We are like people at a wayside station,
Waiting between trains, or between planes.
We attend the cinema, consult our watches.
We sit down and stretch our legs, stare at the skylight.
We buy a paper and read it without comprehending.
Noticing the whistles blowing, the crowds coming and going,
We listen for the porter to call sonorously the panel of destinations.
Decorously the clock ticks; we await the roar of the transport.
-Helen Goldbaum
The herd looked at the strange fluffy that had just stumbled into their nesting area. The gray dressed-up fluffy was tired and panting, but he glared at each of them with intensity.
“Hu am ‘ou?” A sitting purple one said.
There were only five of them. A big purple earthie, a blue unicorn, a white unicorn mare, a green pegasus, and a poopie in the back.
“Am ‘ou nyu Fuhwew!” The Smarty said, strutting forward into their territory. The purple one rose and stepped forward to stop him.
“Wat am Fuhwew? Dat am namie?”
The Smarty snorted, “Namie am Fwuffdowf Hitwah! Hitwah am Fuhwew! Fuhwew am dah bestest ob smawties!”
“Smawty?” He said. “Hewd aweady hab smawty. Fwuffy am smawty!”
The rest of the herd stood and began to back away. Except the green pegasus, who stood and approached.
“Wan Tuffy tu gib huwties, Smawty weadah?” He asked the purple one.
“Yes.” The purple smarty said, looking back at the gray one.
“’OU NU GIB FUHWEW HUWTIES!” The Smarty shouted so loud and sudden the herd jumped back.
“FUHWEW AM BESTEST SMAWTY! AM SMAWTEST FWUFFY! AM BWAVEST FWUFFY! AM STWONGEST FWUFFY!”
“Weawy?” The white mare said. The unicorn behind her looked on with interest, while the poopie backed further away.
“FUHWEW AM POINTIE-FWUFFY! AN’ POINTIE-FWUFFIES AM BESTEST FWUFFIES!”
“Wai’…” The blue unicorn said. “Miwes am pointie-fwuffy!”
“Shaddup Miwes.” The pegasus said.
“’Ou gu way wite nao!” The purple smarty bluntly told the invader. “Ow get huwties!”
The Smarty only growled, and punched his purple enemy in the face, knocking him to the ground.
“NU CAN HUWT FUHWEW HITWAH! ‘OU AM DUMMEH NU-POINTIE WACE!”
The green pegasus was ready to pounce, but was hit in the side. The blue unicorn named Miles rammed into him, driving him down.
“Scwee! Huwties!”
The Pegasus felt a sharp pain in his side where the unicorn’s horn had hit. Too blunt to break his skin, but strong enough to make a fragile fluffy’s body hurt.
Miles lowered his head and rammed him again. The pegasus scrambled up and ran, crying.
“Tuffy!” The Purple smarty shouted after it. He looked back to his herd. The gray smarty in the weird uniform stood triumphantly, the blue unicorn next to him.
After a moment of hesitation, he too bolted.
“Yay!” The blue unicorn named Miles cheered. “Hewd hab nyu smawty!”
The Smarty looked down to him. "Namie am Fwuffdowf Hitwah! An’ ‘ou wiww caww Hitwah FUHWEW! Cuz Fuhwew am da best ob smawties!”
Miles backed up slightly, “Sowwy Sma- Fuhwew Hitwah. So ‘cited Fuhwew say Miwes am bestest wace!”
“’Ou awe bestest wace!” The Fuhrer said, “Pointie-fwuffies wike us am da smawtest an’ bestest!”
“Oo! Fuhwew Hitwah su smawt! Miwes be Fuhwew’s tuffie pweaaaaase?” Miles said.
“Hm…” The Fuhrer looked him up and down. His fluff was blue, and his mane was red, not a spot of poopie on him. It was about time he started assembling his tuffies.
“’Ou wiww be fiwst ob Fuhwew’s tuffies!” The Fuhrer said.
“Yay!” Miles ran in a circle. “Miwes wuv being tuffie!”
“’Ou namie nu Miwes nu mowe!” The Fuhrer said.
“Wa-“ Miles stopped. “Buh owd daddeh gib Miwes namie.”
“FUHWEW SAY ‘OU GET NWU NAMIE! NU AWGUE WIF FUHWEW!” He yelled back.
Miles shrieked and sat. “Okay, Fuhwew…”
“Hmm…” The Smarty thought back to all the names the two teenagers had taught him, and settled on one.
“’Ou nyu namie am Himmwah.”
The blue unicorn looked up, “Nyu namie… Himmwah?”
“’Ou am Himmwah nao. Himmwah wiww be da won to get wid ob all da bad fwuffies! Aww da nu-pointie nu-wingie fwuffies, aww da wingie-fwuffies, an ‘speshawy aww da poopies!”
“Wike Daniew?” Himmler said, looking to the poopie fluffy who’d been hiding in the background.
“Wike Daniew an’ aww odah poopie fwuffies! Poopies am bad fwuffies dat du bad fings to pointie-fwuffies! Gu get wid ob Daniew!”
“Ye’ Fuhwew!” Himmler said excitedly, and went chasing after Daniel.
The Fuhrer smiled and sat, reveling in his effortless success. He was destined for great things, he knew. One day he would get rid of all fluffies that weren’t pointy, and rule the world.
“Su… namie am Hitwah?”
It was the white mare that had watched the entire thing unfold.
“Namie am Hitwah. But am Fuhwew!” The Fuhrer said, “Am bestest ob aww smawties!”
“’Ou weawwy?” She said. “’Ou gib Miwes nyu namie? Fwuffy nebah hab namie.”
The Fuhrer looked at her. She was a white unicorn, with a dirty but curled yellow mane and blue eyes. He smiled.
“Ou nyu namie am… Eba.”
“Eba wub nyu namie!” Eva said. “’Ou wan be speshaw fwiend?”
“Hitwah du wan be speshaw fwiend.” The Fuhrer said.
They had many special huggies that night, but unknown to them both, Hitler had been spayed during his time at the fluffmart. Yet with that the romance of Hitler and Eva was born, and so too would the Fluff Reich come to be.