Jason the Budget Exterminator (chapter 3) Maze of Misery

Hey everyone! I know it’s been a while and I’m sorry for going so silent for so long. Some things were happening, and I wasn’t really in a fluffy feeling mood. However, I’ve since fallen back into the mood, and will hopefully be writing more often as well as interacting with the community more. Thank you for your patience.



“Oh shut up,” Jason sighed as he pulled the trigger on his .22 revolver, the short snub-nosed muzzle flashing as it fired a shot with a loud ‘pop’, the final fluffy collapsing as a .22 hollow point tore through its delicate skull. Holstering his revolver, Jason retrieved a garbage bag from his backpack before collecting the fluffy’s bodies.

Tying off the top of the bag he swung it over his shoulder before making his way out of a forest and entered a clearing, a small single-story home with a garden located in the center. Jason approached the back door before knocking on it, and an old Asian woman opened it up.

“I’ve dealt with the problem Mrs. Chu. Now are you sure you want to dispose of them yourself?” Jason asked with a friendly smile.

“Yes, dear. Thank you so much. How much do I owe you?” Mrs. Chu asked, retrieving a pen and checkbook from a fanny pack wrapped around her.

“$40 ma’am. Just enough for the ammo and the fuel.”

Mrs. Chu grinned before quickly scribbling down the number 50.

“Take 50. Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Chu. If you spot any more damage to your garden call me and I’ll clear the next herd out for free. Have a good day.”

Dropping the bag in front of the door, Jason retrieved the check from the old lady before making his way to the front of the house where his pick-up truck was parked. Opening the driver’s side door he tossed his backpack onto the passenger before taking off his holster and placing it down on the dashboard.

Stepping into the truck he retrieved his holster before leaning over and stashing it in his truck’s glove box right next to a pill bottle full of quarters and a wrinkled photograph of him and his army unit. He stared at the photograph for a moment before closing the glovebox.

Taking out his phone, he checked his latest video analytics, frowning at the low views and the massive amount of negative comments. His latest video, ‘New Toy’, in which he showed Digger off to his subscribers, had proven to be quite controversial. Many seemed to be fearful that Jason was starting to become soft and were worried that Digger would take over the channel’s content instead of his normal extermination showcases.

If only they knew what he had planned…

Closing out of YouTube, he opened up Google before typing in ‘Nearest FluffyMart’ before pressing ‘directions’. Placing his phone down, he began to follow the directions. It would take around an hour to reach it, but it was worth it. He only hoped that Digger would be okay being by himself for a few more hours.

“Stoopi’ bocks! Smawty gib ‘ou foreba sweepies!” Digger cried out before stabbing his horn into the small cardboard box repeatedly, trying his best to ‘kill’ the inanimate object, just as his new ‘Daddeh’ had told him to. Stepping away from the box, Digger smiled at the multiple holes that dotted it, admiring his work. “Smawty su gud at kiwwin’ bocks!”

Turning away from the box, Digger made his way over to his food and water bowl, feeding and watering himself before charging across the room at full speed, burying his extra sharp horn back into the cardboard box. “Die bocks!”

Jason parked his car in front of the FluffyMart before grabbing his phone and turning it off. Sliding it into his pocket, he exited his truck and shut the door before locking it. He let out a sigh as he looked around at his urban surroundings, a far cry from the quiet forests he was used to. Turning around he walked up to the entrance before opening the door and stepping inside.

“Welcome to FluffyMart!” The cashier exclaimed with an obvious fake smile. “Is there anything I can-"

The cashier’s fake expression suddenly dropped, his eyes widening as he stared at Jason. He obviously recognized him, but Jason wasn’t exactly sure if he was a fan or not.

“Yeah, I’m here to buy some fluffies. A few foals and an adult should be enough.”

“R-right! This way sir,” The cashier stuttered out before guiding Jason past the many aisles of Hasbio items to the back of the store where a multitude of pens and tanks were situated. Jason peered down at the horde of fluffies who crowded around the edge of the pen, all of them shouting up at him.

“Nyu Daddeh?!”

“Pwease be Fwuffies Daddeh! Fwuffy am gud Fwuffy! Pwomise!”

“Yay! Daddeh!”

Jason scanned the crowd, looking for a suitable adult fluffy for what he had planned.

“So… um… are you Jason121? The YouTuber?” The cashier asked.

“Yeah. That’s me,” Jason replied, his eyes locking onto a murky green fluffy with a brown mane. “How much is that one?” He asked as he pointed at it.

“A-about forty-five dollars sir.”

“FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” Jason exclaimed with a shocked voice, spinning around to face him. “I kill better-looking fluffies before breakfast! Why are they so expensive?!”

“Well, sir these are legitimate licensed Hasbio products. They even come with a pet carrier. If cost is an issue, may I show you to the micro-fluffs?”

Jason sighed as he looked over to the micro-fluff tank. They would be decent enough for what he had planned for the foals he was going to buy, but he would have to get an adult fluffy for the biology lessons.

“I’ll take the murky green one and five micro’s.”

“A-are you sure sir?”

“Yeah. Just don’t tell me the prices.”

“Um… any specific colors you’d like for the micro’s?"

“Nah. Just grab me the cheapest colors. They aren’t going to last too long.”

“Y-yes sir!”

Rolling his eyes, Jason walked away from the pens towards the fluffy food aisle, looking for a for Digger. In the end, he settled for a can of Hasbio ‘super-sketties’ which allegedly helped with bone and muscle development before heading to the front, where he waited patiently for the cashier.

After a minute the cashier returned to his station, a small cardboard carrier in his left hand and a large plastic one in his right. Placing both on the counter he began to type away at the register, both of the carrier’s contents brimming with happy voices.

“Fwuffie am su excited fo’ new home!”

“Will that be all for today sir?” The cashier asked, increasing the volume of his voice to try and speak over the loud fluffies.

“Hewwo daddeh! fwuffie, am su happy to meet 'ou!”

“Could you add on this can of ‘super-sketties’ too?”


“Daddeh buyin’ sketties?!”

“Yay! Daddeh buyin’ sketties!”

“Am fo’ fwuffy?!”

“Why certainly sir. Is that it?”

“Daddeh buy fwuffie toysies too?! Pwease?!”

“Yeah, I think so. What’s the damage?” Jason asked, already starting to get annoyed by the talking claw-machine prizes.

“Um, that’ll be “

“Never mind. Just charge my card. I don’t want to even hear it,” Jason sighed, handing the cashier his credit card. Jason turned away as the cashier took his card and swiped it, confirming the purchase before returning it to Jason. Jason slid the credit card back into his wallet before pocketing it and grabbing the carriers handles before thanking the cashier and exiting the store with them.

The trip home was exhausting for him, with the constant child-like babbling keeping him on edge the entire way home. All he wanted to do was ditch the talking cargo out onto the side of the road to perish in the heat, locked away in their plastic and cardboard cages. However, he kept himself from surrendering to his urges, instead trying his best to look forward to enacting his plan.

Arriving home, he loaded his gun into his bag before carrying it and the boxes of fluffies inside, placing all three onto the kitchen counter.

“Am dis nyu housie?”

“Su pwetty!”

“Fwuffy have sketties soon?”

Jason sighed as he listened to the fluffies talking, trying to get as annoyed by them as possible so that he wouldn’t feel bad about what was going to happen next. Picking up the box of micro’s, he brought them to his garage, where he had set up a large maze out of wooden planks, just large enough that a fluffy foal could not escape.

Carefully walking over to the center of the maze, he opened the micro fluffs box before crouching down and dumping them out onto the cold cement floor. They squealed as they came tumbling out, letting out grunts and yelps as they hit the ground.


“Why daddeh dwop fwuffy?”

“Huu, huu. Fwuffy need huggies!”

“Shut up. You five have been very bad fluffies, and now you’re all going into the monster maze.”

“M-MUNSTA?!” They all cry out in unison, their tiny heads jerking from side to side, trying to spot the fabled creature.

“Yep. So I’d better start running…”

“Wun fwiends! Wun!” A blue micro earthie screams, the small ponies all fleeing in separate directions, the small foal-sized maze seeming like a labyrinth to them.

Stepping out of the maze, Jason quickly jogged over to one of his closets, which he had constructed into a makeshift playroom for Digger where he found the brown smarty foal repeatedly stabbing one of the boxes Jason had placed inside.

“Hey Digger! I need your help!” Jason yelled, getting the fluffy’s attention.

“What am it daddeh?” The fluffy asked, walking up to him.

“I bought you some spaghetti, but a bunch of tiny meany fluffies are trying to steal it!” Jason lied, trying his best to rev Digger up. “Would you mind helping me get rid of them?”

“Fwuffies am twyin’ to steaw sketties fwom smawty? Dey nee’ foweba sweepies!”

“Haha! That’s the spirit! Come here and let me bring you to them.”

Digger ran over, allowing Jason to pick him up and bring him over to the garage. On the way, Jason couldn’t help but admire the sharpness of Digger’s horn, which Jason had sharpened himself. It seemed to Jason that it was keeping its point very well, and he was excited to see how it would perform against living targets.

“They’re in here,” Jason explained, pushing open the door to his garage before stepping inside, the cries of fear from the micro’s audible. It was surprising how loud they could be. “I managed to trap them in this, but I need you to give them forever sleepies."

“Smawty am weady daddeh! Wet fwuffy sabe fwuffy’s sketties!”

“That’s the spirit Digger!” Jason chuckled as he stepped into the maze, his eyes locking onto a multi-color pile of fluff, the sounds of whimpering audible from it. It seemed that the micros had all gathered around and attempted to find solace in one another.

However, this couldn’t be allowed, as the whole point of the exercise was to train Digger in hunting down and exterminating fleeing fluffies inside of maze-like burrows.

“Huu-Huu. Fwuffie am scawed…“

“There they are Digger!” Jason exclaimed, pointing towards the pile.

“They’we dah bad fwuffies?” Digger questioned, tilting his head as he looked at the pile of scared and cowering fluffies.

“Yes! And they want to eat your sketties! Go get them!” Jason exclaimed once more before placing Digger in the maze next to the pile.

The micros began to quiet down as they turned their attention onto the brown foal standing in front of them.

“New fwend?” A puke-colored micro asked, shakily stepping away from the pile towards the larger fluffy, the other micros watching as the foal began to approach the micro.

“Poopie pwotect us fwom munsta?” The puke-colored micro asked before Digger suddenly charged at him with his head pointed downwards, thrusting his horn into the micro’s small eye.

“SCREEEEEE! POOPIE AM MUNSTA!” The micro squealed as Digger stepped backward, sliding his sharp horn out of the fluffies eye socket, blood starting to drip down the micros face.

Jason watched as the other micros scattered, except for the puke green micro, who attempted to turn around to flee, but was smacked by one of Digger’s front legs, rolling the micro onto his back.

“NUU! PLEASE DON’T HURT FWUFFY! AM GUD FWUFFY! NO WAN-“ The micro squealed before receiving a violent stab into his gut. “SCREEEEEE!”

“Stoopi’ sketties steawah get wowstes’ pointy stabbies!” Digger yelled as he began to repeatedly stab his horn into the micro’s chest and stomach.

Jason cringed as he watched Digger clumsily dispatch the now gurgling micro, not at the carnage, but at the messy and inefficient killing. Digger still had lots to learn.

Finally, with one last stab to the throat, the life left the micros eyes, Digger letting out a happy cheer before turning around and looking up at Jason.

“Did fwuffie do gud daddeh?“ The foal asked.

“Yes! Yes, you did! But the other bad fluffies are getting away! Go kill them and save your spaghetti!” Jason replied, Digger nodding before running down the maze, trying to find the next micro to kill. The maze itself was quite basic, so much so that Jason believed that even an infant could figure it out, however, fluffies aren’t human infants, and the mazes twists and turns quickly tired the minds of a few of the micros.

Luckily, Digger was not as easily exhausted and quickly caught up to a second micro. The micro, a dirty-yellow-colored earthie, accidentally cornered herself by running into a dead end.

“Nu! Pwease waww, mobe an’ wet fwuffy escape! Pwease!” The yellow micro mare wined, pitifully bashing at the wall with her hooves.

“Found ‘ou! Stoopi’ mean sketties steawew!” Digger yelled, the mare spinning around to face him.

“Nu! Nu am sketties steawew! pwease don’t gib fwuffy owwies! Nu wan’ foweba sweepies!” The yellow mare begged before letting out a pained screech as Digger smacked her in the face with his front leg.

“Be quiet stoopi’ smaww mawe! Stoopi’ smaww mawe get foweba sweepies!” Digger said before starting to stab at the mare with his horn, the yellow fluffy screaming and kicking as she was mutilated until finally she was snuffed out by a stab to the upper chest, the horn penetrating her heart.

Letting out a jubilant cheer, Digger ran off to hunt down the other fluffies. Jason watched as Digger systematically cornered and killed each micro, each in an equally brutal and ineffective manner, until finally there was only one left.

Just like the yellow mare, the micro, a dirty grey male unicorn, foolishly cornered himself at a dead end. However, unlike the mare, did not beg for mercy. Instead, he turned around and puffed himself up, trying to intimidate Digger.

“Go 'way poopies munsta! Ow fwuffy wiww gib 'ou foweba sweepies!” He threatened, Digger taken slightly aback by the micros bravery but nonetheless determined to dispose of it.

With a huff, Digger advanced upon the micro, who spread his front legs in an attempt to get into a defensive position. However, despite this attempt, the micro was still at a serious disadvantage due to size alone.

As Digger got within the micros range, the smaller fluffy attempted a jab with his horn, which was met with a single stomp by Digger which smashed the micros head into the concrete floor.

“SCREEEEEEE! WOWSTES’ OWWIES!” The micro squealed as its head was repeatedly stomped into the concrete, fragments of teeth breaking off with every stomp.

“Be quiet stoopi’ sketties steawew! ‘ou am su annoyin’!”

Before long the last micro perished, and Digger began to let out cheers of happiness as Jason picked him up and began to make his way out of the garage for spaghetti. However, Jason wasn’t as happy. Digger had succeeded, however, he was messy and took far too long to dispose of the micros. If there had been a way out of the maze, a few of the micros would have escaped. He would have to give Digger a biology lesson via the adult fluffy soon enough, but right now he would let Digger rest and enjoy his reward. He had earned it.


Perfection takes practice.

Digger daggers diminutive dickheads: Destruction defined

Digger’s got a good ways to go to weed out them fluffs.

I never thought I’d say this, but I can’t wait for biology class.