Fenrir's Story - Chapter X [by eirinym]

Chapter X: What Dies in Winter Blossoms in Spring

Previous Chapter: Chapter IX

‘Wuh?’ Fenrir asked, pulling away slightly, and looking into Alex’s eyes. The now sobering stallion looked a bit surprised, somehow, through his tear stained fluff.

‘Nu, nuffin…’ Alex tried to look away. Knowing the safety of this place, he now cherished it above all else. Recalling his time in the shelter, his then assumed epiphany of love and happiness in the embrace of friendship and comfort of another fluffy was soured by the realisation that humans were very specific about their desires for mating. At least, that’s what Alex thought. The only connection he held in his mind was the disapproval and fear brought on by his brief moments of happiness in the shelter with his thus far one and only friend, Henry—his tragic death still lingering in his mind, still haunting. That this place, this new home, gave him solace and love was more than enough. He was sure of this. No, he couldn’t risk all of that again. He shook himself off, and hugged Fenrir once more.

‘Feew bettah nao, nu wowwy. Am… sweepy. Wan gu sweepies, fwen?’ Alex tried to elude suspicion or concern with his deflection. Fenrir, however, was glad to hear this.

‘Ob cawse! Hewe, dis am bedsies, sweep wid Fenwiwr, bestes’ fwend.’ Fenrir motioned as he slowly walked to his bed, inviting Alex to join him. Alex felt slightly uncomfortable, but he followed.

On the one hand, the apprehension was understandable, coming to terms with the fear of the love he had. But it was love! He loved daddy, and he loved his mummah, he was sure, long ago. Now he loved Fenrir too, like he loved Henry. He loved all the fluffies he tried to befriend. He loved Selene, the fluffy mare he had been made to give bad enfies many times. She was a pretty, pretty mare. And he hated hurting her, but she knew. She told him she loved him too! But each time he tried to love, his heart was hurt by the mean humans. He didn’t want his new daddy to hurt him, or stop loving him. So, he knew he couldn’t want the love he had for Fenrir result in the desire for good feels. None of it made sense, because he only saw when fluffies were pretty. He saw pretty mares and pretty stallions, and yet the humans wanted babbehs. He knew babbehs were good, but he also liked pretty fluffies, and once he knew he could have good feels without bad enfies, he thought it would be better. Sadly, the truth seemed very different.

As he lay down next to him, Fenrir held him close. ‘Wuv Awex, gud dawk time bestes’ fwend.’

Alex could feel his heart beating very fast. It was as though he was melting at those words. Bestes’ fwen? He’d never been called that before… it was amazing—almost as amazing as being called ‘speshul fwen’. He’d never had one before, but he had heard some of the other fluffies from the mill talk about it, and they made it sound really nice. He held Fenrir close, too. ‘Gud dawk time, bestes’ fwen.’

He repeated Fenrir’s phrase back to him, feeling almost embarrassed to even say it. Rather easily, the warmth and the comfort of both the bed and the amazing fluffy wrapped around him lulled him to a deep slumber.

Through that sleep, the sleep pictures came. Things he had forgotten came back to him—the image of himself, at least, he seemed sure—yes, it must have been him. He was still barely a talkie babbeh. But he saw, yes, it was mummah! She was so pretty, cream coloured like miwkies, bright purple eyes. He’s there, hugging his brothers and sisters, and she’s giving him lickie-cleanies. But her eyes, they have sad wawas. Why is she sad? He and all his siblings begin to give her huggies to fix the sadness, but it isn’t working. Then, something happens. A man comes and takes his mummah away. Why is he taking her? Babbehs need mummah!

But then, she was gone. As he lay with his brothers and sisters, hugging and crying, men came again and separated them. He begged for them to not take them away, but they didn’t listen. They put him in a cold box, and that box merely grew over time. He was put with other colts, and then the injections began. The sound of ‘enf, enf, enf’ began to repeat. Startled, his eyes shot open. He was awake, but it was still dark.

The jolt that must have broken his slumber apparently enough to draw a reflex from Fenrir to hug him closer, causing him to realise he was still where he fell asleep, in his new house with his new daddy and… friend. He began to relax again, the touch, the scent of Fenrir quite intoxicating. He breathed in deeply, and then realised. His no-no place was big. Startled and embarrassed, he quickly turned away.

In his head he spoke to himself, it. Nu! Nu tink fow gud feews. Fenwiwr fwen, just fwen. Am onwy feew gud, is otay. Nu tink. Confident it was abating, he lowered his anxiety. Funnily enough, the replacement medication he had been given in this instance was showing its effects. He was stabilising, even if he hadn’t realised it yet. His quick movement to obfuscate his excitation, however, had stirred Fenrir.

‘Mmm, Awex? Am otay?’ He blinked his eyes as he latched onto Alex from behind, his front legs and hooves now dangerously close to Alex’s lower abdomen. Alex’s heart began to race again.

‘Am-am gud, gu back sweepies, am gud!’ Alex nervously replied, hoping to slide a little away. Gracefully, Fenrir quickly fell back asleep, and he repositioned himself carefully so as not to reawaken him. Curled up in a ball, he lay his head beneath Fenrir’s, propping him up, and tried to get some more sleep. The offer from his new daddy to get another bed seemed rather appealing right now.

His mind not allowing more sleep, the next couple of hours seemed to slowly pass. But soon, he heard daddy. Carefully, he got up from the bed and made his way to the gate. Not long after, Mark opened his bedroom door, and turned around to see Alex standing right there, his head half above the top of it, looking up at him.

‘Hey Alex, good morning. How are you feeling?’ Mark noted that Alex seemed to be standing much easier, he seemed almost normal.

To Alex’s surprise, too, he felt so much better. His preoccupation with his realisation of his feelings had distracted him from the fact that he didn’t seem to have any pain, or nausea. He was even walking decently—still not as well as he was before he got sick, but almost there.

‘Uh, akshuwwy, Awex feew… gud?’ Alex realising it himself, taking a moment to contemplate the situation, he continued. ‘Nummies show weewd tings, buh, nu feew baddies nu mowe.’ He gave a bit of a sigh, seemingly relieved, at least of that much.

‘That’s really great’ Mark said, also relieved. ‘You want to eat breakfast with me? Is Fenrir still sleeping?’

Oh right, Fenrir.

‘Yus daddeh!’ Alex quickly replied, nervously. Mark gave a cocked eyebrow, but took it as just excitement to be able to eat normally. Shrugging it off, he picked Alex up and carried him over the gate. ‘Can you walk with me?’ he asked, looking down.

‘Yus’ Alex said simply, and slowly cantered alongside Mark, as they went to the kitchen.

Mark pulled out a chair, and went to the fridge to get eggs. An omelette seemed a simple enough thing to make this morning—one he could share with Alex, perhaps get to know him a bit more. Alex, to Mark’s surprise, moved over to the chair, peered over it, and hopped up, lying down in a curl as he whisked the eggs in the bowl.

‘I’m making an omelette. Well, I’m making some nummies I thought we could share, if you want some Alex.’

‘Otay daddeh, nu funny nummies aww dey?’ he asked, recalling the whirlwind of an experience he had the previous day, not even entirely remembering everything that happened.

Mark, chuckling, replied. ‘No, no. These don’t have anything funny in them. I don’t know what kind of foods you like, though. I hope this is okay.’

‘Wuv daddeh’s nummies. Nebah hab gud nummies den miwkies befow.’ Alex had only been given cheap kibble after he was taken from his mother. The milkbag was the last time he was able to access anything else.

‘Mmm, well, that really sounds awful to hear. I promise I won’t give you anything bad. I try to cook for myself and Fenrir as much as I can. Now you can join us.’ He poured the eggs into the pan as they sizzled.

‘Tank ‘ou daddeh. Wuv daddeh, hewp Awex su muchies. Nu know wai, buh nebah fowget. Wuv housie, wuv Fenwiwr, wan Fenwiwr be bestes’ fwen—Onwy bestes’ fwen.’ Alex tried to stress that last point. Here’s hoping Mark didn’t catch on, fluffies’ abilities at secret-keeping notoriously underdeveloped. The preoccupation of plating the eggs was enough, however.

‘Don’t worry about it bud. I just couldn’t leave you like that, and since I’ve been with you, you’ve seemed like a good fluffy who came from a bad place. You can talk to me if you need to, okay?’ Mark sat down at the table, pulling out another chair across from Alex. Two plates before them, he slid one to Alex. Cautiously, he sniffed at it, still quite warm. The steam caused him to jump a bit.

Mark chuckled. ‘You can let it cool a bit. Don’t want to eat it if it’s too hot, you’ll burn your mouth.’ Naturally, the rule applies not only to fluffies. Alex sat back a bit, and after a minute tried taking a bite. It was safe to eat at that point, and quite good. Mark decided to try some small talk.

‘So, what was it like where you were before? I can’t get it out of my head, it bothers me to think what might have happened there.’

‘Nu wan wememba, daddeh. Awex am sowwy.’ He slowly resumed eating, but the worried and sad expression was clear on his face. Mark felt immediately bad for even thinking to ask.

‘You’re right Alex, don’t be sorry. I’m sorry. I should have realised you wouldn’t want to talk about it. But you can tell me anything, I promise I will listen.’

'Un’stan daddeh, tank ‘ou’ Alex muttered out, still concerned that he couldn’t really tell daddy everything. Humans, despite how nice his daddy seemed to be, were not to be trusted fully. They were meaner than the meanest fluffies, and gave the worst heart hurties.

As both of them finished, Mark grabbed his morning coffee. With a quick blow before taking a sip, he turned to Alex, still on the chair. ‘Would you like to sit with me on the sofa for a bit?’ He had some emails to deal with, then it’d probably be time for Fenrir to wake. He made sure to save some omelette for him to warm up later.

‘Otay daddeh’ Alex said, getting up. After a while of lying on his back, Mark rubbing his stomach fluff, Fenrir finally woke up.

‘Daddeh? Awex?’ he called from the safe room. Placing the laptop to his side, he and Alex got up to open the gate for Fenrir who enthusiastically leapt onto Alex, giving him a big lick on the cheek. 'Awex! Am ‘ou otay? Feew beddah nao? Gud sweepies?’

‘Y-yus! Gud, gud sweepies!’ Alex stuttered, nervously. But his swishing tail gave away his own happiness at the affection. After Fenrir ate, the three settled in for a long day of reacclimation, with Fenrir happily showing Alex every inch of the house—the best toys, the best spots to play, nap, and all about the things daddy would tell him. He was the image of jubilation, and Alex was just along for the ride. Mark was thoroughly pleased, knowing now that Alex would be a fantastic addition, one that would really keep Fenrir in high spirits.

Now a couple of weeks later, Mark was impressed to see how Alex filled out. Long gone was the gaunt, sickly form he presented during the first days of his arrival. The two fluffies seemed to be getting along great, and Alex seemed to dote on Fenrir like a little brother, Fenrir happy to oblige. Mark couldn’t be happier. He phoned Dr. Green to let him know how much better he was, much relieved to hear it, too. His visits to FluffCare with Dr. Neustadt, too, went just fine. The medication seemed to be allowing him to be healthy, and now all he had to worry about it were the normal concerns of any pet guardian. Or so he thought.

Even from that very night when Alex was panicking internally about his feelings, the one thing neither Alex nor Mark knew, was that Fenrir had fallen from that first delicate, loving embrace. Alex had told him how pretty he was, he’d never had a fluffy do that before. It was so special to him, and he saw, too, that Alex was quite pretty. As he grew better and better, it became all the more so. He was big, strong, and he was his best friend ever.

Even as a colt, Fenrir noticed he didn’t really see pretty mares. FluffTV taught him about special huggies, about babbehs. He knew already, though, that babbehs came from what he saw on FluffTV’s education shows—Who thought those were a good idea? The images of his mother using a stallion as a means for another pregnancy right after losing her whole litter were seared into Fenrir’s memory.

But, though he loved babbehs, he knew they could be hurt by big fluffies. He saw all the fluffies in the vet who had been hurt, wounded. He saw babbehs there too. And he knew what his mummah did to him and his siblings, leaving them to fend for themselves, all the while only caring about her ‘bestes’ babbeh’. He knew he could never be like that as a daddeh. The one thing he was sure of was that he would love all his babbehs. But, he realised too, stallions couldn’t have babbehs. How could he have babbehs if he wanted pretty stallions? Eventually his daddy asked him if he wanted babies. All he could do was answer what his heart told him, that he didn’t really know. It was hard to think about, very confusing.

Since he met Alex, though, he knew that he loved Alex. And Alex somehow always made his body act strange, his heart raced, his no-nos felt funny too. Maybe this meant he wanted him as a speshul fwend. He wasn’t really sure, but each time he got really close to Alex, Alex would get nervous and act funny. This worried him, but Alex told him he was his bestes’ fwend too, and he always hugged him back, and said he loved him. This made him happy for a while, but one night as they went to bed, he felt really lonely. He shouldn’t feel lonely with Alex! He knew that. Maybe he was being silly?


No, as happy as he was being Alex’s bestes’ fwend, he knew he wanted more.

He lie awake, thinking on this for what seemed like many forevers, Alex asleep in his own bed. Fenrir watched him lying there, breathing softly in his sleep. The sight warmed Fenrir’s heart, and the desire to be next to him pent up until he couldn’t bear it anymore. Building up the courage, he forced himself out of his bed and quietly, softly crept into Alex’s bed. Trying to be unassuming, he just lay as close as he could be, hoping not to awaken Alex. To his surprise, Alex reached around him with his legs, and pulled him close. His heart began to pound, but it felt so nice. He felt a gulp in his throat, and turned his eyes away from Alex’s face, nuzzling into his neck.

‘Fenwiwr?’ Oh no. Alex woke up! Fenrir felt really worried for a moment.

‘Awex, yus, am sowwy. Fewt… scawwed.’

That wasn’t right.

‘Nu, am not twue.’ He held onto Alex tightly, trying to work up the courage, but he didn’t know how to say it.

‘Fewt… wonewy. Missed Awex, Fenwiwr wan be wid Awex…’

Alex began to feel his heart speeding up, wondering if this is what it could possibly be. Surely not.

‘Awex am wite hewe Fenwiwr. Nu wowwies.’ He tried to think nothing of it, merely continuing to hold onto Fenrir who seemed to want to press deeper into his chest.

Fenrir didn’t have the same experiences as Alex. He didn’t know of any reason why he shouldn’t want to love a stallion. Still, his own apprehension came from the questioning of whether Alex would feel the same way. The love of a bestes’ fwend he thought would be enough. But lately he was unsure, and his now adult body was biologically looking for an outlet and the release it wanted. That same difference in their backgrounds led to his relative lack of inhibition as well. Feeling his no-nos press into his stomach, Alex felt that Fenrir indeed was… interested. It was becoming too hard to resist.

Fenrir continued. ‘Awex…’ Alex gulped. ‘Y-yus?’ ‘Fenwiwr wan Awex be speshul fwend.’ He nuzzled deeply into his neck fluff.

There it was. Oh, why was Fenrir making it so hard—Difficult!—Well, that too, but still.

‘Buh Fenwiwr! Awex am stawwion. Weewy wan stawwion Awex be speshul fwen?’ Yes, maybe reminding him of that would work!

Fenrir sighed, clutching tighter. ‘Fenwiwr know, Awex am su pwetty, make Fenwiwr hab su much hawt happies.’

It didn’t work! Oh no, no. It was truly becoming so difficult to resist. Up to now, Alex had put his own feelings into a corner, thinking there’s no way it would even happen, and even if it did it could be very bad! Daddy could be very mad. His mind was torn, on the one hoof his mind knew he loved Fenrir so much. On the other hoof, he knew he didn’t want to hurt Fenrir, and didn’t want himself to hurt either—his past experience telling him that if he went down this path it would be very bad.

Still it was there, how happy he felt to hear it, how good it felt for Fenrir to be so close to him, feeling his entire body clung tightly to his own. After what seemed like many forevers, neither of them moving, merely breathing and holding on to each other, Alex finally blurted it out.

‘Awex wan! Wuv Fenwiwr, wan speshul fwen. Yus!’ He couldn’t fight it. It was too much, and Fenrir wanted it too. Now all he could hope was that daddy wouldn’t know, or that he wouldn’t be mad.

‘Weewy? Awex wiww be Fenwiwr speshul fwend?’ Fenrir pulled his head away to look into Alex’s eyes, his own beaming with joy.

Alex, finally beginning to lose some of that anxiety, smiled softly. ‘Yus, weewy. Awways wub Fenwiwr su muchies.’ He nuzzled him again, the two pressing up against one other longingly.

That night, there indeed were special huggies. Alex’s past experience coming into play here, he felt finally that good feeling he was hitherto denied without the anguish of the bad that he would be doomed to inflict, and have inflicted upon himself, too. True, not all was the bestest feels, learning to take some of the discomfort with the knowledge of the happiness both of them shared. After many minutes of this, they both cuddled up, Fenrir cradled by Alex. The sight was like a dream to him. Never had he imagined he could have a special friend, or such a happy life. That moment of dreaming was interrupted, however, by the nagging feeling that he needed to warn Fenrir.

He let him lie wrapped up in his legs for several minutes, cozy, cooing. But he realised he had to tell him to be careful. ‘Fenwiwr, speshul fwen?’ he called.


‘Fenwiwr know Awex wuv su muchies. Buh, hoomins nu wike wen fwuffies hab speshul fwens dey dun wan. Wowwy if daddeh know, wiww be su maddies, won wuv Awex ow Fenwiwr nu mowe.’

Fenrir was shocked to hear this. He couldn’t even fathom his daddy not loving him. Why would Alex say this?

‘Wuh? Wai daddeh be maddies? Daddeh ask Fenwiwr befow if wan babbehs—speshul fwend. Teww daddeh nu suwe. Buh nao know wan Awex!’ He turned around, and hugged Alex again.

‘Buh Fenwiwr, Awex wowwy. Had fwuffy fwens befow, tink den wan be speshul fwen. Nu know Fenwiwr den, nao know wan Fenwiwr be speshul fwen. Buh wen teww hoomins nu wan huwt speshul fwen, dey wewe su maddies, huwt Awex.’

Fenrir couldn’t believe it. 'Weewy? Dat make Fenwiwr hawt huwties. Nu wan Awex be huwt. Wai wan huwt fwuffies? Daddeh nebah huwt Fenwiwr, daddeh wuv, wuv ‘ou too speshul fwend.’

Fenrir was confident, but Alex was still quite unsure. ‘Pwease, dun teww daddeh, teww Awex if wan teww daddeh otay?’

Sighing, but wanting to be sure that Alex was happy, Fenrir relented. ‘Otay Awex, wuv. Wiww teww Awex befow daddeh, pwomise.’

Feeling finally at ease, the two drifted off to sleep, content in their newfound love.

Several days later, Mark was busy typing some replies on his laptop. Casually, he’d glance up at the two playing, kicking the ball to each other across the room. He smiled, it seemed very usual.

‘Oh, Fenwiwr nee gu make poopies, Awex. Den pway mowe.’

‘Otay, Fenwiwr!’

Mark looked up, sure enough Fenrir sauntered to the litter box. But he was walking a bit odd. He noticed him give a bit of a wince as he used it. He finished, and went back towards Alex, but Mark was concerned. He hoped Fenrir wasn’t getting sick, or didn’t have some underlying problem he didn’t notice until now.

He got up, figuring he’d ask Fenrir. Maybe he was thinking too much on it, fluffies after all being notoriously sensitive to discomfort. It never hurt to be doubly sure, though.

He tapped on Fenrir’s shoulder, once again he was throwing the ball towards Alex. ‘Yus daddeh?’

‘Hey are you feeling okay, buddy? You looked like it hurt when you went to the litter box.’

‘Nu, jus widdew. Am fwum speshul huggies, nu used to speshul huggies.’

Ah, right.



Alex’s jaw dropped. Immediately he began to panic, and started to back away towards the corner of the room. Mark turned his eye immediately at him. Quickly, Fenrir began to realise he gave it away. Mark was furious. He was sure Alex seemed like a good fluffy. Was he wrong?

‘Alex. I brought you into this home knowing what happened to you in that mill. I trusted you, you spent all this time with Fenrir. I thought you cared about him, and you do that to him?’

‘Yus daddeh, know! Nu huwt Fenwiwr, pwomiss! Wuv Fenwiwr!’

‘Don’t give me that shit. You raped him? Don’t tell me about love if you do something like that. He’s not one of the mares at the mill! You shouldn’t use him like that!’

Mark began making threatening strides towards him, now cornered against the wall with nowhere to run. Tears began to stream down his Alex’s face, sobbing, full of fear. He knew this would happen. Wai, Fenwiwr? Nu teww daddeh! 'ou sed! Speshul fwen wai!

But then, Mark felt something against his legs, stopping him. Looking down, he saw Fenrir glaring up at him. It was a sight he never saw before, never had he seen him look so stern—even angry. It gave him pause.

He waited, and Fenrir began to speak.

‘Nu daddeh. Nu be meanies to Awex. Awex am speshul fwend. Fenwiwr wuv Awex!’
Mark was taken aback. ‘But Fenrir, how can you say that? He’s doing that to you!’

‘Fenwiwr know. Fenwiwr wike Awex speshul huggies. Fenwiwr awso gib bestest speshul huggies to Awex.’

Mark turned to look at Alex.

Mute, Alex simply nodded, mouth still gaping.

Was this really true? Mark was incredibly surprised at this. ‘You two… you’re… but you’re both stallions. I don’t understand. I thought you’d both want mares.’

Fenrir was resolute. ‘Nu want mawe. Fenwiwr wike stawwions, wan Awex.’ His gaze was very imposing, even in his diminutive stature. Mark felt the anger melting away. Perhaps he was mistaken.

‘Alex, do you want Fenrir, too? Do you love him?’ Mark turned to Alex again, his face becoming sterner once more. Alex may have become his family now too, but Fenrir was his child he raised. He’d be damned if he allowed him to be hurt by someone else.

Mustering up some ability to speak again, still quite afraid, Alex gave a terse, but affirmative ‘Y-yus! Wuv Fenwiwr, daddeh. Wan Fenwiwr too!’

Looking back and forth at the two of them, Mark slumped over on the floor, sitting down on his knees. He motioned them both to come close. Alex was wary, but he didn’t dare disobey right now. Sitting next to Fenrir in front of their daddy, the two fluffs were prepared to hear what Mark had to say.

Sighing, Mark began. ‘Look, I apologise. I didn’t know, I assumed you were forcing him.’

Alex couldn’t believe it. A human wasn’t mad? His daddy was saying sowwy? He was confused.

Mark continued. ‘You two, I just want you both to be happy. And you both are?’ Again he glanced between the two.

Both of them answered ‘Yus! Happies!’, Fenrir placing his hoof over Alex’s, drawing a surprised but softened look from both Mark and Alex.

‘Well, now that I know about this’ Mark began, ‘I want to make one thing clear. I’m fine with this under one condition. Think of this as my #1 rule—the only rule regarding this.’

‘Wuwe?’ Fenrir asked, puzzled.

‘Yes’ Mark continued, ‘Both of you have to promise that you won’t give unwanted special huggies, okay?’

For Alex, this was something he didn’t even have to think about. He’d been forced so many times, the mere thought made him sick.

‘Pwomiss, daddeh!’ he quickly answered.

Fenrir, too, replied. ‘Ub cowse daddeh, onwy hab if wan speshul huggies. If nu wan nao, awways teww.’

‘Good. That’s all I wanted to hear.’ Mark sighed once more. This was not something he was expecting.

The two fluffs were breathing sighs of relief.

Mark took a moment before getting up. ‘Okay, you two can go back to playing if you want. I’ll make some dinner, I think I need some time away from my emails.’ Hearing dinner, the two just contently replied ‘otay daddeh’.

Leaving them to their own devices, Mark decided to scurry off to the kitchen. He needed some time to adjust to the knowledge. Could fluffies really be gay? I never even considered this. You always hear about them fucking and breeding to kingdom come, causing all of these ferals littering the streets. But here these two are…

He recalled his own experiences growing up, the handful of times he’d been with a guy, his various girlfriends as well. But lately, he began to wonder whether he even wanted a relationship. Maybe someday, but right now? Here he was, single again. Yet it wasn’t so bad, having company at home. Perhaps he could take a break from the relationship game for a while. Never mind all that.

He came back from his idle pondering, back to his present concern. Then it came to him, he recalled Dr. Neustadt telling him about a fluffy researcher named… something Mehta? He typed in a Google search. Ah, yes—Jay Mehta - Pioneering Researcher of Fluffy Psychology. Sounds fancy.

Perhaps he had something published he could look into regarding this. It might give him more insight into what fluffies even think or feel—and to what degree. It did seem he had some papers written. Perhaps he’d give those a read soon. Oh! He even had interviews, and the videos are on YouTube? Mark knew he’d have to give one or two a look after putting his two boys to bed. Though now he realised what they might be doing—no—he didn’t want to think about it. Them showing it on FluffTV was uncomfortable enough.

And, one uncomfortable dinner later (at least for Mark), he left them in their safe room. He stayed to watch a minute as they got in bed, noticing Fenrir curling up between Alex’s legs in the same bed. He wondered if they always slept together, now. Perhaps he’d get them a bigger bed they could share.

Am I getting sentimental in my old age?

Mark shook the thought out of his head. Now it was time to check out these interviews. He was incredibly curious about what this researcher had to say. Typing in ‘Fluffy sexuality’, indeed there turned up many hits for videos. Mehta’s video was one of the most watched.

As good a place to start as any.

He tapped.

Next Chapter: Chapter XI


Yep. You’re definitely more generous with your writing and pacing. I’m pretty sure if I wrote this it’d be a third of the size with far less connectable moments for the readers.

I’m not sure at what point I started wondering about Alex, and for a bit I was worried it was more due to trauma from the mill. He seemed too empathetic for what he was doing. Then Fenrir with his experiences.

So, now I await the next chapter. Mark makes a good stand in for the typical reader here who is used to two males engaged sexually meaning “victim” and “victimizer.” So I’m curious to see where you go with this.

Everything seems well handled, but I’m also fairly lucky in that my life hadn’t had a tenth of the problems and drama that other people’s have. I’ve been very fortunate to have living friends and family. So I speak from naivety and as an outsider to the experiences being shown/referenced here.

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In my head Alex is very unknowledgeable about the world in general. He was locked up in that mill his whole life and knew nothing else. His trauma relates to what he knows, and for him it’s really important to not hurt another fluffy the way he was hurt and hurt others before. It’s sort of a preoccupation for him, to think back about sexual violence and how much it pains him.

Fenrir on the other hand, while being more knowledgeable about the world is similar naïve but for different reasons. His experience with his family left him with the impression that he had to compensate going forward, that other fluffies couldn’t all be like his mother, and that if he’s really nice people will treat him like Mark does. Finding Alex doesn’t really help that.

Mark, yeah. He’s sort of a well-wishing person who has no clue. Somehow he lucked out with these two, but nothing’s ever that easy. He’s learning along the way, and he’s open minded. He looks forward more than back, despite his profession. Lately I’ve figured that this change in his life having fluffies has led him to contemplate a lot of things he thought were what he knew might not be so sure after all.

Also, there’s definitely no victim between Alex and Fenrir. They’re both loving and happy with their relationship.


You made that quite clear, which is good :slightly_smiling_face:



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