FUNNY FACE
You’re a fluffy pony!
And your daddy even says you’re a pretty clever fella!
Silly daddy!
Your name is Sparks!
Your daddy loves you, but he doesn’t like one thing that you do.
He doesn’t seem to understand that you know where there’s special yummy salty nummies!
It’s…
Get ready for this…
IN YOUR NOSIE ALL THIS TIME!
Daddy thinks this is disgusting.
You’re not sure what this means, but you know it’s bad.
But how could something so good be bad?
Still… you want to be a good fluffy.
Daddy said it’s something called the “noo yeer”
And that people make… resoolooshuns at the noo yeer.
Daddy says it’s a promise to yourself to do something or not do something.
That’s silly, making a promise to yourself.
But Daddy said he was gonna try to stop the paper sticky things from going all burny in his mouth.
And he said you should resoolooshuns to stop eating your nosie candy!
…
You don’t get why you’d make that promise to yourself, but Daddy wants you to so you will.
It’s hard going though.
Your tongue can get right up in there!
“Daddeh… how Spawks nu eat nosie candy?”
“Well, whenever you think about it, try thinking of something else.”
“…o…tay?”
And then you thought of the nosie candy!
But… oh, oh… there’s your toy bear!
But… BUT BEARY HAS A NOSIE!!
NUUUUUUUUU!!
“Daddeh!! Nu wok!! Beawy hab nosie! Wan nosie candy!!”
“Another thing you can do is try to make it difficult to get to. I’ve thrown my cigarettes on top of the refrigerator where I can’t reach!”
“…o…o…tay…”
You toddle off to your saferoom to give this some more thought.
Stupid nosie!
If it weren’t there, you wouldn’t have to worry about it!
Wait…
If your nosie weren’t there…
You got it!
You sit back on your poopie place and put your head down and grab your nosie with your hoofsies!
And you pull…
And you pull…
And you pull…
And it pops right off!
Yaaaay!
You’re about to go hide it, when you look in the mirror.
“NUUU!! MUNSTA!! NUUU… waaait… dat Spawks! Siwwy Spawks! But Spawks wook wike munsta wit nu nosie…”
You think…
And you think…
And you think…
and you get an idea!
Your weggies look kinda like nosies!
So you grab one of your front weggies with your mouth and pull…
And pull…
And pull…
And it pops right off!
You put it down on the floor and push your face into it, and it pops right in place!
You look up in the mirror…
Dashing!
So now, you need a weggie… and if a weggie looks like a nosie, then a nosie must look like a weggie!
So you push your nosie up, and push down with the spot where the weggie was, and it too clicks right into place!
Yaaaay!
Time to play ball!
Or maybe blockies!
You waddle over to your toybox…
…but it’s slow going.
Your new nosie-weggie is a bit too short…
AND it keeps leaking boo-boo juice on the floor!
This is no good at all…
So you pull your weggie-nosie back off and your nosie-weggie back off, and put the weggie back so it’s a weggie-weggie again!
But that’s still no good…
And ALL THIS ABOUT NOSIES IS MAKING YOU WANT CANDY AGAIN!
NUUUUUUUUU!!!
You better think of a plan and fast!
You don’t know how long you can hold out!
You’re not strong like Daddy!
Daddy…
Waaait…
Daddy has weird fluff on his face…
He calls it a mus-dash!
It kinda looks like a tail!
THAT’S IT!
So you set your nosie down again and start pulling on your tail…
It’s harder going.
You’ve got to roll yourself up like a ball the best you can.
Hee!
Balls are fun!
No!
Focus!
You grab your tail and you pull…
…and you pull…
and you pulll…
And it finally pops off! Yaaay!
You put it in where your nosie was.
It tickles a bit, but when you look in the mirror, you think there’s another fluffy there who looks very dapper.
Then you realize that fluffy is you!
Then you realize that you don’t know what dapper means.
But it sure seems to fit.
So, with that… you figure that with your nosie as your new tail, you won’t even be able to REACH the nosie candy anyway!
So you set up the nosie and sit on it!
It pops back into place…
…except…
You sniff.
And you sniff.
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
ALL YOU CAN SMELL IS POOPIES!!!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
You scramble as best you can to pull off your nosie-tail.
It’s very difficult as it’s even shorter than your tail-tail was.
But you gotta get rid of the poopie smell!
It’s SOOOOOO not pretty!
By some stroke of luck, you get a grasp on your nosie-tail and pull it off.
You also pull off your tail-nosie, and put that back.
Bye bye, dapper Sparks.
But it’s worth it to not smell poopies.
But you’re still with the trouble of the nosie.
At least right now you’re almost sickies from the bad poopies smell.
So you have no desire to eat anything, let alone the good nosie candy.
You look around your saferoom to see if you can figure something out.
You…
YOU GOT IT!
You find an old cup and ball set and you put the cup where your nosie was.
PERFECT!
You come out of the saferoom to show Daddy how good you are!
You’re carrying your old nosie in your mouth, but with the candy-holes away so he doesn’t think you’re breaking your resoolooshun promise to yourself!
That’s what a bad fluffy would do!
And you’re a good fluffy!
You try so hard!
You spit out your nosie at Daddy’s feet.
“Daddeh put Spawks nosie wit burny paper stickies on top of fwigidata?”
Your daddy looks at you.
You look at him.
“Whu? Spawks duu wat daddeh say an make nosie candy hawd tu get tuu! Spawks guu fwuffy! Spawks duu wesoowooshuwn!”
“Uh… yes. That is good. But… you know what? If it was this hard for you, maybe you should be able to eat the candy. Just don’t do it while I watch, OK?”
“OTAY! Spawks hab nosie back den?”
“…sure.”
You pull off the cup and pop your old nosie back in place!
Nuu yeer is a fun time but it sure is strange!
