained silent throughout the entire birth but now looking at him, she swore she could see his eye twitching.
Joseph was snapped back to earth and smiled at Princess.
“It’s ok hun, let’s get rid of those nasty, ugly mean babies, don’t want them stealing the milk for your good babies now do we.”
“Huu, nu wan ugwy babbehs, Pwincess HATCHU dummeh babbehs.”
The newborn foals cried out against their mother’s hatred, blinding wishing for huggies and milk to heal their heart-hurties. The first few minutes of their lives were filled with sadness and confusion as they wondered why their bed was being lifted into the air, why were they suddenly surrounded by cold water, and what was that flushing sound. Before they thought of nothing ever again.
The next day, Princess was in a sulk, she had spent all day looking for her pretty babbehs and was heartbroken when Joseph told her they were never there. She wondered how a Fluffy as pretty and perfect as her could have such ugly babbehs.
Her daddy said it must’ve been the stallions fault, he’d never been ‘studded’ before – whatever that meant – she chances are he had bad lumps. Princess accepted that answer, it couldn’t have been HER fault, she was so perfect and pretty and everything was right about her.
Even better, he daddy had gotten her another special-friend, a strong ruby red stallion with a diamond white mane. She had seen a picture of him and couldn’t believe there was someone even prettier than the first dummeh bad lump stallion.
He was arriving tomorrow, and surely HE must give her the bestesh prettiesh babbehs she deserved.
“GODDAMMIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”
Princess cowered at the loud, mean words her daddy hurled at her, she had given birth for the second time and somehow things were even worse.
Her babbehs looked even ugly, the greens duller, the browns shittier, there was one that could only be described as ‘puce’ in colours.
“Huu, am sowwy daddeh, Pwincess nu knyo wai babbehs am ugwy dummehs. Nu knyo wha Pwincess du bu pwomise neba du it gain.”
“YOU BETTER NOT BECAUSE I SWEAR…”
Joseph stopped when the stench of scardie poopies hit his nose, Princess had shat all over the bed, and her kids, some of the browner ones he couldn’t even see anymore. Joseph took a deep breath and calmly petted Princess on the head.
“It’s ok girl, we’ll do better next time, I’ll find you the most perfect stallion there is and he WILL give you those pretty babies.”
“Weawwy daddeh? Yu stiww wan Pwincess be mummah.”
‘I fucking need you to be so I can pay off this mess’ Joseph silently thought to himself.
“Of course I do hun, but because daddy needs to spend a lot of money of this next special-friend, you won’t be able to keep any. Do you understand?”
“Bu… bu Pwincess wan be mum…”
“I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
“YEH, YEH, HUUUUUU, PWINCESS UNDASTAN!”
“Good, now get up and I’ll get rid of those ugly foals for you.”
Still weeping, Princess solemnly adhered to her daddy’s demands and got off the bed, letting her daddy take the foals away in the shitstained bedding.
She wouldn’t hear it from her safe-room, but Joseph let out a lot of frustrations in the back garden using the foals and a golf-club.
Princess lay in her bed crying, trying to ignore the stink of boo-boo juice from her special-place.
Her daddy had found her the most incredibly stunning special-friend she’d ever seen. His Fluff was golden, shimmering yellow in the light with dots of shining white scattered throughout his body, his mane was pure sapphire blue and his horn shone even brighter than her own.
She did find it odd that he wore a cloak, even more so at one those two lumps underneath it were, but otherwise he was a perfect specimen of a stallion. Utterly perfect to look at and with a track record of perfect breeding.
Sadly he knew this all too well, and was not gentle with Princess. If anything, she believed that hurting her just made him go faster.
As she tried to ignore the bruising around her special-place, her thoughts turned to her foals, surely, SURELY now they would be perfect. They had to be, she couldn’t be punished anymore than this could she. After all, all she wanted was to be a mother.
A mother to the bestesh, prettiesh babbehs ever. Was that so much to ask?”
“DADDEH, DADDEH NU, PWEASE NU HUWT PWINCESS, PWINCESS AM GUD FWUFFY, PWINCESS WUB…”
“YOU WORTHLESS SHIT-FACTORY! AFTER EVERYTHING I PUT INTO YOU, EVERYTHING I PUT UP WITH BECAUSE YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE A BREEDING MARE AND YOU CAN’T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT!”
Princess tried, and failed to dodge out of the way of her daddy’s boot, she went flying backwards, landing roughly into the nest of her newborn young.
Six foals, every single one of them the most horrendous shade of brown you’d ever seen. It was impossible to believe, but she had seen the proof with her own two eyes.
And Joseph was FURIOUS with her.
Princess tried to roll away, but Joseph grabbed her by the scruff and yanked her up, ignoring her wails and promises to do better as he opened the door and chucked her outside.
“I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, I HATE YOU YOU FUCKING SHITRAT!”
Princess tumbled and rolled against the harsh concrete before she landed, battered and bruised on the sidewalk. She got up and looked around, but with the front door now shut she couldn’t tell which was her house.
“DADDEH! DADDEH NU WEAVE PWINCESS, PWINCESS AM GUD FWUFFY, PWINCESS WUB YU!”
She run in circled for several minutes, trying to get her daddy to hear her, but her cries fell on deaf eyes and she was left alone outside. Outside the for first time in her life.
Not knowing what else to do, Princess picked a direction and started running, hoping she could find a new home soon.
“Huu, Pwincess nu wike dis, gwound am tuu hawd, it am tuu cowdies, an Pwincess hab tummeh-huwties. Need find nyu mummah ow daddeh, need…”
Princess froze, she looked back and saw something on her back, huddled into her neck fluff an holding on for dear life.
It was one of her babbehs, she must’ve gotten onto her neck when Joseph kicked Princess into the bed. This was her babbeh, her last babbeh, her only babbeh. Princess carefully picked the filly off her neck and…
Dropped her onto the concrete.
“Dummeh ugwy babbeh, it yuw fauwt Pwincess nu hab homesie nu mowe. Pwincess nu wub poopie babbeh.”
With a final raspberry, Princess turned her nose up and stormed off, knowing she would find a home soon. At least that’s what she told herself.
What Princess didn’t know, was that all her commotion had awoken a resident of the nearby ally, the homeless man stumbled out to investigate the racket, finding the brown filly crying on the floor.
“Hey, hey there. It’s ok I gotcha. Ooh, you’re a youngin, must be even hungrier than I am. Well I got some money I was saving up for a beer… but fuck it, you could use a drink more than me. Beside, might be nice to have a friend out here.”
As the homeless man tickled the brown filly and walked off in the opposite direction from where Princess was walking, the camera slowly pulled back to reveal Wod Sehwing watching everything from across the street.
After a moment, Wod turns to the camera.
“Pwincess fink dat cos she am pwettiesh Fwuffy eba, she hab pwetty babbehs. Bu cos Pwincess am biggesh meanie, hew tummeh NEBA make pwetty babbehs. Dat wittew babbeh she weave behind? She gwow up, hab da bestesh, pwettish babbehs, gib hew and hew daddeh da monies to hab gud homesie, an she wub ebewy babbeh she eba hab.”
Wod took another drag of his candy cigarette before continuing.
“Wememba, anee Fwuffy can be pwetty on da ousside, but if yu nu am pwetty on da inside, den maybe yu belong in…
Da Twiwight Pwace.”