looking for an old story

I’ve been looking for a story for a while now that I remember reading on a 4chan thread years ago. I don’t remember a lot about the particulars but the few things I do remember are that it was about two fluffies, a male and female, who were being used as subjects in some sort of experiment, the story was told from the pov of their caretaker who I believe was never named and was set across a few years or so until the very end where it jumped forwards by a bunch of years as a sort of retrospective of what the characters had done with their lives. it started out as the female fluffy being the lead of the experiment but eventually lead to the male fluffy being the lead, and I want to say his name started with an h like Henry or Harry or something like that but I don’t remember exactly, and I want to say the story was written across 6 to 8 “parts”, though again I’m not entirely sure. sorry if this has been answered before and I just didn’t find the post, and I’d be grateful for any help.

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Got to be honest, that sounds really generic.
A dime a dozen fluffy story, especially from the early days.
You can’t remember anything more specific ?

Oh, and welcome to FC.

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This honestly.
Even just a specific scene from the story would help.

thank you for the welcome, as for any other specifics I remembered a few but not much. the premise of the story was something like testing fluffy intelligence limits and the scientists thought the girl fluffy was the smartest one between them initially before they found out the boy fluffy was a literal genius, eventually going on to do things like solve world hunger and bring about world peace and was revered because of it. as he was noticed for his intelligence the girl fluffy got more and more jealous and eventually started attacking him and I want to say tried to kill him at one point, causing the caretaker to torture her until she basically died from an infection from something he did. at one point I want to say she had a litter of babies who she also neglected but that’s another fuzzy detail for me. towards the end it got crazy as hell with the scientists finding out how to keep the boy fluffy alive for decades longer than he should and the caretaker, literally on his death bed, trying to kill him to release him from the hell of basically living in a giant life support system but dying himself before he could do so

Okay, that sounds a lot less generic.
It doesn’t ring any bells with me but somebody may recognize it

Also if you have any questions about FC or the workings of this place feel free to ask.
And dont be afraid to comment on stuff either.

Do you have memorable quotes from the story that can help identifying it?

On /b/ or /trash/?

And did you read it in text format like this
image

I can’t say I remember any particularly memorable quotes that haven’t been used a bunch in other stories, no, but it was on /b/ and it was in image format, I want to say the background of each part was a lightish green if that helps at all

Thats a green text story, and those are really really common.

Is it like this one?:
11000 - author_ferrotter get safe text

that exact color, I think the text itself was the same shade of purple too

This is sort of an interesting puzzle to try to solve. At first I thought it must be that one with the tiny fluffies in the old school jar terrarium with a dung beetle, but now I don’t know.

Well that color means that it was a story made by Ferrotter… except I don’t remember, nor found any of his stories that took place in 6-8 part. The fact that he’s the only old fluffybooru users that never stop using image to tell a story made searching it quite difficult

Since it was uploaded on 4chan, do you remember what the filename of the image was?

I can’t say I remember the name of them, no, I want to say it was either the name of the girl fluffy or just something generic though like “The Experiment” or something like that, and that’s if I’m even remembering that part correctly and not mixing it up with another story I had read back then

Hey @thedarkgamer02, are you still here? I think I finally found your story

“How Long Can a Fluffy Live?” by Hillary Rodham Clinton (FB ID: 39160)

Text version

“How Long Can a Fluffy Live?”
By Hillary Rodham Clinton

>work on fluffy breeder farm for over ten years
>an average of 12,000 fluffies are born each month on our farm
>despite >50% mortality rate and rather unsanitary conditions, we are considered relatively humane and our farm is extremely profitable.
>work in the research department, we managed to hire some former Hasbio employees who really know their shit about fluffies
>i’m put in charge of new long term experiment
>”how long can a fluffy live”
>while most of our experiments dealt with the disposal of fluffies with general disregard for the fluffys’ comfort and well being, this time we’re carefully and lovingly raising a family of well-bred fluffies in hopes of breaking the record for oldest fluffy ever.
>the current record is 16 years, 204 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes, 12 seconds.
>set by a complete madman scientist who kept a pillowfluff alive with an iron lung and other mechanical appendages. Apparently the fluffy kept muttering ‘wan die’ for the last 10 years of its life.
>our plan is different.
>we’re going to try to do everything right and keep it alive as if it were a beloved family pet.
>of course we will eventually use any means necessary if this doesn’t work
>our hypothesis is that a stress free environment with plenty of social interaction and gentle stimulation will lengthen the life of a fluffy.

>our test subjects are a family of fluffies we call ‘The Hendersons’
>Nancy the mare, a fat pink fluffy with a gigantic vagina. Whines a lot and is exceptionally stupid even for a fluffy.
>George the father, neutered after impregnating Nancy. Tested numerous times for the smarty syndrome but doesn’t seem to have it. Seems docile with good genes and fatherly instincts.
>Ernie the red male, we’re worried that Nancy has already dubbed Ernie the bestes babeh, leading to potential smarty behavior. We have reprimanded Nancy and reminded Ernie he is not special.
>Harry the brown male. We’ve done our best to avoid the poopeh babeh effect but his asshole parents are still shitting on him and treating him like a munsta no matter how much we use the sorry stick on them.

>And Sarah, who we aim to keep alive longer than any fluffy ever before. She’s a standard baby blue fluffy, rather dull looking.
>You could pick her up in any bargain bin at any pet shop in America.
>She’s the perfect test subject.
>Females live longer, she has a shy and quiet temperament, and most importantly, she was born sterile.
>we were specifically looking for a naturally sterile born fluffy.
>Sexual intercourse and giving birth significantly reduce the lifespan of fluffies, either the vaginal tearing eventually gets infected/cancerous or the plethora of STDs that plague fluffies kill them. >fluffies have over 70 times as many types of STDs as humans, it’s a miracle if a fluffy is born without one
>sterilization/neutering doesn’t help with lifespan much either. The traumatic experience of castration/pouring bleach in the pussyhole eventually catches up to older fluffies who end up dying no later than age 12.
>PTSD is something we’re taking very very seriously during this experiment
>even though fluffies are stupid and have an extremely short memory span, around age 10 they start vividly remembering traumatic experiences, especially genital/leg removals. The thought of all they have missed out on due to their injuries is all they can think of for the rest of their life.
>Hasbio guys say they are programmed a vivid late term memory so the fluffy can ‘recite all the good times the fluffy had with its owner’ during its later years.
>fluffies seem to be especially sensitive to bad memories for whatever reason
>’death from depression,’ as sad and silly as it sounds, is actually the leading cause of death for fluffies over the age of 8
>we make sure Sarah never, EVER experiences trauma.
>this means no yelling, no fights, no torture, and no special hugs
>she needs social interaction though, so we will be using her family as company but they are certainly not exempt from corporal punishment.
>Experiment begins well, we keep the family in a fluff-proof room with food dispensers, a large selection of toys, televisions, plenty of litterbox space and a couple of litterpals (with teeth extracted just in case).
>Everything a fluffy could ever want.
>I even spend time with the Hendersons at least twice a day.
>I won’t grow attached to them, but they’re pretty well behaved for fluffies.

>A year passes by. Not too bad so far. Hardest part was getting the family to finally accept Harry has a member of the family and not ‘the poopeh babeh.’
>Harry still seems despondent whenever I see him, I think he still feels rejected.
>At least Ernie hasn’t turned into a smarty yet, he’s actually a pretty playful little scramp, likes playing the xylophone to try to impress me.
>Sarah is a sweetheart, if a little quiet. She loves watching television, which is good - it’s a safe activity and will stimulate her mentally
>A few months pass and the Hasbio guys start taking a real interest in Ernie.
>apparently he’s unusually smart for an earth fluffy without too much of the smarty behavior and his scarlet red fluff is a fairly desirable color.
>they want to use him to breed high quality fluffies.
>this means he needs to move to a new cage away from the family.
>we need to make this as non traumatic as possible for Sarah, who has taken a liking to Ernie while ignoring Harry.
>we decided to tell Ernie he’s going to be a stud, assuming he’d be excited and his happiness will make his exit easier on Sarah.
>while being a ‘stud’ may sound appealing, we really don’t usually treat them well.
>They fuck and fuck and fuck until they can’t fuck no more and then we force them to fuck some more.
>We do this because we give them special hug drugs that reverts them to feral behavior.
>If they don’t get it all out of their system it might stay in there and the fluffy can turn into a raging smarty.
>we simply tell Ernie he’s getting ‘special hugs all day long forever and ever,’ which makes him squeal in delight.
>He also seems to get a little braggy, as he flaunts his supposed superiority to his siblings, especially Harry.
>He reminds Harry that he’s a poopy color and that no mare will ever want to have special huggies from him.
>Sarah is taking it well, seems proud for her brother. We tell her she is going to be a great auntie to hundreds of children (in reality it will be in the tens of thousands, but less than half will survive anyway).

>It’s Ernie’s last day.
>the parents gathered a large ration of kibble from the dispensers to pretend they made Ernie a special dinner for his goodbye.
>the fluffies start dancing like a bunch of idiots.
>me and one of the other technicians are smoking a joint after hours, watching this and giggling.
>looks like they’re sending their kid off to college. The parents seem proud.
>i reach into grab Ernie, ‘alright little buddy you ready to get laaaaaaid?’
>i pick up Ernie by the fluff of his neck.
>he screams and shits everywhere ‘OWWIES BAD UPPIES! SCREEEEEE!’
>A giant log of shit lands squarely on Sarah’s face.
>”EWW STEEENKY POOPEHS HAWP”
>the mother runs away shitting.
>God I want to choke Ernie, I didn’t even give him bad upsies… but I can’t lose my cool, not in front of Sarah.
>I lay Ernie in the palm of my hand, getting shit all over my skin. I whisper ‘its ok its ok’ in Ernies ear as I rush him out of the room.
>The other technician is laughing. I yell at him to clean up Sarah and the rest of the family.
>I start walking down the hall to the breeding cages, thinking Ernie has calmed down.
>I feel him bite me. His soft teeth don’t hurt but I’m mostly pissed he even dares to bite.
>I open my hand and he’s growling and puffing his cheeks.
>”You little shitrat” Ernie winces at the no-no word, it hurts his ears.
>”U can’t huwt ewnie, ewnie a ware fwuffy wif speshul wed cowowed fwuff. Awso wewy smawt!”
>”You think I can’t fucking hurt you? Oooh boy you don’t know who you’re talking to.”
>You see, we specialize in ‘humanely’ torturing these little fucks in ways that are unidentifiable.
>Fluffies have an extremely sensitive and exploitable nervous system. This is why they scream/cry so much when they’re in pain and why they can’t help but shit themselves when scared/in pain.
>This nervous system runs along the skeleton, push the nerve against the bone and it causes extreme pain.
>It doesn’t take much to push a nerve against the bone, just a slightly too-hard hug in the right place.
>Trigger points include the middle of the hooves, top of the skull, behind the ears, ribs #3 & #7, and ESPECIALLY in the ‘armpits.’ Ever wonder why fluffies always scream ‘BAD UPSIES’ when you pick them up by the armpits? Because when you do them you completely pinch their largest nerve against the bone, causing indescribable amounts of pain throughout the body.
>Pushing a nerve doesn’t cause any damage to the fluffy besides an occasional bruise.
>I pick Ernie up by the armpits and squeeze the living shit out of him.
>”You worthless cumbag. Don’t you fucking become a smarty, we will fucking kill you the second you puff those cheeks again!”
>”WAAAAAH pffffffft NO WAN HUWTIES WET GO WET GO”
>”Shut the fuck up! I’m telling you this so you survive. I’ve been a nice daddy, but your new daddies are not nice.”
>”NU DADDEHS? NU WAN NYU DADDEHS HALP”
>”You talk back once and they will squish your fucking head into the ground for fun! There are millions of you stupid little shitrats ready to replace you!”
>”NUUUUU BAD UPSIES HUWTIES WET GO”
>I threw him down into his new home.
>a dirty fuckpen filled with 10 other horny colts.
>Ernie instantly gets mounted by the biggest blackest colt.
>”NU BAD HUGS. EWNIE NYU HEWE. EWNIE NU HOW TO MAKE SPESHUL HUGS”
>I turn around and can literally hear the black colts’ jizz covered dick squish into Ernie’s ass.
>”POOPIE PWACE HUWWWWT HALP! MUMMEH! MUMMEH!”

>I wonder if that other guy cleaned Sarah yet…
>I check back on the Hendersons.
>other technician straight bounced, can’t find him anywhere.
>Sarah is still caked with shit. I thought she would’ve let the litterpals clean her up, but they seemed to be too full.
>Lord knows they’ve earned a break.
>Shit, we normally have a guy here who specializes in cleaning the fluffies without stressing them out, but it’s after hours and he’s probably asleep.
>guess i have to give her a bath myself.
>I’m terrible with giving baths, fluffies absolutely hate water.
>I’ve broken so many legs trying to wash fluffies. I must make sure I am very careful with Sarah. >Fuck, and I’m high. Shit. At least she’s quiet I suppose.
>I carefully cradle her to pick her up. God she smells so bad. She quietly whimpers as I whisper to her that the poopies will be gone soon.
>I trip over George, the daddy fluffy.
>”GWORGIE HAF OWWIES! SCREEEEEEE!”
>Fucking shitrat.
>I forgot the daddy even existed.
>Looks like I dislocated his back leg, fragile ass bone is straight popping out.
>He’s in extreme pain, crying like a little bitch.
>His mare looks on in horror, while Harry hides in the corner
>All I care about is Sarah. Luckily I had her in my arms the entire time.
>But I was more concerned with her not being traumatized by her daddy’s injury.
>I quickly hugged her closely into my shoulders, covering her ears and eyes as I rushed out the room into our cleaning tub room.
>Can still hear George screaming from the other room. I place Sarah in an empty tub.
>”Wats dat noise daddeh?”
>”Nothing Sarah, Daddy will be right back.” I speed back to the Henderson room.
>George is still screaming and crying. His wife Nancy was trying to hug him back to health. This of course was making it worse as the hug simply added more weight to his dislocated leg.
>In fact, the only thing holding the back leg together is a nerve.
>”GWORGIE NU WAN WOSE WEG. GWORGIE NEED WEGGIES!”
>”Sorry George. It’s just one leg.”
>”NU NU NU GWORGIE WAN PLAY GWORGIE WAN SPESHUL HUGS”
>”It’ll be ok George you can still have special hugs its just your back leg. Now stop…”
>I yank the broken leg, snapping the nerve. “…screaming.”
>”WAAAAAAAH WOWSTEST OWWIES WEGGIE HUWT NU WEGGIE NEED WEGGIE WEGGIE WEGGIE”
>”Shut the fuck up about your leg I don’t care.” I shove his leg into his mouth.
>I grab some scotch tape and wrap it around his head, using the leg as a gag.
>”MMMMMPPMMMWWWWWW” There, don’t think we’ll hear that in the bath room…
>I cauterize the wound, George’s shit is spraying all over the room.
>Now Nancy is crying hysterically.
>I shut her up with a quick twist of her ear, telling her if I hear one more peep from her George gets forever sleepies.
>I go back to the bath tub room. Sarah is sitting patiently in the tub, still with shit all over her face.
>”Ok Sarah let’s get you cleaned up”
>I turn on the water. It spouts out directly in Sarah’s eyes.
>”COOOOOWWWWD WAWA NU GOOD. SAWAH HATE WAWA HAWWWWP!”
>Fucking shit everywhere. Sarah flails about. I’m a dumbass, I fucking deserved this.
>”It’s ok it’s ok the water will warm up.” I’m trying to be as careful as I can with Sarah.
>Can’t traumatize or hurt her.
>I accidently squeeze her armpit.
>She shrieks. I grasp her and she continuously shits all over the place.
>I hold her by the armpits until all the shit is out.
>This takes a while. She keeps screeeeeeeeing.
>Well fuck it, she’s traumatized now I guess.
>And I’m angry.
>I grab her by the neck and pin her down.
>”WHY DADDEH HUWT SAWAH. SCREEEEEEE”
>Tears are flowing from her eyes as she keeps violently sniffing.
>I scrub the shit off her face, digging the soapy sponge deep into her fluff.
.>”DADDEH PWEESE WAWA HUWT EYES. WAWA TOO HAWT”
>I squeeze her snout shut as I scrub her asshole.
>Fuck, the litterpals have been slacking haven’t they?
>I have to change tubs because of how shitty the water has gotten.
>She eventually calms down and I can finally wash her properly in warm water.
>She’s finally clean and I start blow drying her fluff.
>I’m distraught as fuck, knowing that I just fucked up the entire experiment by traumatizing Sarah. But she seems to be taking it well. She doesn’t even seem to remember that I just lost my shit. I almost feel bad.
>”Sarah, Daddy’s sorry for getting mad there.”
>”its ow kay daddeh, sawah understawd why daddeh fwustwated. Daddeh just twying to get sawah cween!”
>Understand. Frustrated…. Very big words for a fluffy’s vocabulary, especially one that’s only a year and half old. Sarah might be smarter than we think.
>I start taking Sarah back to the Henderson room.
>Oh shit I forgot, George shit all over the place and is probably still bitching about losing his leg.
>I place Sarah in a holding cage as I check the Henderson room.
>Fuck, Nancy is still trying to hug George back to health.
>Except she shit all over herself and the two have been rolling around in each others shit.
>George’s leg hole as got to be infected by now.
>”Nancy you stupid little shit you just killed George.”
>”WAAAA? GWORGIE WOSE WEGGIES HALP GWORGIE!”
>this retarded little shitrat literally spread her shit all over George’s stump.
>”No Nancy, look at all this shit. You and george are sitting in it. You even tried covering George’s leg hole with shit.”
>”POOPIES MAKE WEGGIES GWOW BACK?”
>”That’s wrong Nancy. Poopies are bad. They cause infections that make big owwies.”
>George suddenly starts yelping in pain. I rip off his scotch tape weggie gag.
>”WEGGIES HUWT. WOWSTEST OWIES AGAIN. WHOWE BODY HUWWWTS.”
>”See Nancy? Now George has an infection because you rubbed shit all over him. You’re probably going to get very sick too. This is why we keep your room nice and clean.”
>”MAKE OWWIES STAHP MAKE OWWIES STAHP” George’s eyes have turned completely bloodshot,
>I guess this infection is spreading so quickly because we’ve kept the Hendersons in such a sterile environment.
>”Sorry George. I wish I could make the owwies stop…” The truth is I can totally make the owwies stop, all I would have to do is squeeze him until he pops into a lifeless pile of flesh, blood, shit, and pus. God do I want to do that…
>But we have a procedure to follow. George is still a test subject. And when a test subject gets sick, they are used for experiments. We can still get plenty of use out of poor George.
>”Say goodbye you two, this will be the last time you see each other.”
>I didn’t think they would comprehend what I said, but they obviously did.
>”goodbwye gworgie, nancy wuv u wewy much…”
>”gworgie wuv nancy. I dun wan go. I dun wan go. Wan stay wit nancy. We haf gud times togeffer. Many speshul hugs. We make gud babehs.”
>the parents hugged, crying in each others shoulders, knowing it was the last time.
>”u get betta gworgie. Nancy sowwe fo gettin yu sickies.”
>”gworgie pwomise to get betta. Gworgie gon come back otay? Gworgie gon get betta and come back to Nancy otay? Gworgie pwomise.” as George finished the last sentence he started coughing violently.
>Nancy notices and silently weeps. George nuzzles his snout one last time with Nancy.
>”Goodbye.”
>…God damn. Almost sounded human.
>I take George to the sick bay.
>It’s after hours so I leave him in the ‘new sickies’ bin with 4-5 other dead/catatonic baby fluffs.
>It’s like a ‘book return’ slot that libraries have. George screeeees as I dump him in.
>Normally fluffy screams annoy me.
>This time I understand.

>Another month has passed.
>We told Sarah that George went to live with Ernie at the stud farm.
>But Nancy told Sarah what really happened.
>We’re worried Sarah has lost trust in us.
>Nancy is becoming a problem.
>Without George, Nancy has been complaining about having more babies.
>She claims she needs a new special friend and that her vagina hurts from not receiving special hugs (we fitted George with a pair of neuticles after his operation so they could still pretend to fuck)
>Nancy is just a little slut.
>But Sarah has now become interested in babies.
>We explain to her that she’s sterile and that she will never have babies.
>We also explain that Sarah is going to live longer than any fluffy ever, and that having babies is actually bad for her health,
>We remind her she is still going to be a wonderful aunt.
>Sarah seemed content until Nancy started talking shit.
>”SAWAH NEWWA GON HAF BABEHS. NEWWA HAF SPESHUL FWEND. NEWWA NO HOW GUD IT FEEWS TO HAF SPESHUL HUGS. SAWAH NO NO PLACE NO GUD”
>we caught nancy on webcam teasing Sarah about her infertility numerous times.
>time to get the sorry stick.

>me and another breeder take Nancy while Sarah and Harry are sleeping.
>”NUUUU WEWE TAKE NANCY. WET GO WET GO”
>”God damn dude, you weren’t kidding about her vagina, it’s huuuuuge”
>I throw her on the floor of the hall and start wailing on her.
>I needed this, I’ve fucking hated this bitch for two years. I hit the sorry stick so hard against her ribs I hear them crack.
>We take her to the dirtiest room on the farm, ‘the fucking floor.’
>over 50+ fluffies engaging in the most violent orgy you can imagine.
>Shit, cum, and blood everywhere.
>”Let’s see how good those special hugs feel now!” I throw her into the room. The grimiest colts instantly notice her.
>”Wook! Pink fwuffy haf biggiest speshul place!” one of them squealed out. She was immediately gang banged by 5 grangy fluffies.
>Her fat vagina can take 3 dicks at a time.
>Fluffies line up to fuck her.
>They’re sticking it in her ass, mouth, ears, fat folds - whatever feels good.
>I run back in and smack her with the sorry stick several more times. I hit a few of the males too.
>Nancy keeps crying and screaming, but that doesn’t stop the piles of the fluffies from mounting her.
>We turn off the lights and leave.
>”SCREEEEEEEE NUUUU NU WEVE NANCY AWONE IN DAWK! HAWP! HAWP! NO MO BAD OWCHIES IN NO NO PWACE! HAWP!”

>The next morning we explain to Sarah and Harry that their mommy was getting ready for new babies and needed to be alone.
>Sarah seemed to understand and didn’t seem suspicious. Harry didn’t seem to react at all.
>The next few months went by.
>Sarah seems healthy, but a little lonely. She just watches tv all day long, stopping only to eat and shit.
>She and Harry completely ignore each other, as if they’re avoiding each other.
>We think Sarah still judges Harry by his shit colored fluff.
>But Harry has quickly become my favorite fluffy.
>He’s quiet but creative, we brought in a couple of crayons and watercolors and Harry actually draws pretty decently.
>he drew a nice picture of his sister
>but it made Sarah cry and punch poor Harry
>”YU MAKE SAWAH UGWY. POOPEH BABEH NU GOOD”
>we needed to teach Sarah a lesson.
>we take away her tv for a week.
>she whines and whines, shitting all over the room.
>fortunately Harry finally calms her down by teaching her how to paint.
>Sarah absent mindedly becomes obsessed with drawing cute things
>Harry and Sarah find a bond sharing each others drawings.

>It’s Harry and Sarah’s 3rd birthday.
>Sarah has started watching tv again.
>Harry continues to draw and play, but Sarah seems to have given up
>FluffTV keeps showing babbeh programming
>Sarah wants to have babbehs.
>complains her vagina hurts and her titties need to be milked.
>we notice that her teets are enlarged like a typical mare and her vagina seems swollen.
>oh shit, is she not actually sterile?
>we retest again and again and she keeps coming up infertile, the Hasbio guys say Sarah’s just being dramatic and emulating what she sees on tv.
>we complain to FluffTV but apparently the ‘Bestest Mommies & Babbehs Show’ is Fluff’s 2nd most popular show behind “U Need Weggies NOW!”
>FluffTV is now banned from the Henderson household.
>the fluffies now watch Seinfeld. They like the music.
>But Sarah keeps complaining about her fucking tits and vagina.
>Wow, her tits have gotten really huge…
>I gently squeeze one, milk instantly starts gushing out.
>”FEEW GOOD DADDEH PWEEZ MO”
>No. Fucking no I’m not going down this road.
>I call the Hasbio guys.
>One of them says “well we can use some of her mother’s foals to milk her, that’d probably be the most natural way. Also we can do tests on effects of foals drinking their sister’s milk.”
>Oh shit, Nancy’s still alive?

>Apparently Nancy’s been doing well as the resident slutpig at the farm.
>She’s birthed over 2000 foals (half of them died instantly, and sometimes hilariously)
>”Should we bring Nancy back with her children then?” I asked.
> It’d be good for them to see their mother is safe.
>”Pfft, you probably don’t want them to see her like this. Come take a look at her.” They invited me to the fuck floor.
>Nancy was stuck in the corner of the room with most of the fluffies surrounding her.
>All four of her legs have been torn off. No one bothered to clean them up so her legs are scattered around her.
>Fluffies are humping her torn off legs.
>She’s so fat none of the colts can even mount her, they know she’s about to give birth.
>Nancy screams and cries.
>”BIGGEST POOPEHS!”
>She lets out the loudest wettest fart ever, 8 or 9 babies shoot out her vagina onto a blood and shit stained mattress the breeders set up.
>the colts instantly run towards the babies, trying to eat them.
>one colt instantly bites the head off what looks to be an alicorn.
>the scientists quickly grab the babies, grabbing colts as well
>they rip the bad colts apart
>they dump the babies in the new babies pit and give me two of them for Sarah.
>Nancy recognizes me on my way out
>”DADDEH? DADDEH HAWP NANCY! GIF WEGGIES BACK! NO MO SPESHUL HUGGIES. SPESHUL PWACE HUWWWT. NO MO BABEHS. NO WIKE BABEHS. NO WIKE SPESHUL HUGGIES. HAWP.”
>She farts out 4 more foals, two are immediately eaten.
>colts resume to fuck her endlessly.

>we give Sarah the two foals.
>tell her they’re Ernie’s kids and that Ernie wants her to have them.
>by the way, Ernie died a long time ago.
>He was split in half from a severe raping the first day we threw him in the breeding chamber.
>He managed to survive a couple of weeks but they weren’t pleasant.
>Sarah is ecstatic. Adores the two foals and names them Violet and Greenie.
>Sarah tries to feed the foals.
>The foals gleefully suck on her nipples, but quickly back away and start vomiting.
>her milk is sour and no good.
>we start feeding the foals with a bottle
>Sarah cries and whines that her tits and pussy still hurt.
>we take her into the operation room for testing with the Hasbio guys.
>they squeeze her teet, thick, yellowish milk comes out.
>they squeeze harder, the milk oozes out faster.
>they squeeze harder and…
>POP!
>”OWWWWWWWIES! MIWKIE PWACE HUWWWWT! OWWIES!”
>they fucking popped her tit.
>Blood, shit, and thick yellow milk covers everything.
>The Hasbio guys don’t seem concerned.
>”Just as I thought, quick - sedate her.”
>they give her a shot that knocks Sarah out.
> Hopefully traumatic experience #2 doesn’t give her too bad of PTSD…
>”She has pimple pussy. Must’ve been born with it.”
>Remember how I said it’s a miracle if a fluffy is born without an STD?
>I guess Sarah’s not a miracle.
>Pimple Pussy is a common STD among sterile fluffies. An infectious blob of bacteria forms in the fluffies barren womb that grows so big it starts festering out into the nipple and vaginal area.
>this is why Sarah’s tits and vag were so swollen.
>Sarah wasn’t producing milk, she was producing pus.

>Another 6 months has passed since the tit explosion.
>We decided to keep the foals in the Henderson room so Sarah could experience the natural instinct of being a mother.
>in order to cure Sarah’s Pimple Pussy I have to swab Sarah’s vagina every other day.
>mfw this is the only pussy i ever get to touch nowadays.
>my impotent rage is starting to affect my work.
>i’m starting to hate Sarah and the foals.
>especially the foals.
>Violet and Greenie have started bullying Harry.
>Greenie is a straight up smarty, Violet is already begging for sex.
>Sarah seems to be encouraging this behavior, telling the foals that Harry is a poopeh color.
>Harry has secluded himself to drawing sad pictures.
>one day i catch Violet shitting on Harry as he’s trying to paint.
>”POOPEH BABEH GIT SOWWIE POOPEHS”
>I pick up Violet by her armpits.
>”OWWIES WET GO OW VIOWET.”
>I feel a slight bump on my ankle.
>Greenie’s being a smarty, trying to charge into my foot.
>”SMAWTY GWEENIE GIF BIGGEST OWWIES. WET GO OF VIOWET! STUPID HOOMIN”
>I stomp on Greenie, his entrails explode, completely obliterating his midsection.
>”HUHUHUHUHHUGGGGGH”
>Sarah screams
>Traumatic experience #3
>”WAH DADDEH DOING TO BABBEHS!”
>”These are bad babies Sarah, you didn’t raise them right. This is why you can’t be a mother. You are not good enough.”
>I twist off all of Violet’s legs and choke her until her vocal chords stop working.
>I would remove her tongue but I need to replace the litterpal that’s been dead for 2 months.
>after repainting Violet brown and converter her into a litterpal, Sarah doesn’t even recognize Violet anymore as she ignorantly rubs her shit caked asshole in her baby sister’s face every day.
>Violet dies 2 months later. What a shitty litterpal.

>2 more years pass.
>I’ve admittedly started paying way more attention to Harry than Sarah.
>All Sarah does is watch Seinfeld all day long
>Harry’s so smart he can literally read now.
>Even though Harry doesn’t have wings or a horn, we think he might have the genetics of an alicorn.
>Harry is polite and I almost consider him a pet instead of an experiment, after all Sarah is the real test subject.
>I do everything for Harry. I make sure he gets good food, has the best toys, and even pick the best mares for him to fuck when his balls start swelling up.
>Despite being quite a fertile little fucker, he’s never tried mounting his sister like most male fluffies do.
>Other technicians are starting to make fun of me for how much I care about Harry.

>Approx. 1 year later
>So one of the scientists told me a really fucked up story today.
>”Hey remember George? Sounds like he finally died today.”
>What the fuck? George was still alive? I dumped him for experiments almost 6 years ago.
>Apparently he responded well to the first experiment and his infection managed to heal.
>he was used in numerous endurance tests and had a reputation for being ‘the toughest son of a bitch’ the scientists had ever seen.
>was subjected to Nazi like torture for years.
>however after around 3 years the scientists took a liking to George.
>they turned him into a sea fluffy and he became an office pet, living in a fishbowl.
>he never talked much, but when he did he would always talk about Nancy.
>one of the scientists recognized who George was talking about.
>”Hey George, i know where Nancy is, do you want to see her?”
>”WEEEEEEE YES PWEEZ TAKE GEOWGIE PWEEZ WAN SEE NANCY”
>the scientist takes George to the fucking floor and shows him what’s left of Nancy.
>”NUUUUU WHY BAD HUGGIES WHY SU BIG NANCY”
>A very pregnant Nancy notices and recognizes George.
>”GEOWGIE U AWIVE. PWEEZ HAWP NANCY. NANCY STUCK AND BAD OWWIES IN SPESHUL PLACE. NO WAN SPESHUL HUGS NO MO! TOO MANY BABEHS WAN DIE WAN DIE”
>George shook as hard as he can
>”GEOWGIE SAVE NANCY! GEOWGIE SAVE!”
>the scientist dropped George.
>right on his head.
>his skull cracks on the side of the fuck floor pen.
>his brains splash on Nancy.
>Nancy shoots out a record 21 babies out her pussy
>none of them are alive and are instantly eaten by fluffies.
>Nancy dies from massive vaginal trauma
>the colts are still using her body like the Native Americans would.

>Sarah and Harry are 10 years old now.
>Much of their fluff is gray now, but no signs of decline in health yet.
>Sarah continues to watch tv all day long while Harry has been used in harmless intelligence tests.
>Harry tests with a higher IQ than any fluffy has ever before.
>Can even read and comprehend Harry Potter novels.
>I take Harry with me everywhere. He likes to sit on my shoulder as I work.
>For once I find the stupid little things that he does… cute.
>I never use that word - cute. But I just like watching Harry play and figure out the world.
>I can actually have real conversations with Harry, besides the fluffy accent he responds so naturally.
>mfw Harry is my best friend.

>Sarah and Harry are now twelve years old.
>Sarah has experienced her first PTSD spell.
>She keeps remembering that time I washed her too hard, when I stepped on George.
>”NUU WAWA COWD. TOO COWD. HAWP!” she would keep waking up from nightmares and shitting all over herself.
>Harry tried to help.
>”Awe yu otay sistah?”
>Sarah wacks Harry away.
>”GO AWAY POOPEH”
>I grab Sarah.
>”You fucking bitch. Don’t you dare touch Harry again.”
>I squeeze Sarah, she shits and screams.
>”NUUUUU OWWWIES HUGGIES TOO HAWD HUGGIES TOO HAWD. WET SAWAH GO”
>Harry begs me to stop.
>”NU DADDEH WET SAWAH DOWN. DUN WAN WUIN ESPEWIMENT!”
>Wow, Harry seems more concerned with the experiment than his sister.
>”U NO HURT SAWAH OW SHE DIE TOO SOON. WAN SAWAH WIV WONG TIME”
>”You’re right Harry, thank you. You’re a very smart fluffy.”
>I pinch Sarah’s hoof just for one last warning shock.
>”But Sarah, you’re past the age where we need to worry about PTSD. You both have done a very good job with the experiment. You’re both very healthy and should live for much longer. But that doesn’t mean we won’t hurt you if you don’t behave. This is the most important part of the experiment and we need you two to be good, ok?”
>”SAWAH PROMISE BE GOOD.”
>”Thats good Sarah, but we’ll still have to put you in the sorry box for a few weeks until you stop having nightmares.”
>Now that Sarah’s past the age for new PSTD triggers, we have cared much less about not traumatizing Sarah.
>we keep her stuck in the sorry box for a few weeks.
>”HAWP. WEGGIES NU MOVE. WET SAWAH OUT!”
>At least we put her in front of the tv.

>Another year passes.
>Harry has become a hero for the farm.
>His superior genetics have been spliced and replicated.
>We quickly cull most of the smarty fluffies, leaving only male fluffies who respond to Harry’s genetics.
>we can now make sure every foal born has the same genetics as Harry.
>within the year over 90% of the foals are descendants of Harry.
>infant mortality rate dramatically decreases
>behavior and hygiene increase astronomically
>it’s like dealing with a brand new species.
>natural colors like brown, black, white, and blonde become the normal and favorite colors while former ‘good babeh colors’ like pink, blue, and green are rare and ostracized.
>Harry-bred fluffies become the most popular pet in the world.
>their calm demeanor and huggable fluff make them a godsend for those with mental issues(although sometimes for very dark reasons)
>no mass shootings in years
>rare Harry fluffies have become a vast world economy.
>countries are literally forgiving billion dollar debts in lieu of trading fluffies.
>religious texts are rewritten to include Harry
>no more war
>Harry is literally saving the world.

>Nancy can recite The Jacket episode of Seinfeld in its entirety (including the music)

>It’s Nancy and Harry’s 15th birthday.
>The farm has grown into the most profitable company in the world due to Harry-bred fluffies.
>Nancy and Harry live in a custom made fluffy safe mansion now and are celebrities.
>Harry’s paintings are housed at the most popular exhibit in the national museum.
>Nancy and Harry’s house becomes a tourist attraction, with tourists allowed to peep from a sun window.
>Everyone wants to watch Harry
>no one except hardcore Seinfeld fans pay attention to Nancy.
>Harry starts giving inspiring speeches about peace and the importance of the advancement in science and the arts.
>After a successful series of podcasts, Q&As, and TEDTalks, Harry is given an honorary degree in mathematics at MIT.
>We get letters everyday from people telling us that Harry’s speeches inspired them to be better.
>Whether it was finding a job, studying a passionate skill, or even not committing suicide - Harry was boosting national morale.
>Unemployment reduces drastically as the economy hits record highs.
>Not only in America, across the world.
>Harry is given the Nobel Peace Prize in 3 categories.

>We soon notice Harry wincing after riding his latest mare.
>Harry’s been moving slower as well, we assumed this was just due to old age.
>We notice Harry playing with his balls, something very out of the ordinary for him.
>We ask Harry if his special lumps hurt, he seemed embarrassed to admit it but he eventually nodded.
>We tearfully take him in for a full cat scan.
>We already know what we’re going to find.
>So does Harry.
>The whole world is watching and waiting for the results.
>Testicular cancer.

>The whole world mourns for Harry
>News stations debate whether doctors can and should save Harry
>Testicular cancer is the deadliest of fluffy cancers.
>You can try to remove it by removing the testicles, but the nerve connected to the testes goes directly to the back legs so you’d have to cut those off too.
>and that doesn’t even guarantee survival, you usually have to dig into the spine and sever the mainline nerve as well, causing excruciating pain.
>The cancer will kill the fluffy on its own within 4 days, painfully.
>We start to explain what we can try to do to keep Harry alive, but Harry interrupts us.
>”Wisten, Hawwy haf a wong and gwowious wife. Hawwy wuz happy. Hawwy wuz wuved. Hawwy changed da wowld. Hawwy wuv ewwybody in da wowld and Hawwy weaving the wowld a happiest pwace.”
>Goddamnit I’m crying. I need to say something to him but I can’t even talk.
>”Harry you’re my best f-f-fwend.”
>I pick him up and hug him.
>other scientists are tearing up.
>we’ve mercilessly murdered millions of fluffies, this is the first time we’ve actually cared about one.
>we’re a fucking wreck
>and he was getting the most humane death after a long and happy life, yet we were still heartbroken.
>fuck i don’t even remember the last time i’ve cried, but i’ve never cried harder than this
>i don’t want him to leave
>”Nu take speshul wumps away. Hawwy tiwed. Hawwy jus wan sweep.”
>i feel Harry’s tears on my shoulders, he’s silently crying.
>he winces and accidently shits a little. The cancer is eating him.
>”owwwies, su sowwy s’was ashident”
>”It’s ok Harry it’s ok. I love you ok? Everyone loves you.”
>He coos as I hug him one last time
>”I’m going to miss you so much, I don’t know what I’m going to when you’re gone.”
>”dun wowwy daddeh. Danks to yu an aww deez nice scientis, ewwybody gets a fwuffy jus wike me! Ewwybody is happy now, wowld peace is finawwy achiewved. As wong as ewwybody is happy, as wong as you wemember me, i’ll wiv fowever…”

>We euthanized Harry that day.
>He was 15 years, 5 months, 6 days, 12 minutes, and 14 seconds old.
>History’s oldest male fluffy.
>History’s best fluffy.
>I am inconsolable and given 2 months paid vacation.
>everything reminds me of Harry, especially other fluffies who now mostly look just like him.
>I adopt a fluffy, something I never thought I would ever do.
>black tri colored harry bred, looks almost like a dog. Rather rare color and well behaved.
>start feeling the joy i felt taking care of Harry.
>now i’m happy everything reminds me of Harry.

>my vacation ends
>given big applause when i return to work
>go to check on Sarah.

>oh, did you forget about Sarah? Yeah I almost did too…
>nothing much has changed. Still watching Seinfeld.
>Hard to believe she’s the real focus of this experiment, she’s so fucking boring…
>Annoying too, she keeps singing the bouncy bass parts of the Seinfeld theme song.
>She doesn’t seem to care about Harry’s death either.
>She literally sang ‘dun care!’ over and over again when I asked her about it.

>approx. 1 year later
>We’re about to break the record for oldest fluffy.
>there’s little fanfare for this achievement, this experiment has mostly been forgotten.
>Sarah is still chugging along. She doesn’t move much, but she doesn’t ever need to.
>most of her baby blue fluff has turned grey, we’ve nicknamed her ‘Ashy Larry’
>”16 years, 204 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes, 11 seconds….
>16 years, 204 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes, 12 seconds…
>16 years, 204 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes, 13 seconds! Congrats Sarah you are now the oldest fluffy to have ever lived!”
>the two other technicians give a sarcastic ‘yaaaay’
>Sarah starts to speak in an alarmingly raspy voice
>”HHHHYAAYYY HHSAWAH IS HHHHBESSSS FWUFFHHHH”
>Oh shit is she getting retarded?
>”HHHHHHHUWT BREAAAATHIES”
>she starts foaming at the mouth and shitting everywhere.
>are you fucking kidding me, she’s going to die RIGHT after she beats the record?
>fuck that, i’m keeping her alive at least another year.
>the technicians instantly recognize the signs.
>”yeah looks like she has lung cancer.”
>only way to survive that is to remove the lung and replace it.
>no. I’m not going to be like that mad scientist who kept their fluffy alive with an iron lung…
>ours will be made from aluminum.

>We quickly take her to the operation room.
>the best surgeon starts working on removing her cancerous lung.
>unfortunately she’s much too old for anesthesia.
>her screeeees become much louder as her lungs are replaced with a metal tube leading to a state of the art aluminum artificial lung on wheels.
>she’s taking the surgery pretty well besides all the screaming and crying, her vitals are fine.
>now i’m really curious just how long we can keep this bitch alive.

>Sarah is now 18 years old
>buy her a pack of cigarettes to celebrate.
>adjusting to the aluminum lung was tough at first, but she seems to have gotten used to it.
>still cries herself to sleep every night.
>not at ‘wan die’ stage yet, thank god.
>i did a bad thing today tho.
>me and Sarah were watching Seinfeld together to celebrate Sarah’s 18th birthday
>I mentioned that I wished Harry was still here.
>Sarah made an offhand remark, just saying ‘i dun, Harry was poopeh. Im gwad he forewa sweepies’’
>for some reason i just lost it.
>I punched her straight in the ribs and pinched the back of her ears as hard as i could.
>i accidentally ripped off her left ear.
>”OWWWIES NO HEWE NO HEWE HAWP”
>she detaches from her aluminum lung
>she sprints and shits across the room.
>runs with her eyes closed
>smacks into wall and breaks nose.
>right eye pops out
>”NU SEEE HAWP SAWAH HUHU SAWAH HUWTIES OWWWIES NU CAN BWEATHE”
>she steps and pops her eye.
>slips on her eye and breaks her right front leg.
>”OWWIES WEGGIES WEGGIS HUWT SCREEEEEEEEE”
>”You fucking dumbass bitch.”
>I twist and snap the broken bone
>I leave the nerve intact
>holding by the nerve I pick her up.
>”SCREEEEEEEEEEEE WOWSTEST OWWIES EWWA”
>”listen you fucking shitrat. I’ve always fucking hated your stupid ass. No one fucking cares about you. We should just kill you now but you’ve pissed me off so much i’m going to keep you alive.”
>”WHYYYYYYY DADDDEHHH WHYYYY OWWWWIES SCREEEEEE”
>”Your brother was the best thing to happen to this world and you treated him like shit! I’m through putting up with your shit! We’re doing this my way now!”
>I pinch her legs, twist, and remove them.
>”NUUUUUU NEED WEGGIES SCREEEEEEE PWEEZ GIF BACK WEGGIES!”
>”You never used them anyways bitch!”
>I grab her shit covered tail and swing her like a lasso.
>I slam her against the wall, her teeth fall out.
>”HU HU HU HU”
>i start choking the shit out her.
>”you worthless piece of shit”
>i rip her tail out, kick her face…
>she’s wheezing
>oh shit, i forgot she can’t breathe without her lung.
>I attach her to her lung
>punch her fat fucking face a few more times.
>she’s passed out.

>wow, did I just kill her? What time is it? How long did she make it? No one saw me do that right?
>I mean, the cameras surely recorded it, but no one’s gonna bother reviewing the logs for this shitty experiment…
>whatever, totally worth it. Forgot how good it felt to really lay a beating on these things.
>i don’t care about this job anymore anyways, being Harry’s caretaker made me a celebrity.
>my book/movie/merchandising deal is worth almost half a billion
>im under contract for this experiment, so i can’t quit until she’s dead.

>Sarah’s having a hard time adjusting as a pillowfluff.
>Fuck i shouldn’t even call her that, she’s not pillow-y at all
>most of her fluff has fallen off and she’s mostly skin and bones
>touching her is disgusting, you can feel her bones and the skin is sticky for some reason
>and she never shuts the fuck up
>”MISS WEGGIES WAN WEGGIES WEN WEGGIES CUM BACK?”
>every day with this shit.
>keeping her alive just so she continues to feel pain.
>Based Seinfeld keeps Sarah reasonably content though
>The theme song haunts keeps me awake at night.

>Looks like Sarah has cancer again.
>this time it’s in her brain.
>she’s almost 20 at this point.
>all her fluff is gone.
>she is one of the ugliest things anyone has ever seen.
>no one wants to operate on her, they know it’s a lost cause.
>one of the new breeders tells me about a procedure that might help Sarah live much longer.
>introduces me to a descendent of the mad scientist who previously held the record.
>ever wonder how a fluffy could possibly shit so much?
>like how can so much shit even fit inside a fluffy? Even if they haven’t eaten much?
>let me let you in on one of the biggest secrets about fluffykind…
>a fluffy’s bowels are able to create matter from scratch.
>you know the law of conservation of mass?
>matter cannot be created nor destroyed
>fluffy shit directly contradicts this.
>a fluffy’s stomach takes its substance and doubles it mass.
>it is imperative we keep fluffy population under control
>we have already fucked with the laws of science.
>we are hanging by a thread.

>anyways, we found the part of Sarah’s stomach that doubles the mass, it’s located in an upper right pocket of the large intestines
>Sarah keeps screaming throughout the procedure
>we put a tight muzzle on her and break a rib
>our theory is that if we leave the stomach open and simply feed the part of the stomach that produces matter (we’ll call it the ‘forever pocket’), the forever pocket will directly heal any cancer and Sarah’s vital organs will stay intact for years to come.
>of course this is pretty painful for Sarah, so we rip out her tongue, ear, and last eye so she can’t complain.
>as long as the heart is beating, she’s still alive.

>Sarah is now 21.
>we spilled a bunch of beer on her.
>she doesn’t do much, deaf dumb blind and immobile.
>She is cut open and splayed like a dead frog in a high school biology class.
>her forever pocket is fed kibble twice a day
>her organs still work even though her body is sliced open and her skin flaps are folded over
>you can see her whole little body system work
>she occasionally twitches and violently shits
>i think she can still feel pain.
>sometimes i’ll poke one of her organs and her whole body shakes and her throat gurgles

>So we think Sarah can possibly live forever.
>No seriously, we can exploit the forever pocket even more
>we fed the forever pocket 50lbs of kibble
>shit everywhere of course
>but we started really twisting and fucking with Sarah’s organs after feeding her the enormous amount of kibble
>we learned we didn’t even need to feed her kibble, the forever pocket could even eat dirt
>she twitched and farted quite a bit, but her organs instantly healed themselves.
>we even started removing organs, but they quickly grew back.
>now we were straight up trying to kill Sarah.
>stomping on her, ripping her apart.
>the forever pocket kept growing back her stomach, intestines/anus, heart, and brain.
>all connected by a nerve
>as long as you keep feeding the forever pocket
>all that’s left of Sarah is a pile of organs.
>we attach a tube to her anus that leads directly to the forever pocket
>meaning she can live off her shit for eternity.
>now just to put her in a safe spot.
>we make a clear, indestructible cage that keeps her organs in place.
>her brain placed in a brine chamber, heart still beating and suspended in the center, and stomach and intestines knotted up in a reasonably neat-ish manner
>It now a travels the world as a popular exhibit for museums.

>25 years have passed.
>now i’ve got lung cancer, ain’t that some shit?
>doctors say I don’t have much time left, I’ve come to peace with it.
>the farm let me retire once Sarah went on tour, went and made myself a nice little family
>hot wife, two beautiful daughters, most luxurious hospital room money can buy
>not a bad way to die.
>old partner stops by.
>”Hey Freddie, got someone who really wants to see you here.”
>He brought Sarah.
>Her cage has been painted
>its now blue and pink, with a cute little face painted on
>”They let some kindergarteners give her a little paint job, she’s doing better than ever.”
>I hold Sarah and close my eyes.
>my partner gives us some time alone.
>Sarah doesn’t make a noise except for the occasional heart beat and soft farting noise
>I think of what I’ve done to her
>I think of Harry. How he’d probably be mortified of how I’ve tortured his sister.
>I have to end this.
>my chest starts to hurt
>oh fuck, i think this is it.
>we can die together
>this is the way it was supposed to be.
>I start to open her box…

>I knew it was coming, but I was still not prepared.
>the moment Dad’s partner rushed into his room I knew he was gone…
>He was holding Sarah’s box when he passed away
>Thumb was on the open button
>He really cared for her. Probably wanted to touch her one last time.
>No matter how disgusting she was.
>The family is devastated, but it’s a bittersweet feeling after seeing Dad suffer from the cancer so long
>the world is also mourning the loss but celebrating the amazing achievements my father has done.
>with every fluffy now being Harry-bred, the fluffy population crisis has ended and my dad’s matter creation discovery has advanced modern science rapidly.
>he did this all with a bunch of fluffies
>I’m so proud to carry on his legacy
>Don’t worry Dad, we’ll make sure Sarah lives on forever…

>”It’s time for the Sarah Henderson Bicentennial Celebration! That’s right, our lovely Sarah is now 200 years old!”
>Sarah is now resting in her permanent home, a giant shrine dedicated to the advancement of modern science. She is seen a symbol for the renaissance of scientific discovery and is well known across the world.
>”And for the first time ever, we have discovered a way to translate brainwaves into speech! This means that for the first time in hundreds of years Sarah can talk!”
>the entire world is tuned in to hear what Sarah has to say after being nothing but a pile of organs for over 150 years.
>”Now folks, this is a new process and Sarah might be in a rather… catatonic state so don’t be surprised if what we hear doesn’t make much sense…if we hear anything at all…”
>Literally every tv station is tuned into live coverage of Sarah’s brainwaves being translated.
>”BZZZZZZZZT” a bunch of whirring electrical noise until finally…
>”I think we got it!”
>seinfield theme starts playing
>”IT’S GONNA BE A HIT, JEWWY!”

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