You just finished putting together your brand new saferoom! You’ve got a bed, food dishes, blockies, a ball, a blankie, a stuffy friend, a nightlight and a small portable TV tuned to Fluff TV.
All you need now is a fluffy.
You’ve been interested in them for some time, but after finally getting a well-deserved raise, you decided you could finally afford the luxuries of pet ownership.
You didn’t want to screw this up, so you made sure to do a lot of research. From what you read, you knew you didn’t want to snag a feral—too likely to have disease, and you really didn’t know anything about them. You’d heard some horror stories about breeders and pet shops so you knew to stay clear of them.
You thought about picking one up from a shelter, but… you wanted a foal. You wanted the full experience of raising a fluffy from babyhood to adulthood.
You decided a while ago: When it came time to get your own fluffy, you were going to get a foal in a can.
You drove down to the store, to pick one up. When you found the foal in a can section, you were surprised to see that the cans didn’t quite look like you’d pictured in your head. (Almost immediately upon beginning fluffy research, you discovered that fluffy abusers, emboldened by the vague laws regarding genetic engineering, took advantage of the fact that cruelty laws didn’t apply to fluffies, and took video and photographs of their activities… so traumatized you were, you decided to turn off images while browsing while looking up information on fluffies lest you stumble upon any more of these disturbing images.)
Still, the label featured a picture of a happy, smiling foal, so you take it to the checkout.
You hand the clerk the $3.99 (seems awfully expensive for a foal in a can from what you’d heard but, well, what’s a couple bucks), and excitedly rush home.
You run into the new saferoom as quickly as you’re able and you open up the can and pour out your new pal!
Instead, a mixture of chopped meat, dingy water and globs of fat plop out on the floor.
Damn, you really gotta start paying more attention.