murrica caricature (by: artist-kun)

I don’t think it matters what someone is eating if their blood alcohol level is so high that their blood can be used as jet fuel.

Don’t Russian soldiers actually drink jet fuel? I remember reading about that somewhere. That stuff’s pretty much pure ethanol, and they don’t bother to denature it because… well, it wouldn’t stop the soldiers from drinking it.

well, that’s where you are wrong. as professionals told me, it is important what you eat. cheese for vines, sausage for medium stuff, pickles (or anything salty) for the hard stuff. there is a more complex formula, but it is unknown to me.

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Yeah, but you’re talking about staying awake, right? That’s what you said, you eat pickles to stay awake after ten bottles.

I don’t think being wide awake makes someone fireproof. I really hope that having a high blood alcohol level doesn’t actually make someone more flammable, because if it does, Russia is one big fire hazard waiting to happen. Generally speaking, Russians like to drink as much as Americans like to eat.

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In my headcanon, no. In my headcanon, raw fluffy (unless very carefully raised) can contain parasites that do horrible things to the human body, that make even what that burger would do to your arteries and colon look positively healthy.

That is sadly accurate.

Well the guy was hunger and the fluffy was stupid enough to think the owner want him for love and hugs.