Chapter III: Starting Over
Previous Chapter: Chapter II
The sound of Fenrir’s crying and wailing had alerted the staff that something was wrong. In each of the cubbies within the recovery room, there was a camera to keep watch on any fluffies currently within. While the cameras don’t record sound, there is a microphone on the opposite wall in order to hear if needed any sound emanating from the cubbies—more like micro hospital rooms—in the event that an emergency occurred. A certain level of sound would trip a light on the desk for the nurse on duty that they might listen in and see what might be wrong. From time to time, this device can be triggered by fluffies for any number of reasons; screaming after bumping into walls or objects, merely waking up with bandages after anaesthesia, believing the low light level to be ‘dawkies, scawy’… you get the picture. But it’s a useful tool when something truly does require action and in this case, Nurse Tenzin, the current human on duty in the early hours of this particular morning, was alerted that something was peaking the levels of that very microphone.
Tenzin paused browsing fora on his phone, noticing the red light off to the left on the panel in front of him. Oh boy, I wonder what it is this time.
Fully prepared for it to be nothing, he pressed the button to listen in. Immediately bracing for the usual banal complaints or crybaby behaviour, he was surprised to hear the sobbing and exclamation of ‘Sissy! Sissy! uu huu huu, wai sissy webe brudda? Wai go foweba sweepies, huu webe bwudda aww awone… huu…’
Quickly looking at the camera, seeing Fenrir thrown over his deceased sister in despair, Tenzin pushed back the chair and headed immediately for the room. He got the doctor on the line from speed dial. ‘Doctor Neustadt? This is Tenzin. We’ve got a problem, it seems the emergency op patient from yesterday, she didn’t make it.’
‘What? Oh damn. I’ll be in shortly, I’ll need to get ready first’ she replied. ‘Keep the brother occupied a bit if you can. I’ll have to call the guardian on my way in, he’s probably going to be frustrated as much as I am at this unfortunate situation.’
Tenzin paused, ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to call him first, so he can get a heads up on the situation? It might—’
‘No, no. I’ll do it. Just worry about the fluffy, and I’ll be in shortly’ she interrupted.
Hanging up the phone, Tenzin walked into the room, now hearing the sobbing first hand. ‘Hey little guy, I noticed something was wrong and came to check up on you. What happened?’
Fenrir, face still flush with tears, looked up breaking his gaze from his sister’s face for the first time in what seemed like forever. ‘Huu, nice mistah, sissy Wuhdiss hab foweba sweepies… huu. Am su much hawt huwties.’
‘I’m so sorry to hear that, dude.’ Tenzin walked over to the half height plexiglass door, and opened it. The two fluffies resting on a moveable bed, he picked up the bed and brought them to the side of the room where he could sit next to Fenrir and his sister, to hold and pet and try to calm Fenrir down. After getting situated he began stroking Fenrir’s back, listening to him sob and chatter.
‘Bwudda miss sissy, wub Wuhdiss, wan be wid Wuhdiss, huu…’ Fenrir started saying. This worried Tenzin a little. ‘Hey…’ He quickly took a look at Fenrir’s chart to check the listed name. ‘Blue, don’t say that. I know you miss her, I’m sure she loved you very much too, but being with her now would also mean “forever sleepies” for you, and we don’t want that. A nice mister brought you in here to help fix you and your sister up. He’s going to be here soon, and then once you’re better he’ll take your new home and he’ll be your new daddy. Don’t you want that?’
This broke Fenrir’s sobs a bit, but something still nagged at him. ‘Weewy, nice mistah? Wiww hab nyu daddie? Wan famiwy, buh want famiwy wid sissy too.’ Fenrir began to look downcast again. ‘Nice wady say sissy wiww be otay. Buh sissy nu otay. Bwuu know ting nu awways gud. Know ting wook gud, buh den am weewy bad.’
Tenzin actually was surprised to see Fenrir understand a bit more than fluffies generally do. Then again, perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised him. This one’s been through a whole lot, and looks barely mid adolescence. He’ll be the equivalent of a teenager within a couple of months, and yet he’s gone through the abandonment of himself and his sister, injury, and death of his entire family. All too common a story, sadly. He sighed.
This work really is a bummer most of the time. The pay is just the same as other animal hospitals, but here, you see it all. The constant injuries, the pillows, the maimed ones from abuse, either fluffy driven or human. You see the inanity of many of them, completely dissociated from reality—the smarty syndrome sufferers. And most of them are too dumb to survive. But every now and again, you get the few who you want to see succeed. You want to see them better off, and happy. Some of them make you smile, some of them are just as good as any dog or cat you’ve ever met, and sometimes they make you laugh.
Some of these thoughts filled Tenzin’s head as he stroked Fenrir, now mildly sniffling and tears drying up. They sat there quietly, Fenrir’s legs wrapped around his sister, and Tenzin’s arms wrapped around them both.
Mark received a call early in the morning. Normally he would be sleeping for another half hour, work not being for another two. Who could be calling so early? Oh, right, those fluffies in the care centre. He hoped it wasn’t something small, or rather, perhaps he thought he hoped it wouldn’t be something terrible. He was still waking up, cut him some slack.
‘Hello?’ Mark yawned.
‘Hi, Mr. Silvan, this is Dr. Neustadt from FluffCare. Sorry to wake you, but I regret to inform you that your female foal, Eurydice, passed away suddenly this morning.’
‘Oh god, what happened?’ Mark asked, simultaneously cursing himself internally. Of course Eurydice was a bad idea. You know how that story ends!
‘We’re not sure yet, I can run some tests, but a full autopsy is probably not something you want to pay for. There are a number of things which might have gone wrong, typically it’s something internal that went awry following the procedure. It can be something like a delayed reaction to anaesthesia, or perhaps a sudden internal haemorrhage. These kinds of events are sadly not incredibly uncommon in human patients either.’
Dr. Neustadt tried to assuage the curiosity of Mark, while still trying to run through the scenarios in her own head. The surgery did go well, but given the limited resources and short time, more in depth examination which a human might have received were ultimately not thought warranted, nor possible. In cases like this, some slip through the cracks, this she knew well.
‘I understand’ Mark returned. ‘I suppose I should come in, I can settle up payments and be there for the brother. Then I guess I’d be able to take him home?’
‘Of course, sir. We’d like you to come in and do think it’d be very good for the sibling’s mental health right now. But considering his own physical state, we’d like to have him observation for a full day. You can also settle up billing when you take him home if you’d like. Perhaps you could set up a space for him for when you take him home, having the day before you do will make that a bit easier. There’s really no rush on the details for now. Just being there for him a bit this morning will make a lot of difference.’
‘Ah, yeah, that’d probably be a good idea’ Mark replied. ‘I’ll head in presently. Unfortunately I won’t be able to stay too long this morning. I do need to head into work later on, but I’ll schedule a vacation day for tomorrow. That way when I bring him home he can have a good amount of time to acclimate.’
‘Alright, sir. I’ll be there when you arrive. Again, I’m so sorry this happened, and we’ll keep an eye on your other fluffy while he’s with us. Goodbye.’
‘Goodbye, thank you.’ Mark hung up. Whew.
He didn’t know where to begin. Putting on his clothes after a quick shower, he thought.
After all the stuff that little fluffy went through to try and get his sister better, it’s kind of depressing.
Sometimes the world just doesn’t care, and really, when you stop and think about it, that’s what the universe is. It’s an unfeeling, disinterested expanse. Things happen, and nothing really affects karma. Karma is what we bring ourselves. Mark believed that he didn’t want to be an ass, and he wanted good things in life. That’s about the breadth of his take on morality and ethics. The golden rule always served him well, and the people in his life seemed to get on well with him. Sure, he had the occasional ups and downs. Currently, his girlfriend of three years was calling their current split ‘a break’. But, he saw this coming: They’d been arguing for months on and off about seemingly nothing at all really. It was about a week after she left that he ran across those little fluffies in the park. At that time he had this odd feeling that a new chapter was beginning. If his girlfriend was out, then, maybe something else was in.
‘Well, I better get over there’ he muttered, grabbing his keys from the table. His breath actually visible as he shut the car door, the frost on the windows gave him a moment of inspiration. He hadn’t even had much time to think on the name of the male foal, but now here was an answer. Why not give him something bold, for a bold beast such as he. He’s strong, he’s a survivor, and he’s gotta be clever enough to get through a lot, to defeat a lot. Fenrir. The lupine offspring of Loki always fascinated him. Here was a beast who went toe to toe with gods, who brought about Ragnarok. This guy needs something powerful to guide him, and I can give it to him.
As Mark entered the FluffCare building, Dr. Neustadt was waiting at the front desk for him. ‘He’s right this way’ she uttered, opening the staff door to allow Mark back to area which included the recovery room.
‘How’s he doing?’ he asked.
‘He’s doing better than many fluffies do at this stage, but the loss of a family member is always hard. We’ve kept him company the best we can. Later we’ll have to get him to eat, which will mean being around some other fluffies in the feeding area. Hopefully that will go smoothly, but before then, you can offer him a bit of encouragement.’ Dr. Neustadt gauged Mark, walking slowly beside him as they head towards the recovery room door. Mark was a little apprehensive, he hadn’t really spent much time with the foal other than bringing him from the park to this fluffy… hospital for lack of a better word.
‘I do have something which maybe he’ll be pleased with, finally coming up with a name I really like for him’ Mark said, turning to the doctor. ‘Fenrir.’
‘The mythological Norse wolf’ she replied. ‘Not a bad choice. Fluffies really place a high premium on names. They don’t usually have much understanding of what they mean, but so long as it’s not something bad they’re familiar with they generally respond quite positively. They wanted to sell them already desiring a name from their caregivers initially.’
‘Huh, interesting. I had no idea’ Mark hemmed.
‘Well, here we are’ the doctor said. ‘Go slow, we’re going to have to broach taking his sister from him to run some tests on her. And then it’ll be up to you what we do with the body.’
‘I think cremating her would be best. I could bury her in my garden, maybe when Fenrir’s ready. Until then I could tell him she’s there with him inside the urn. He probably won’t get it completely but maybe he’d want her nearby.’ The whole process was certainly weighing on Mark’s mind.
‘That seems perfectly reasonable’ replied the doctor. ‘Let’s head in.’
Mark could see Tenzin sitting against the wall with the basket containing the fluffies on his lap. He was slowly stroking Fenrir’s bright blue iridescent mane as he lay cradling Eurydice between his stubby fluffy legs. It was surprisingly silent; Mark knew fluffies to generally be hysterical when scared, sad, or in pain. Fenrir’s gaze was dim, distant. He didn’t cry, he didn’t sob, though Mark could see the reddish eyes and the stained fur. Fenrir’s nose was still wet. Indeed it was clear he had been crying for some time, but now it seemed he was resigned to the situation, cried out.
‘Hey buddy’ Mark began softly. ‘It’s me, Mark. Do you remember me?’
Fenrir slowly turned his eyes towards the new voice. 'Fwuffy ‘memba nice mistah.’ He sniffed a bit. ‘Am sowwie nice mistah, hab wowst saddies. Sissy am gu foweba sweepies.’ Fenrir shifted his eyes down. He was having trouble even bringing words out, the whole ordeal having taxed him to his emotional limit.
‘I’m so sorry, buddy. I know you feel really bad right now. I wish I could bring her back for you, but you know it’s not possible.’ Mark tried to give Fenrir the hint that it was a permanent situation; he’d have to move on.
‘Fwuffy know. Wen babbehs hab foweba sweepies, nu wakies nu moww.’ Fenrir already knew that, he’d seen all his siblings die at the hands of the monster. He saw his mother trample two of them and run away, only to see her coax her way into more, as though they were some sort of disposable item to be generated and tossed aside.
Mark was relieved, knowing at least perhaps this fluffy wouldn’t be extremely difficult to teach every little thing in order for him to be at least marginally self sufficient. ‘I know you’re really sad, but I do have something to tell you which might make you feel better.’ Mark paused, allowing Fenrir to turn towards him once again. ‘I’m going to be your new daddy. After today, you’ll be living with me and you won’t be alone any more.’
‘Weewy nice mistah? Be nyu daddy?’ Fenrir asked, his eyes seeming to make an effort to change their glimmer from despair to hope, but ultimately not quite making it. It’d take time for this scarring series of events in his short life to scab over and for his mind to be turned to the hopeful present and to the future. ‘Wiww wub nyu daddy, fwuffy just wan be safe, hab famiwy. Nu wan be awone.’
Mark was actually beginning to feel the depressed listening to Fenrir’s efforts to even contemplate something beyond his miserable past existence. ‘You’re going to have me from now on, buddy. And I will love you always, never forget that. I even have something else for you which I hope you’ll like. Daddy’s going to give you a new name. Do you want a new name?’ Mark asked, hoping this would help further.
‘Weewy? Fwuffy wud wub nyu namesies. Mummah nebba gib namesies, onwy caww poopie babbehs, an dummehs’ Fenrir responded.
‘You’re going to be Fenrir, buddy. I thought about it really hard, and hope you like it. By the way, I’m Mark. You can call me that or you can call me daddy, it’s up to you, I’m good either way’ Mark grinned back at him.
'Am Fenwiwr? Fenwiwr wub namesies. Tank ‘ou daddeh, Mawk. Daddeh am such nice daddeh.’ Fenrir’s tail swooshed a couple of times before hugging Eurydice a bit tighter. He then pulled away and nuzzled next to her back, placing his head on the soft blanket.
Mark walked closer to Tenzin and the fluffies, as Dr. Neustadt mouthed ‘I’ll be outside’ to both of them. She closed the door, allowing Mark a short time to sit with Fenrir and acclimate. He asked the nurse as he sat down ‘Do you think we’ll be able to get him to let go today? I can’t stay too long, but I’ll sit here with you for a few minutes.’
Tenzin replied ‘We’ll be able to slowly get him to detach for sure. Fluffies don’t have a very good memory, usually they’re pretty easily distracted. This one seems a bit more aware, though. It might not be smooth but even if he gets distraught over us taking his sister shortly, he’ll be alright eventually. Would you be able to hold him for a bit? If you can do that, he’ll cry but then I can take her to the diagnostic room and run a couple of tests on the body.’
‘Oh absolutely, I can do that. I talked with Dr. Neustadt before I came and I’ve already decided we’ll cremate her. Maybe I can talk to Fenrir about it while you’re gone.’ Mark reached over and gave Fenrir a pat on the head, noticing Fenrir looking at him after he said his name.
‘Daddeh?’ Fenrir asked, quizzically.
‘Oh, we were just talking buddy. Would you like daddy to hold you?’ Mark smiled back.
‘Yes daddeh, Fenwiwr nee’ huggies.’ He sat up and opened his front legs in the huggies pose. Mark lifted him up and cradled him in his arms, Fenrir’s legs wrapping around one of his arms. He softly began to coo as Tenzin began to get up, taking the basket so he could leave the room and run a short post mortem on Eurdyice. Fenrir’s eyes widened, suddenly trembling, noticing his sister was moving away.
‘Nuu! Sissy, Wuhdiss nu go! Huu…’ Fenrir began wriggling as tears were welling in his eyes.
‘Buddy, shh, look at daddy. Daddy won’t leave you, just stay with me. The nice man needs to take your sister, she can’t stay with you like this.’ Mark tried to calm Fenrir as he stroked his forehead.
‘Daddeh wai nu can Wuhdiss be wid Fenwiwr?’
‘When fluffies die… have forever sleepies… even when humans die, we can’t stay with the ones we love. We have to go somewhere else. But I promise after he’s done, Eurydice will come back. She just won’t look like herself any more.’ Mark struggled to try to figure out a good way of explaining it. ‘She’ll be in a pretty box, the prettiest box. And you can hug her and talk to her every day. One day, if you feel ready, we can put her in the garden where she can sleep with the flowers and be pretty always.’
‘Fenwiwr nu weewy un’stan’ Fenrir sobbed, trying to stop. ‘Buh daddeh am su nice, an weewy nice to sissy. Sissy can be wid Fenwiwr at nyu housie, buh in pwettie boxie?’
‘That’s right buddy.’ Mark glanced to Tenzin, nodding that he could leave the room.
After Tenzin left, Mark leaned back against the wall, holding Fenrir close to his chest, trying to comfort him. Fenrir softly cooed, gradually relaxing. He felt safe, he had never felt safe before. His human daddy was so big, so warm. He gave the best huggies, and it made him wonder if this was what having mummah’s huggies would have been like. It made him never want to be without Mark.
Mark glanced at his watch, he knew he had to leave soon. ‘Fenrir, daddy is going to have to go soon. I know you’re afraid if I leave I won’t come back. But I promise you I will come back later today. Do you know what a promise is?’
Fenrir was a little nervous after hearing that daddy was going to leave. ‘Nu daddeh, wuh am pwomiss?’
‘A promise is when someone says they will do something no matter what. When they make a promise, they have to keep it. If they don’t, they’re bad, and I promise you I won’t be a bad daddy. Do you understand?’ Mark looked at Fenrir with a serious gaze.
Something about it made Fenrir a little uneasy, but looking into Mark’s eyes, he felt he could trust him. ‘Yes daddeh, Fenwiwr un’stan.’
A few minutes later, Mark got up, and with the newly returned Tenzin’s assistance, placed a now sleeping Fenrir back in his basket along with a soft fluffy pillow and blanket. Fenrir pulled the blanket tighter around him as he hugged the pillow tightly. The two left the room, and Mark headed off to work, plans of FluffMart purchases on the itinerary for later.
One last tear ran down Fenrir’s cheek as he began to slip into an exhaustion driven sleep.
‘Bai… Wuhdiss.’
Next Chapter: Chapter IV