Evolution (By L.A Vaught)

you are a brown unicorn fluffy mare
you are with a herd of other poopie fluffies
most of you were kicked out of your other herds but you’re going strong
in fact many of the other herds you saw were predominantly poopies
your smarty doesn’t want pretty babbehs which is fine because you and your special friend didn’t have any
just three brown and green foals, perfect for hiding from munstahs and bad hoomins
you don’t name them because no one has a name in this herd besides smarties and toughies
you are currently on the edge of the city specifically a gas station when you hear peeping and huuing
Babbehs?
you walk up to the back of a trash can and see a garish pink and blue mare that got forever sleepies
forever sleepies fluffies can’t talk
but you still here peeps and “want mummah!”
you investigate and knock over the corpse despite the fact that it didn’t smell pretty
with some effort to both move the body and not to disturb your wingie babbeh on your back you manage it to discover two chirping foals
a blue one close to death, not gonna save it, a fat crying pink one and a skinny crying brown babbeh
both perk up to see you
“HEwp bestes babbeh !”
you ignore him as you go over to it’s poopie huuing brother
“No dat am wowstest poopie babbeh fow wickie cweanies!” it shouts thumping your legs futiley as you push the brown babbeh to your teats
the brown babbeh is confused
“Miwk fo poopie babbeh? Chirp?” It asks
“Am nyu mummah!”
the brown babbeh happily begins to suckle
he says pushing his brother to the side
“am mowe pwetty, gib miwkies to bestes babbehs.”
you push him away
“No, mummah no gib dummeh munstah foo miwkies.”
“Wai dummeh poopie mummah no wike bestes babbeh?”
he continues to ask as the brown foal suckles happily, perhaps for the first time in it’s life
then you hear a sound…
barky monsters
you grab the brown foal and your back and try to think of an escape plan
you can hide under the porch to the side
you pick up the bestes babbeh into the open
“wat am dummeh mawe doin to bestes babbeh?”
it asks with indignation
and with that you casually break it’s leg and run like hell to the safety of the porch crevice as you see the barky munstahs come attracted by the sound and bright colors
the bestes babbeh is still huuing as the big barky monster circles it
“Wemembew babbehs, pwetty babbehs onwy gud fo munstah foo and distwak munstahs so no num poopie fwuffies.”

24 Likes

I like to think that as time goes on the feral genome goes more towards poopie, with bright and colorful ones becoming a minority that soon becomes relegated to live bait and diversions. Depending on how dark and cannibalistically inclined you wanna go corolfluffs might be kept as nummie babbeh factories during cold times.

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the logic, or perhaps illogic, that hasbio would make it so they hate badly colored foals pisses me off. wouldnt they just make it so they couldnt be that color unless under special circumstances? i mean if we’re gonna pull pseudoscience out of our asses with stuff like lego biology and an animal that can survive for weeks on end eating nothing but its own shit, then why stop there? (i know why dont worry)

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Thare evolving! :anguished::anguished::anguished::scream::scream::scream::fearful::fearful::fearful:

1 Like

i’m a simple man. I see L.A Vaught post, i click

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I think it’s stupid tbh, and I do think that within a few years dark colors would be predominant in ferals, assuming they can even become an invasive species.

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as far as my interpretation goes, fluffies dont have any programming that says “hate bad colors”, but i could definitely see a racist chucklenut training fluffies to hate bad colors and tell others to hate bad colors. or just a spoiled mom who sees her kids as toys and doesnt like boring looking toys

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I agree with the last part, but I imagine ferals are more mature because they gotta be. But this fandom was never about interesting concepts, and most headcanons are just sorta there to actively discourage interesting ideas.

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Wouldn’t they be under fire because they made them instinctively hate dark colored fluffies, I mean at the very least they would be canceled on twitter

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Yeah, implications aren’t great.

I don’t. Enlighten me.

Makes for interesting writing