Honestly the best part is the fact that our “battle” is just furious arguing over a keyboard. You know, since we both primarily write, lmao.
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I’ve been listening to a lot of stuff on it. Here is what I have gleaned.
Summary
The Activision mandate is just to basically keep repeating the “Blizzard flavor”. But since they burned through all the Precursor, Lovecraft, and sudden villain backstab or redemption stuff they had to literally say “afterlife, and precursors to the precursors”.
Since there was a lot of complaints of books that cost real money being required to know what the fuck it happening between expansions the rule was no more books and they aren’t given more time for lead-in quests or cinematics, but they are required to keep the same complexity. So HUGE amounts of whats going on just have no explanation.
So assuming you quit in Cataclysm: all the Old Gods are dead. Argus (Draenei home planet) is smashed so Demons can’t really resurrect anymore. The Titans were freed and Sargeras was locked up, all the other major Demoms are dead. Planets are baby Titans, Azeroth and Draenor were too but baby Azeroth is destined to be their hero queen so Sargeras’s main goal was killing her. This is because the Void Lords, who we still know nothing about, will kill her and consume everything or be killed by her. The Old Gods were their attempt to tentacle rape her into being a Void Lord in the planet womb.
There’s a pocket dimension that is “What if Garrosh swapped the original Horde demon shit for heavy metal Orc Nazism but then the Orcs stopped being shits and the Draenei went Spanish Inquisition Nazis instead but now they’re chill again too” and when someone there dies their soul merges with their main universe counterpart.
So the new precursors are the First Ones. They may not actually be the first. They created the universe and elements and shit using words and math, and are maybe made of math too, and make robots made of math who make everything else that exists out of math. The First Ones are very clearly just the game programmers and writers.
So the First Ones math robots built the Shadowlands, which serves as the afterlife. Its continually updated to reflect mortals, and new spaces are made when new species come into existence. Which as you recall usually happens when Void Lords or their minions bring robots and unliving nature stuff like fire and rock to life.
The Jailor is the main villain behind everything. Dude was supposed to torture souls until they become angels or the good kind of demons who only torture who they are supposed to, the Demons we knew until now are the ones that fucked off into outer space to be punk rock and shit. Jailor disrupted the harmony of all the pantheon of Shadowlands people, most of whom are that book lore we don’t have so knowing who the fuck and why any of it is happening is hard. Mainly though the Jailor made the judging angels decide to stop caring so now everyone goes to hell, called the Maw. He did this by having Uther die to Frostmourne which freaked them all the fuck out and made them lose hope in an existential crisis, because all the Lich King runes and the Fel magic and Demons and reason Sargeras went nuts is because the Jailor is literally just Tzeentch and is the source of everything. By the way, if all of this sounds familiar its because its just the plot of The Good Place. After we beat the Lich King and Sylvanas yeeted herself off Icecrown she was made aware of the Jailor’s plans and has been his pawn, so basically half of Cata and all of Mists, Warlords, and Battle were her doing. Then he gave her back the good part of her soul to fuck with her. He’s just basically keeping the adventurers entertained while he takes control of the math robots and becomes Skynet/AM/SHODAN over all the Blizzard IPs.
So.
In Shadowlands all the dead not in the Maw realize how little anything mattered and are free of their previous bullshit handwaves for going evil and can make the choice again. Kael’Thas and Vashj are heroes, but Kel’Thuzad is still an asshole. Garrosh blew up his soul rather than be part of the IP anymore, and Thrall’s mother is the champion of fucking light conquering the afterlife for the forces of good but in the most Horde way possible: eschewing angelic magic for hitting shit with giant fucking axes and using siege weapons.
Now Arthas, free from the Jailor’s runes and assorted bullshit, is joining with Sylvanas to kill the motherfucker.
By the way, Orcs came from Ogres, who came from the giants that WC2 TemplesOf The Damned were made from, who came from a Titan robot made of a mountain built to fight plant monsters. So to date, the only non-robot descendant races are Trolls and Goblins who are animals that evolved from magic exposure and Elves who evolved from Trolls.
As shit as it all sounds and is supposedly terrible to play it still sounds better than Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3. At least its having fun with itself. It really needs to go single player, I guess nobody plays with other people anymore.
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Having fun with itself is right. What a wankfest.
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Its like Heroes Of The Storm combined with Starcraft 2, and that somehow makes it good.
Though it seems the only people enjoying it are the ones not experiencing it. The frustration from playing it and trying to piece together what the fuck is going on vis youtube video is now profitable because nobody wants to do it themselves.
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Needs grimoire cards like Destiny used to have
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Or just make the lore content solo, like Warframe.
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I FORGOT WARFRAME EXISTED.
I was super hyped about The Second Dream too, back in the day.
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And then they sit down for tea, while the keyboards keep going.
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The New War just dropped.
Turns out that Cousin Wally had a growth spurt, and space mom’s DNA ancestry test fucked her up way more than we thought.
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Wasn’t there a thing about space mom being evil all along too or did I dream this myself.
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I don’t know why but this scene came to mind
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Kind of.
Summary
Margulis was the first space mom, the Orokin scientist who studied the Tenno children when they were still having universe-breaking PTSD seizures from being basically stuck in Dead Space.
Ballas is the mastermind, but he’s such a bastard he’s hard to hate too much. He made the Sentients, even though he was against them at first. Also the Grineer. Also sent the colony ship that made the Tenno. Also made the Infested.
Ballas was Margulis’s husband, but showing compassion and being imperfect are crimes to the Orokin so after a Tenno seizure blinded her and she demanded the Tenno be spared destruction he killed her himself after a show trial. Then blamed the whole universe for it, drawing the Sentients to attack, letting loose the Infested, cloning the most violent Grineer, and creating Warframes for the Tenno.
Natah was a Sentient mimicking a human sent to kill the Tenno. We thought she showed mercy and took on Margulis’s form as well as the name Lotus to become space mom 2, leading Tenno against all other factions to restore peace before putting them to sleep so they could wake up and protect the universe forever. In reality Ballas captured her and reprogrammed her to be his Margulis sex robot and wipe the board clean.
Lotus remembered her past and took on her Sentient form again, with her human disguise hanging from her “mouth” and seemed to kidnap Ballas when we were about to kill him to save her. She experimented on him to make hybrid Sentient/organics. Ballas sent us a special Sentient-killing sword blueprint telepathically as the Sentients invaded again.
Lotus was showing signs of cognitive dissonance. She remembers leading us against her brother Erras, but he’s back alive and commanding her to take control of her mother’s corpse to pump out baby Sentient soldiers. She wants the Tenno dead and fears/hates, but pities them and wants them back on her side. Except…yeah, avoiding specific spoilers but Ballas is still a manipulating bastard. Also, we now know more about void daddy.
Looks like Warframe is headed towards doing a broken timeline correctly, since time/space doesn’t work right in the void.
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Jeez. To go from “This is who you are” to "Nothing. This is what I am. "
I may need to play Warframe again.
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Have a listen to her “my brain is literally splitting and parts of it are mind-controlled” speech during this mission.
Its interesting because parts of her are more aware than others and still kind of maybe on our side and reveal plot info we don’t have context for yet, parts want to taunt us, parts are just mindless Sentient. She’s rambling things all three parts can agree on because the meanings are different from three angles.
Its quite well-written.
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fuck space mom
me and my hommies go to index without even thinking about her
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Awesome chat battle
Server: guys! Those two are flooding the system again! 
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I have to moderate and read the chat every day and every day those 2 write more than the previous one.
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Its not my fault I type fast and have a lot of strong opinions, lmao.
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Would it be fair to say that the headcanon sniping is a pointless endeavor?
Some people here want to imagine a world with fluffies as a layer of fantasy sprinkled with the contemporary. That’s fine.
Others like myself find it relaxing to partake in their misery and graphic deaths.
The attempts to steer how artists express these two facets of the community get tiring.
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eeeh… context?
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