Chuck’s life was good.
Aside from the ongoing Girl Scouts vs Tentacle Monsters war over the local illegal drug trade leading to the Tentacle Monsters terraforming the Moon into a fleshy fang-mouthed abomination that stared back at you at night things were peaceful and he had no complaints.
Except for one: His pegasus fluffy Hope was unhappy.
“Huu, Hope habe wingies, am wingy-fwuffy, wai Hope nu can fwy?”
Hope wanted to fly more than anything.
He spent his days staring at the sky he wanted to soar through and his nights wondering where the sky went when the big bright sky-ball went down.
Hope KNEW he was supposed to fly, he was a wingy-fluffy and wingy-fluffies flew.
He spent so many forevers practicing flapping his wingies, but he was never able to fly.
Hope’s Daddeh had forbade him from jumping from high places and even though Hope was certain that doing so was necessary for him to fly (Thanks to FluffTV’s special episode “The Higher You Jump The Better You Fly, Your Daddeh and/or Mummah is Wrong”) he had obeyed him.
Then one day Hope’s Daddeh Chuck had come to him and told him he’d be able to fly!
It was the best day ever! Better than sketty-day even! Hope had so many heart-happies!
Hope’s Daddeh brought him out to the backyard, where a bunch of ropes had been set up.
Hope’s Daddeh secured a harness around Hope’s middle, then tied a rope to a peg in the ground.
“Wut am Daddeh doing? Yu sai Hope fwy?”
“Yes Hope, but I want to be sure you’re safe so I’m securing you.”
“Otay, Hope twust yu, Daddeh. Wub yu su muchies!”
Chuck nodded.
“I love you too, Hope.”
Then he tied a big white balloon to the top of Hope’s harness. It was more than big enough to lift the pegasus fluffy off the ground, but was kept from sailing off with him by the peg in the ground.
Hope was the happiest he’d ever been! He was soaring through the air, even if being so high off the ground was a little scary it felt right to fly!
“Teehee, Hope am FWYING! YAY! WEEEEEEEEE!!! WUB FWYING!”
Chuck was just about to sit back and watch his fluffy having fun when it happened.
A F-22 Fighter Jet shot a missile into the balloon and Hope, exploding them both into tiny pieces.
Chuck looked up at the sky and shook his fist.
“DAMN YOU, JOE BIDEN!”
In the White House President of the United States Joe Biden chuckled as he ate ice cream.
“That’s what you get for being a fucking hugboxer. None of that commie shit in my country, Jack.”
