Natural Selection Part 2
Paul arrived home and waved at his neighbor, before carrying the fluffy carriers inside. Putting them up on his work bench he opened the carriers, and picked the pillow-fluff by its mane. Immediately the creature started to “SCREEEE…bad upsies!”.
The smarty started to demand “sketties” and tell the two brown mares they were “dummeh poopie fluffies dat get no sketties neber!” Paul was tempted to just kill the obnoxious creature now to make it shut up, but he would wait. At home, Paul has a lot of reptiles he keeps as legitimate pets. Once a month, he feeds them, and the fluffies he has around at the time get eaten. The smarty would be perfect for his Burmese python.
Paul left the pillow-fluff on his work bench and returned the brown soon-mummah to her carrier, and picked up the smarty by his mane.
“Nuuuu bad upsies!!! Wet fluffy go noa!!! Gib ou sowwy hoovsies dummeh hoomin!!!” As the fluffy bare taps Paul’s hand in its ridiculous attack.
Paul walking into the next room with the smarty in hand, he walks up to a larger terrarium, and opens the door. He puts the smarty down on the tile floor as it made demands for “sketties noa!” and puffed its cheeks. Having smelled a fluffy nearby a 13 foot Burmese python slithered out of its open terrarium and towards the fluffy.
The smarty having seen what was coming at him made scaredy-poopies while babbling.
“pwese no gib fluffy forever sweepies munstah!!!” As the smarty tried to turn and get away the python struck nailing the smarty on the leg, and quickly taking it into its coils. The smarty managed to mutter “worstest hurties!!!” SCREEEEeeee…" as the coils tightened again and flushed all the air out of the fluffy’s lungs. Subtle crunching sounds could be heard as the coils tightened again. The fluffy’s front hooves twitched around randomly as its eyes bulged. Shortly after snake released the lump fluffy and began to consume it.
Paul went back to the remaining two fluffies, and grabbed the “soon-mummah” by the mane and lead her into his reptile collection. The foals even unborn will still make good meals for my smaller snakes, Paul thought. Paul sat the fluffy on a table in his reptile room, and grabbed a sharp pocket-knife from his pocket. The entire time the fluffy is begging and reasoning for its life.
“Am soon-mummah gib babbehs huggies an wub an bestest milkies cuz all babbehs ams special babbehs…”
This rant was cut short as Paul plunged his knife into the abdomen of the fluffy, and made a 5 inch incision. The foals began to fall out of the fluffy as the “mummah” ranted about “gibbing babbehs biggest huggies an bestest milkies!”
Paul casually picked up three foals which had fallen out of the “mummah”, as they cheeped. One by one he opened a ball python enclosure, and dropped one in. Shortly after the snake was coiled around foal that died with the strike.
Then he did the same for his rattlesnake, that promptly bit the foal on the face silencing the cheeps. The last one he dropped into his Indian cobra terrarium that was striking at the foal in seconds.
The “mummah” who had nearly bled to death on the table, was still muttering things about “babbehs huggies an milkies”. Paul picked up the fluffy by the mane and tossed her inside the large aquarium housing his 4 foot American alligator. The alligator immediately went for the bleeding fluffy dragging it violently under the water spilling as it dove. With a few quick chomps the alligator consumed the fluffy.
Just then Paul heard the last fluffy scream out “biggest poopies!!!”. Paul thought “just in time! I don’t have to dirty my knife again”. Paul had an idea that would be entertaining and feed his two monitor lizards. He fashioned a rope around his ceiling fan and suspended the pillow-fluff with a few strings, around each stump like a pinata.
Michael playfully pinched a stump, “Nuuu touchie fluffy der!!” as the fluffy began to swing. “Am soon-mummah nice munstah pwese wet go so fluffy can hab babbehs am gib milkies?” Paul let his two monitor lizards out, each approximately 2 feet long. They quickly assembled below the birthing fluffy suspended. The fluffy looks down and sees them, “Munstahs!!! nooooo go way munstahs fluffy nuu wan!!..SSSSSCCCCRREEEEE!!!” as one of the foals slowly emerges.
The fluffy reacts by screaming “nuuuu am safe to come outie babbeh ther munstahs!!!” as the first foal hits the ground and is immediately ripped to shreds as each of the monitors takes a portion of the foal and then rips it in half. The lizards quickly consume their portion of the foal and eagerly look up for more. The next three foals, four in total, are torn apart in a similar fashion. Paul took a mental note that the foals from this fluffy and the previous were mostly bad colors with some dull acceptable colors. It made sense, the soon-mummahs were passing on their defective genes to the foals. Nothing of value was lost, he thought.
He picked up the pillow-fluff which was “huhh huhhing” about the loss of her “babbehs” while she rambled on about “gibbing bestest huggies to bestest babbehs”. Paul lifted a portion of a large aquarium and dropped her in as his pet snapping turtle chomped down on drowning fluffy that “SCCCCREEEEE!!!” under water leaving a trail of bubbles. The fluffy twitched for a few seconds trying to get back up while in the turtle’s jaws. The turtle snapped its beak and cut the fluffy in half, before quickly devouring both halves.
Paul thought, "Well that was fun. Maybe I’ll see if the no-kill shelter on the other side of town has any fluffies for me tomorrow. Paul went to bed that night mildly amused with his antics.