Be zeus king of the gods
wake up after a long night of absconding with mortal women and telling Apollo to give children cancer
apparently you were out for a while
like a while
seriously you could swear it was 1985 when you feel asleep
anyways apparently there were these stupid horse creatures now
fuzzies or something
humans made them
of course they did
mortals always made shitty things
you almost found the pegasi ones funny
all that effort for a pathetic imitation that shit itself and couldn’t fly
no the real issue is that some people acted like they were gods because of these things
loving or malevolent
it didn’t matter
they were pretending to be gods and these things actually believed it
you could try pulling a bellerphon but that didn’t really make sense for a bunch of Americans to fall to their deaths in the Macedonian country side
Hades had gone soft after the world wars, so Tartarus for all of them probably wouldn’t happen either
you suppose you could turn them into animals
like Io
though you didn’t do it much
that was more of a thing your wife and kids did
also what animal?
uhh
ummm
uhh
you run your hand through you beard
screw it snakes
no one likes snakes right?
except for Apollo, and your grandson from him.
maybe this could be an early birthday present for him
sure
you turn a bunch of mortals who interact with fluffies on a daily basis into small pit vipers
and even more fluffies in their vicinity into king snakes
king snakes eat vipers
abusers and hugboxers everywhere lose their limbs as their skin starts to shed
their entire body smoldering away leaving only their changing spinal column
mostly because not even you can violate thermodynamics to the extent where the mass goes away
not without creating stars
so really they look like they’re melting
faces slop off as bones fall to the floor with sickening squelches.
while the fluffies writhe in agony while their owners begin to smell more delicious
they contract widthwise as their skin burns, fur falling off into clumps as keratinous scales begin to form
they try to call out for help but all that comes out is hissing
you’d sit and watch the carnage but you remember you have to let Typhon out to shit again
oh well just gonna be another hurricane in the Phillipines
5 Likes
According to Fall of Cleveland Greek mythology is canon/