Mistakes (Soviet_Fluffy)(1)

Retrieved from the Leningrad security archives by request of the Premier

Recording taken from Akbar Karimov identity card

Muffled footsteps*

Muffled talking*

Drawer opening*

Papers rustling*

Sam Smith: found it!

Akbar Karimov: laughter* finally now hurry up or we’re going to be late!

Sam Smith: what’s this?

Akbar Karimov: what?

Sam Smith: Akbar, I didn’t know you were from the Soviet Union

Akbar Karimov: where’d you find that?

Sam Smith: in your drawer? Wait what’s wrong?

Akbar Karimov: let’s go. I don’t want to be late again.

Sam Smith: alright, you didn’t…

Akbar Karimov: Let’s go!

Sam Smith: ok jeez you don’t want to talk about it no need to shout


Door closes*


Elevator pings*

Sam Smith: so you going to the super bowl tomorrow?

Akbar Karimov: no.

Sam Smith: alright, well umm nice weather we’ve been having

Akbar Karimov: please stop talking

Sam Smith: ok, are you okay?

Akbar Karimov: I’m fine

Elevator pings*

Ambient chatter*


Sliding doors open*


Sam Smith: you want a coffee?

Akbar Karimov: no.


Ambient chatter grows louder*

CTrain pulls into station*

Sam Smith: good thing we didn’t stop for coffee

CTrain doors close*

CTrain starts*

Ambient conversion*

Sam Smith: seriously though are you okay cuz you’re never like this

Akbar Karimov: I already told you I’m fine

CTrain stops*

CTrain doors open*

CTrain doors close*

CTrain starts*

Pearl: hewwo?

Akbar Karimov: oh great, hey someone lost their fluffy here!

Robert Miller: he’s mine!

Akbar Karimov: alright!

Pearl: upsies!

Akbar Karimov: excuse me, pardon me…

CTrain stops*

CTrain doors open*

Maria Lopez: heeey Sam!

Sam Smith: hi Maria!

Maria Lopez: where’s Akbar?

Sam Smith: I don’t know, he might not get off the train

Maria Lopez: what?

Sam Smith: he’s acting really strange right now, i don’t know what’s up with him

Maria Lopez: we all have those days

Sam Smith: Well anyway, you going to see the Super Bowl tomorrow?

Pointless chatter

Sam Smith: wow, that’s a lot of security

Maria Lopez: the Soviets are trying really hard to steal our research right now

Sam Smith: but couldn’t we put all these resources into something else?

Maria Lopez: no, the Americans are paying for it

Sam Smith: oh ok, why?

Maria Lopez: well they are spending more than our entire economy on defence every year, that has to go somewhere

Sam Smith: but are they concerned about attack? We are effectively in the middle of nowhere, and didn’t we spend more on defence then the Soviets last year?

Maria Lopez: hold on, let me check that

Sliding doors open*

Maria Lopez: oh my god, we did

Sam Smith: told you

Maria Lopez: yeah we outspent them by thirteen billion American dollars

Sam Smith: wait let me see that

José Luis: What are you two lovebirds looking at?

Maria Lopez: nothing!

Sam Smith: we’re comparing Soviet defence spending to Canadian defence spending

José Luis: well Akbar’s already inside making the final preparations

Sam Smith: wait how?

José Luis: he got here ten minutes ago

Sam Smith: oh ok, see you later Maria

Maria Lopez: see ya!

Phone rings*

José Luis: hello? Hi Akbar, you sure it’s ready? Ok yeah I can go get one now, hello? Hello?

Sam Smith: he’s in a weird mood right now, don’t worry about it

José Luis: alright, well you wanna go see if you can find a fluffy

Sam Smith: ok, bet I could find one and be back here before you could get me some coffee

José Luis: challenge accepted

Sam Smith: alright here you go, now go!

José Luis: no fair!

Sliding doors open*


Sam Smith: (slightly out of breath) here we go


Sam Smith: hello fluffy would you like a new home?

Coca: sniff* nyu housie?

Sam Smith: yeah sure

Coca: buh poopie nebah had housie befowe

Sam Smith: alright so you want one now?

Coca: yes!

Sam Smith: ok then I’ll carry you to it

Coca: upsies!

Sam Smith: oof* you are a lot heavier then you look


Sliding doors open*

José Luis: I see that you took your time

Sam Smith:(heavily out of breath), how, panting*, how did you, panting*

José Luis: I have my ways, here’s your coffee and I’ll take that

Sam Smith: thanks, I just need to sit for a second and rest

José Luis: take your time

Coca: nyu daddeh?

José Luis: sure alright

Coca: yay!

José Luis: for now i will call you Coca

Sliding doors open*

Connor O’Connor: you see I told you I’d be fine,cough* they didn’t even try to stop me, talk with you later, bye

Sam Smith: hello

Connor O’Connor: hi, would you happen to know where lab 47 is?

Sam Smith: yeah, that’s the lab I’m working in, I can take you there right now, just give me a second to catch my breath

Connor O’Connor: thanks

Sam Smith: alright let’s go


Door opens*

Stairs clang*

Connor O’Connor: Hacking cough*

Door opens*


Door opens*

Coco: nu wan sowwy!….

Lid clangs shut*

Connor O’Connor: this is it?

Sam Smith: yeah?

Connor O’Connor: it’s a lot smaller than I thought

José Luis: Hey Sam, who’s that?

Connor O’Connor: I’m the one representing the people who are backing this project

José Luis: Oh

Door opens*

Sofia Schmidt: hey anyone seen Akbar?

José Luis: no, why?

Sofia Schmidt: I cannot find him anywhere, he said that we are ready

Connor O’Connor: you’re ready? So can I see it work?

Sofia Schmidt: And who are you?

José Luis: he’s representing the people who are backing this project

Sofia Schmidt: alright fine, no promises though

Connor O’Connor: I understand

Sofia Schmidt: come outside

Door closes*

Sofia Schmidt: alright Sam and José are here, just missing Akbar

Sam Smith: he’s in a weird mood, don’t worry about him

Sofia Schmidt: ok, test subject in place?

José Luis: yep

Sofia Schmidt: alright, everyone ready?

José Luis: yep

Sam Smith: absolutely

Connor O’Connor: yes

Sofia Schmidt: 3, 2 ,1

Keyboard click*

Connor O’Connor: did it work?

Sofia Schmidt: give it a few seconds, now we check

Door opens*

Lid opens*

Sam Smith: it’s gone!

Connor O’Connor: what’s that smell?

Sofia Schmidt: really? Yes!

José Luis: yes! Oh My God Finally!

Connor O’Connor: What’s back here?

Sofia Schmidt: oh don’t worry about that that’s Akbar’s stuff

Connor O’Connor: there’s someone back here

Sam Smith: What?

Sofia Schmidt: oh no oooooh shit

Connor O’Connor: no one panic, Sam? right?

Sam Smith: yes

Connor O’Connor: see if you can get him out of there

Sam Smith: ok

Sofia Schmidt:(panicking) oh no oh no oh no

Connor O’Connor: you, see if you can get help, i’ll call an ambulance

José Luis: on it

Phone dialing*

Connor O’Connor: hello? I have a potential medical emergency here, at the university, lab 47

Sam Smith: ow!

Connor O’Connor: you ok?

Recording error, skipping to next relevant part

Door opens*

Sam Smith: how is he?

Andrea Garcia: who?

Sam Smith: Akbar, Akbar Karimov?

Andrea Garcia: ok give me a second, he came in two weeks ago with a stroke and minor chemical burns?

Sam Smith: that’s him

Andrea Garcia: he’s doing, well it’s complicated

Sam Smith: how so?

Andrea Garcia: well you have to see for yourself

Sam Smith: ok


Door closes*

Akbar Karimov: hello!

Sam Smith: you’re ok, relieved laughter* you’re ok

Akbar Karimov: yes fluffy is alright

Sam Smith: I kn… Wait what?

Andrea Garcia: he’s not all there anymore, he thinks he’s a fluffy

Akbar Karimov: Coca am the best fluffy!

Sam Smith: oh no

Andrea Garcia: come again?

Sam Smith: no no no

Andrea Garcia: are you ok?

Sam Smith: Hyperventilating*

Andrea Garcia: sir?

Frantic footsteps*

Door slamming open*

Frantic footsteps*

Sliding doors open*

Frantic footsteps*

Puddles splashing*

Sam Smith: heavy breathing*

Dumpster clang*

Sam Smith: Sobbing*

Cottonball: hewwo?

Sam Smith: not now

Cottonball: hooman hab sad wawas?

Sam Smith: go away

Cottonball: nu whats wwong?

Sam Smith: we Sniff* we killed him sobbing*

Cottonball: its otay’ wet aww dah saddies out

Sam Smith: sobbing*

Recording cut because my god premier you took your time and he did not stop crying

Connor O’Connor: Sam?

Sam Smith: Sniff* you again

Connor O’Connor: I saw akbar in hospital, we know what happened to him

Sam Smith: yeah me too

Connor O’Connor: We’ve been trying to do that for almost a decade now

Sam Smith: what?

Connor O’Connor: let me introduce myself properly, i am Connor O’Connor Premier of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics

Cottonball: Yawn*

Connor O’Connor: and i need the full test results

Sam Smith: Why should I give it to you?

Connor O’Connor: We funded your whole project?

Sam Smith: Sniff* get it yourself.

Connor O’Connor: we don’t have clearance

Sam Smith: its a public place

Connor O’Connor: was, now the americans only want students and administrators on campus

Sam Smith: yeah fuck you

Connor O’Connor: cough* i wasn’t asking

Sam Smith: and i’m refusing

Connor O’Connor: i don’t have time for this

Phone dialing*

Connor O’Connor: he’s not coming


Device clicks*

Cottonball: daddeh?

Giorgi Abakelia: got it

Connor O’Connor: you gonna grab him

Giorgi Abakelia: no just needed his student id

Connor O’Connor: so, you, Sigh*

Cottonball: gu way meanie hooman

Giorgi Abakelia: can i get rid of it

Connor O’Connor: fine be quick with it

Giorgi Abakelia: thank you premier

Cottonball: Bad upsies!

Giorgi Abakelia: we’re gonna have some fun

Connor O’Connor: irritated sigh*

Giorgi Abakelia: some pretty fur you got there

Connor O’Connor: just kill it already

Giorgi Abakelia: where’s the fun in that?

Connor O’Connor: Cough* just hurry up

Giorgi Abakelia: premier?

Connor O’Connor: the planes leaving in two hours, be on it

Giorgi Abakelia: yes premier

Connor O’Connor: Coughing*

Giorgi Abakelia: two hours, plenty of time

Ripping sound*

Cottonball: Skree!

Giorgi Abakelia: you like that?

Distant clang*

Giorgi Abakelia: oh shit, premier!



Cottonball: crying in that really annoying way that fluffies do*

Giorgi Abakelia: premier? What? Why Uzbekistan? we are literally a block away from a hospital, yeah of course, yes premier on it!

Phone dials*

Giorgi Abakelia: zero zero fifty six, no he needs to get to uzbekistan, don’t question it that’s what he said

Sam Smith: groans*

Car pulls into alley*

Giorgi Abakelia: he’s good? Alright go!

Car pulls away*

Giorgi walks away*

Sam Smith: my head

Cottonball: pwetty fwuff am gone

Sam Smith: it’s not that much

Cottonball: daddeh otay’?

Sam Smith: yes, my head is just a little fuzzy

Cottonball: su am we goin’ to youw house?

Sam Smith: my? Oh no

Cottonball: what’s the mattah?

Sam Smith: I’m going to have to take care of both you and Akbar now, depressed sigh* why do I do this to myself?

Relevant recordings from [REDACTED]

Door knock*

Connor O’Connor: entew

Giorgi Abakelia: one of the junior scientists is here, he says Katya is ready for you

Connor O’Connor: i’ww be wite down

Giorgi Abakelia: you sure?

Connor O’Connor: I can wawk down some staiws wike a functiona… 'ou know what can 'ou cawwy me?

Giorgi Abakelia: of course premier


Hulagu Ganbaatar: uhh

Giorgi Abakelia: don’t question it

Hulagu Ganbaatar: But that’s a…

Giorgi Abakelia: i said don’t question it

Hulagu Ganbaatar: alllllright then, follow me


Door opens*

Katya Preobrazhensky: ahh premier, who’s the cutest fluffy

Connor O’Connor: stop dat.

Katya Preobrazhensky: but you are just so cute

Connor O’Connor: I sweaw fwuffy wiww hab 'ou kiwwed

Katya Preobrazhensky: laughter*

Connor O’Connor: I’m not jokin’

Katya Preobrazhensky: oh, uhh

Connor O’Connor: nao, ‘ou goin’ to show me it in action?

Katya Preobrazhensky: of course premier, if you don’t need to be here, clear the room!

Keyboard clicking*

Katya Preobrazhensky: everyone behind shielding?

General assent*

Katya Preobrazhensky: would you like to do the honours premier?

Connor O’Connor: am ‘ou stoopi’?

Katya Preobrazhensky: oh right

Keyboard click*


Katya Preobrazhensky: it worked!

Connor O’Connor: of couwse someone ewse awweady did it, stiww 'ou did gud, Giowgi, estabwish a foothowd,soon we wiww hab mowe wesouwces den we know what to do wiff

Giorgi Abakelia: yes premier

Connor O’Connor: awso get fwuffy weady fo’ bwiefin’ to dah sobiet peopwe, time to show dah Amewicans ouw scientific pwowess

Giorgi Abakelia: on it

Authors note
This is my first time posting and if you actually read through that incoherent dumpster fire, well thank you
any feedback is appreciated


while the log style is neat, the lack of descriptions makes it hard to understand what exactly happened. maybe you should stick to a video log next time?
btw what happened?


A brief summary is that Akbar gets stuck in his thoughts remembering his time in the soviet union, then he has a stroke while working on some piping after that they take him to the hospital where they find that their machine did a bit more then they thought. after that Connor finds Sam weeping in an alley, after that he has a heart attack and is airlifted to Uzbekistan where we replicate the mistake and get it to work constantly.

next time I’ll add more ambient sound effects
thank you for the feedback


thx. also, what the machine was supposed to do?


a portal


Ahhhhhhhhh, I see