Be a breeder they said. It’d be fun they said.
I want to strangle them. No… not really. That’d be bad for business and business was great. Besides. I didn’t really hate them. They were actually pretty easy to take care of. They could tell you what they wanted when they needed it and if it wasn’t too much trouble I would oblige them every now and then as a treat.
Spending an hour with them watching FluffTV for an hour or so was more stress-relieving than I thought it would be.
And naming them was pretty fun.
I honestly only found this herd by complete chance though. Of course, it was them that approached me.
Long story short, I was contemplating throwing the emerald green smarty who was jumping up and down on my prone still body while I was attempting to get more sleep… which I was failing to get because of the stated fluffy.
“Fungus… dude… I like you, even if you are a smarty… but I swear I will dye your fur the shittiest brown I can find at the nearest drug store.”
The emerald unicorn glared at me with puffed-out cheeks. Testing just how serious I was with my threat.
“Smawty not scawedy of magic wawa!”
Oh for the love of…
Seems like he’s caught my bluff. It sucked but I actually needed Fungus to keep the herd compliant. The little bastard was actually useful in keeping the herd quiet when I wanted it.
Unfortunately ‘Daddeh’ wanted more sleep.
“Look… You let me sleep for a little while longer I’ll give you extra sketti tonight. For being daddeh’s bestest smarty.”
Fungus blinked, Sketti was always the best bribe. And it was Wednesday. Which was sketti night. His eyes narrowed. “Fungus am daddeh’s bestes’ smawty?” questioning the words I spoke as he repeated them.
Oh god, yes he was using his name. This was good. This was a good sign. “Fungus… you’re the only smarty I have.”
Which was true. Fungus had taken care of that ages ago.
The smarty puffed out his chest in pride. His ego stroked enough for now. “I’ll unlock the fluffy door so you and the others can enjoy being outside while I pour the oats into the bowls and probably throw out the litter pals… they uh… yeah I’m not even going to ask what they went through.”
Which sucked cause I bought three litter pals just a month ago.
“Wan’ speshuw huggies!”
“And no one’s stopping you, Apollo!” well actually there were a number of things stopping him. The gray, black maned earthy wasn’t the smartest fluffy in the herd and most of the mares were already pregnant. And those that weren’t were too young. Besides, there were quite a number of enfie toys for him to enjoy.
I rubbed my face and groaned weakly. “Sleep won’t be possible now… thanks a lot. Guess I’ll make coffee instead.”
…
Fungus followed, trotting by my feet like some sort of bodyguard, which was honestly kind of cute, well as about as cute as a smarty can get I guess.
With coffee in hand, I skillfully poured the brand name fluffy oats, into the bowls, and opened up the special fluffy door so the fluffies could come and go from inside and outside, where I had painstakingly fluffy proofed… and with constant weekly checks the fence has yet to fail me just yet.
Luckily none of the fluffies I owned knew what ‘digging’ was.
With that done, the fluffies that remained inside were treated to anime cause I’m an otaku in all but name.
I moved to my computer now, checking out a management game I left unpaused, the fluffies wouldn’t want my attention for another hour two thirty minutes top if a foal just really wanted to be hugged or something, and honestly, as long as they used the litterbox or did their business outside I didn’t really give a damn what they did right now.
Checking important fluffie breeder forums and fluffy news was kind of important if I wanted to continue to be a breeder.
Tips and tricks on how to handle brown foals and alicorns… what not to do with abused fluffies and how to care for botched pillow fluffs.
Honestly, it was the same old same old.
Just another day as a breeder…
How’d I do for my first text post? did I uh… do the filters right?
If it’s liked enough I wouldn’t mind writing more about the fluffie herd and making it a bit longer than this as well.