Soo… I tried posting yesterday but somehow I fucked it up bc of my general incompetence toward basic tasks and the site swallowed my post.
This is my first time posting here. I came from reddit about 2 months ago and I love it here so here is my rendition of a failed home invasion I guess.
Enjoy.
Or don’t bc I missed a rule or something. I apologize in Advance if thats the case but let’s just see how this turns out.
You generally don’t like sitting outside on the patio but today you thought you’d take some time off and sit down on a lawn chair with some beer and cigarettes. Maybe even light a fire in the fitepit later. Unfortunately, it seems the big sky daddeh had other plans for you tonight.
The first signs of this plan come just 10 minutes later and take the form of some loud rustling in the neatly trimmed hedges surrounding the garden. After the noises repeat, you decide to investigate, kneeling down by the hedge. You spot an orange fluffy fighting it’s way through the hedge. When it finally reaches your end of the hedge, it looks around a bit before noticing you. Then it immediately puffs its cheeks and begins pounding the floor with its forehoofs. “Dummeh hoomin! dis smawty wand nao!”, it says, “Gu way ow gib bestest sketties an housies an toysies fow smawty an hewd” Just then, two more stallions, presumably his toughies stumble out of the hedge rather unelegantly. A quick inspection of the space behind the hedge reveals the herd that this smarty and his toughies are leading. You smile. Even though you already think it is going to be a pretty nice evening, these fluffies just made it one hell of a lot better. “Hey you little rascal”, you smile a bit more at the fluffy, “What a nice herd you’ve got. How about I go fix you guys something to eat and you make yourselves comfortable” Immediately the whole herd goes into the usual “Nyu daddeh? Wuv nyu daddeh!” talk and they begin hopping around excitedly. You stand back up and gesture the fluffies to follow you. Realizing that your smile is getting a bit sadistic, you quickly hide it while you lead the fluffies into your garden shed, shepherding them through the door like a flock of sheep into a slaughterhouse. When you slam the door shut afterwards some of the fluffies jump and release scaredy-poopies. “Wai mistuh make woud noisies?”, one asks, “Nu wike” You grin as you lock the door to the shed. “Loud noises are going to be the least of your problems in a minute” The fluffies look confused. “Wha mistuh mean?” You take a moment to enjoy their absolute confusion before picking the smarty up by it’s neck, aiming the stream of shit onto the assembled herd. “Bad upsies!”, the smarty declares, “wet gu nao!” You hesitate for a moment. “No”, you simply say. Instead, you put him down gently onto a workbench. Holding him down with one hand, you grab a wooden board and some tape. After you’ve taped the smarty down by its legs you turn the board so he is facing the herd. “Wet smawty g…” You cut him off with a flick to the snout. “No you don’t. You are going to watch as I abuse the hell out of your herd and you are going to keep your little piehole shut or I’m going to leave you to the neighbors bawkie munstah” When the smarty hears this his eyes grow in fear and he goes silent. You nod, satisfied with the result and turn back to the herd. The herd had watched you strap the smarty down and was now mumbling things like “Munstah!” or “Wai mistuh huwt smawty?” They had also worked their little asses off (get it?) covering the ground in more scaredy-poopies. You pick out your first victim and carry it to the workbench. When you turn around to get a cleaver from the wall shelf, the fluffy (a mare) jumps back off the workbench. “You shitrat! Come here!” You leap for the fluffy, grabbing it and lifting it up. “Pwease nu huwt fwuffy… Fwuffy sowwy buh nu noa wha du wong… huu huu…” You shake it. “You ain’t done anything wrong!”, you say. Before it can respond, you throw it up into the air and lift the cleaver. Then you throw the cleaver, impaling the fluffy and sending it onto the opposite wall. It slides down due to its bodyweight and rips itself open in the process, creating a bloody, mutilated hole in its side. It falls to the ground with a wet plop. The other fluffies sit in silence, shocked and unable to move (That is all except the fluffies that were carpet bombed with shit by the flying mare. They are huu huuing about alleged “Sorry poopies”) Amazingly, the mare is still alive, breathing heavily. You step over the others to get to her and pull the bloody cleaver out of the wall. “Now then”, you say, “Has anyone got any regrets yet about dropping in here uninvited?”
Silence.
You laugh. “Well I guess I’m gonna have to…” You trail off when something catches your eye. Another mare to be exact. She is very pregnant and she is showing clear signs of going into labor. A stallion rushes over and starts hugging her. “Fwuffy tink babbehs cummin”, the mare says, “Am soon-mummah” You realize what the mare just said and you start grinning so much that you feel like your face is about to crack. Still grinning, you walk over to the pregnant mare, but the stallion leaps in front of her. He is trembling, but manages to stand his ground. “Meanie dummeh munstah hoomin. Nu huwt speciaw fwend! Fwuffy gon gib yu wowstest sowwy hoofsies” Before he can though, you pick him up and lift him up to your face “Things are about to get reeal interesting and you won’t do a thing about it” With that, you throw the fluffy out of the one small window the shed has as hard as you can. It flies onto the road outside, instantly dead from the impact. Then, you pick up the mare who starts screaming impossibly loud.
PWEEEEAASEE NU HUWT FWUFFY! HUU HUUUU AM SOON-MUMMAH AN NEE HUGGIES AN NUMMIES FO TUMMEH BABBEHS! FWUFFY PWOMISE BE GUD FWUFFY FO NICE MISTUH
SKREEEEEEEE!!
“RELAX! Relax!”, you try to look reassuring, “I wont hurt you” Instead, you hold the fluffy above your head. “Weawwy?”, the Fluffy asks. Unfortunately, before you can respond, the mare realizes what is happening and starts screaming again
NUUU! TUMMEH BABBEHS NU CUM OUT PWEASE! STAY IN TUMMEH! IT NOT TIME YET
It’s too late though. Despite the mares efforts she releases a torrent of liquid shit before one by one, her foals slide out and fall to the floor where they are instantly killed or severely hurt. The ones that are still alive start chirping in distress at their injuries and their mummahs absence. You are still grinning, savoring the collective pain in the shed. It fills you with adrenaline. Suddenly, the mare starts violently wiggling around in your grip. With tears in her eyes she cries “Wet mummah go! Mummah sabe babbehs!”. You consider throwing her out of the window aswell but you have a better idea. “Okay, here you go” You drop the fluffy right onto her foals, doubting that they’ll cushion her fall. She immediately clambers down from the pile of foals, inspecting them for survivors.
They’re all dead.
The mare takes a moment to process this before collapsing on the ground, huu huuing quietly to herself. “Am mummah nu moah”, she sobs, “Wowstest day ebah. Wan die. Am wowstest mummah in da whowe foweba” You kick the mare into the wall with force. “Yes you are. How dare you let all your foals die like that” You belittle her some more and when you are finished you turn around to pick up another fluffy. A stallion this time. He doesn’t scream which is probably just as well for him, but he still poops on the rest of the herd. It is then that you realize that none of the herd really said anything unless they were being abused right now. It’s almost as if this were written by someone who focuses too much on one thing and neglects his stories’ surroundnigs. You ponder this thought a bit. It’s only when the stallion in your arms starts squirming that you continue your unnecessary abuse. You slam the fluffy down on the table. It yelps more out of surprise than anything else. When there is no poopies though, you assume he’s finally cleared his bowels. “Now. We don’t want you running off like your friend just now do we?”, you point to the road that goes along your property. “Soo I’m going to pillow you.” You grab your cleaver. “Do you know what a pillowfluff is?” You’re surprised when he actually brings out a semi-coherent “N-nu. F-fwuffy nu noa” “Well”, you say, “A pillowfluff is a very special type of fluffy. It can’t run, it can’t play, it can’t really do much of anything” The fluffy gives you a weird look. You’re not sure if he’s confused or simply disinterested. You assume the former and say “Thats because they don’t have any legs. Isn’t that cool?” Again, you’re not sure if he has anything to say, so you just bring the cleaver down on his leg. The leg comes clean off and the stump starts spraying blood like crazy. Now he starts screaming
SKREEEEEEEEE!
WAI GIB FWUFFY WOWSTEST HUWTIES? HAB WOWSTEST WEGGIE HUWTIES SKREEEEEE!!
You quickly repeat the process with the three other legs, scraping them together with the cleaver like you would scrape together freshly cut cucumber on a chopping board. Then you go to fetch a blowtorch. Now that you’ve pillowed the stallion, he won’t be going anywhere like his friend did. Smiling at the bleeding fluffy, you fire up the blowtorch. The fluffy, who had calmed down a bit, immediately starts to scream his lungs out again. You work in a clockwise fashion, cauterizing every one of his leg stumps, relishing the screams of WOWSTEST BUWNIES and the smell of roast fluffies in the air. Then you have an idea. You go up to yet another fluffy and reach down to it. It immediately falls into the ‘upsies’ pose, a response programmed by Hasbio. You look at the fluffy. “Oh wow. You’re enthusiastic. Do you really want to be picked up that badly?” The fluffy sobs. “Nu. nu wan. Huu huu… PWEASE NU HUWT FWUFFY! Wan wun way buh meanie weggies nu wowk…” You grin. “Well if they don’t work maybe we’ll need to cut them off?” you ask, putting on a look of mock concern for the fluffy. And that is the moment your ears almost explode.
NUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!!
NU TAKE WEGGIES!!! FWUFFY NEE WEGGIES FO WUN AN PWAY!! SKREEEEEEEEE! FWUFFY PWOMISE BE GUD! NU WAN WOWSTEST BUWNIE HUWTIES!!
You laugh and taunt the fluffy some more, threatening it with ‘hurties’ and pretending to pick it up before moving your hands away again. Finally you give him a flick to his snout hard enough for him to topple over backwards and you get back up. Yawning, you realize that it’s getting late and you should probably put an end to the fluffies misery soon. You walk up to the pillowed stallion on the workbench, suppressing the urge to skip in giddy anticipation and pluck a set of pliers off the wall. Giggling at the fluffy, you click the pliers a few times, before you, without warning, move the open pliers around the fluffies genitals and squeeze them as hard as you can. The reaction is instantaneous.
SKREEEEEEEEEE!!!
WOWSTEST PEEPEE PWACE HUWTIES!!! WAT MUNSTAH DO TU FWUFFY?
SU MUCH HUWTIIIES!!!
SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Then you lift the pliers up, suspending the fluffy from them for a few seconds before his genitals rip, letting him fall onto the workbench with a splat. Still giggling, you open the pliers and let the fluffy’s dick and balls fall into your hand. Then you put them down in front of the fluffy. “Eat.” “Wha?” “Eat your special parts” “Munstah wan fwuffy to num speciaw wumps? Buh fwuffy nu wan…” You grab the blowtorch. “Do you want more burning?” “NU! Nu! Otay… fwuffy wiww num speciaw wumps…” He procedes to slowly nibble on his special parts, crying to himself. Meanwhile, you prepare everything for the grand finale. You get a box of matches, a washing basket and a 20l can of fuel out of the garage. When you get back into the shed, the pillowed stallion is still not finished with his ‘meal’. The moment he sees you he starts sobbing “Fwuffy sowwy! Speciaw Wumps taste su bad. Fwuffy nu can num dem huu huu…” You let out a sigh. “It’s okay” Then you apruptly take the fluffy in one hand, its genitals in the other and shove them in his mouth, clamping its mouth shut so it has to swallow. When you let it go again, it gasps for air and vomits a bit, but keeps his Lumps down and doesn’t even talk. “Now then”, you put down the supplies and clap your hands, “Are you ready for your grand finale? I’ll even let you go afterwards. Promise!” Before the fluffies can get too excited, you take them one by one and stuff them into the washing basket (Including the impaled corpse and the dead foals). Then you carry the washing basket out to the firepit. The firepit is essentialy just a set of rocks around a patch of stone which is blackened and filled with dust from countless fires. There you take the gasoline and the matches out of the basket, set the smarty on a chair so it has a good view, and tip the contents (the fluffies) out onto the pit. The fluffies take a few seconds to orient themselves before one curiously asks “Mistuh, wha am fwuffpiwe fo?” You grin. “You’ll see” Because they are tempted with freedom the fluffies just sit around waiting for something to happen instead of trying to run away. You take a moment to appreciate the fluffies and their blinding gullibility (Is that a word? idk) and then you pour the contents of the gas can out onto the fluffies, taking great care not to pour anything onto yourself. The fluffies shriek in surprise, loudly displaying their discomfort at the ‘bad smewwy wawa’. You take no notice and instead light a matchstick, turning around and waving it back and forth in front of the smarty. “Do you know what’s going to happen to them?” Still being afraid of the neighbors dog, the smarty simply shakes his head. “Good, that makes it all much more fun to watch.” Finally, you chuck the matchstick onto the soaked fluffpile.
Immediately it catches fire, the flame rising almost to the top of the house before dying down to a normal size again. You watch the fluffies burn and scream, looking at the smarty every now and then. The smarty now has a look of sheer horror on his face. He is also on the verge of vomiting. Originally, you wanted to keep the smarty until tomorrow and see how much you’d broken him, but on a whim you decide to throw him into the fire aswell.
THE END
So yeah
Not as good as some other stuff on here but I wanted to try it out for myself. Also this was supposed to be longer (Hence the smarty thing at the end), but I just decided to end it there.
EDIT: I made a hugbox Ending for this aswell which can be found here.