Hello, hello, and welcome back to NobodyAtAll Literary Universe 101.
Or NLU 101 for short.
For those of you who are just joining us: this is a series meant to initiate new readers to the NobodyAtAll Literary Universe.
Last time, we talked about Phenomenon X, that mysterious phenomenon which bestows humans and fluffies with superpowers.
Today, we’ll be talking about something much more fluffy-related.
That’s what you’re here on FluffyCommunity for, isn’t it?
You see, there are a number of well-known subspecies of fluffy that exist across headcanons. These subspecies exist in the NLU too, but not exactly as you know them.
The many bizarre fantastic elements existing in this universe have influenced fluffykind in ways not usually seen in other headcanons. Humans and fluffies are far from alone here.
So today, we’ll be covering how these subspecies differ from most headcanons.
Let’s get started, shall we?
We’ll be starting with…
GARDEN FLUFFIES
Garden fluffies in the NLU are quite different from what you may expect.
For starters, they’re not as slow on the uptake, and their origins are rather…
Supernatural.
It’s going to get a bit spoiler-y from here, but I’ll try to keep the spoilers to a minimum.
The first garden fluffies were originally ordinary feral fluffies, transformed by a self-proclaimed Goddess of Nature, and her servant, who was a plant elemental. And totally not just a plant golem.
The Goddess of Nature and her servant transformed the fluffies using her divine power. Yep, definitely divine power.
The garden fluffies transformed by the Goddess of Nature were soulless drones, enslaved to her will, used by her to spy on her enemies, and then used as foot soldiers when she finally made her move.
And before you ask how useful fluffies can be as foot soldiers: garden fluffies in the NLU can transform further, into a monstrous, humanoid form, but this requires vast amounts of raw power.
Such as, say, the power of an Omega Class. Something the Goddess’ servant could arrange in the right circumstances…
I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking, “But NobodyAtAll, why would a goddess even need an Omega Class?”
That is an excellent question.
Moving on!
The Forces of Nature, as the Goddess of Nature called them, were all destroyed (see the Forces of Nature Saga, obviously), but later on, the garden fluffy subspecies would get a second chance.
Floris Hazelweiss the druid, who lives in a forest in England, eventually used druidic magic to transform a feral fluffy who had been grievously injured, the transformation into a garden fluffy being the only way to save the fluffy the druid had. The transformed fluffy, named Herb, retained his soul and his free will.
There are different kinds of magic in the NLU, you see. The magic used by druids is different from that used by wizards and witches. Perhaps we’ll cover the different kinds of magic in a future installment.
After that, Floris transformed another fluffy, Flora, and Herb and Flora did what fluffies do best: make more of themselves.
Floris did the same for every fluffy he found and couldn’t save with more conventional means. Some of the newly transformed garden fluffies eventually wandered off, and from there began spreading across the UK.
They’ve even made it to Europe. Somehow.
So it’s only a matter of time before they spread across the planet.
And again, before you ask:
Floris is the only druid powerful enough to force that monstrous transformation, and he can only manage one at a time.
So relax.
MICRO FLUFFIES
Wait, wait, wait. Something got messed up.
I know we’re going to talk about micro fluffies, but the title doesn’t need to be micro.
Hold on, folks. Seems we’ve got a technical issue going on.
Gimme a second…
MICRO FLU–
Stop, stop! Now it’s too big! Cut! CUT!!!
Sorry about this, folks. Let’s try again, shall we?
Third time’s the charm, right?
Here goes…
MICRO FLUFFIES
Ah, there we go. Much better.
Alright, let’s keep moving, and I’d be grateful if you guys forget what just happened.
Ah-he-hem!
Micro fluffies in the NLU were engineered by Dr. Alex Ginger, gifted geneticist and nephew of a maniacal ex-Hasbio scientist who attempted to genocide fluffykind. If you want to know how that worked out for him, see “Fluffycide: Sorry, We’re Closed!” for more.
Alex is much nicer than his uncle, believe me. He’s a ChaotiX member too, working with the Nerd Squad, a ChaotiX squad devoted to scientific matters.
All those gadgets the ChaotiX uses don’t invent themselves, y’know. While a lot of those gadgets are things Calvin or other team members requested or suggested, the Nerd Squad does the legwork to make those ideas happen.
Alex created the micro fluffies by using the DNA of Hank, an X-Positive fluffy with the power to grow and shrink.
All he really had to do was engineer fluffies that start off shrunken and can’t change their size.
And the first micro fluffies weren’t created for humans. They were created for a clan of pictsies, a race of blue-skinned humanoids who stand about six inches tall on average. The clan, lead by one Skull-Crackin’ Angus, also a ChaotiX member alongside his friends in the Warriors Four, lives in an old burial mound, so, while they wanted fluffies as pets, a regular fluffy wouldn’t fit inside their home.
Of course, there’s quite a few humans who have taken interest in the micro fluffies, and Flufftopia, the leading fluffy store in this headcanon, caters to them too, with the classic habitats filled with nutrigel. In a wide variety of colors and flavors, because Flufftopia is all about outdoing the competition and pleasing the customers.
And if you think that’s bizarre enough…
AQUAFLUFFIES
Aquafluffies have already been covered in the story “Return to Facility X-88”, but we’ll be covering them again here.
Again, aquafluffies in the NLU are a Nerd Squad creation. This time it was Dr. Valerie Valentine, daughter of Dr. Pierre Faucheuse and leader of the Nerd Squad, who created them.
Valerie believes that specialising is for idiots. She encourages the Nerd Squad to be versatile.
What sets aquafluffies in the NLU apart from their counterparts in other headcanons is the inclusion of extraterrestrial DNA in their genome.
Yes, aliens are a thing in this headcanon too. There’s a list of all the races in the NLU.
Specifically, the DNA of the Hydroxians, a race of fish-like humanoids hailing from the distant planet of Hydrox.
No, it has nothing to do with the cookie.
Hydrox’s surface is covered with even more water than Earth, and, while Hydroxians can live on dry land, they must frequently immerse themselves in water to survive. Land Hydroxians, who, as the name implies, have been living on Hydrox’s few landmasses long enough to have adapted, have to do so less often than their sea-dwelling brethren.
But it’s still a necessity. So wherever Land Hydroxians live, you’ll find lots of water features, and nobody who will be surprised if someone suddenly jumps into the canal. Odds are that everyone else has done that too. And their houses have baths in every room, baths being a fundamental part of their culture. They sleep in baths.
You can probably imagine what would most likely happen if a Hydroxian adopted an ordinary fluffy.
It’s a very stale meme, after all.
Of course, it wouldn’t be fair if Hydroxians couldn’t have fluffies as pets. Hence the aquafluffies.
Flufftopia caters to them, too. Aquafluffies have a preference for seafood, so there’s fish-flavored kibble for them. The pieces of kibble are fish-shaped.
There’s plenty of humans who have adopted aquafluffies too. They’re popular in coastal regions. And on boats.
And aquafluffies aren’t the only fluffy species in the NLU with alien DNA.
There’s also stone fluffies, who won’t be covered here. We’re discussing fluffy subspecies that exist in other headcanons too, and stone fluffies are, at the time of writing, exclusive to the NLU.
But they’re also covered in “Return to Facility X-88”, if you want to know more.
Let’s just say that they’re a lot boulder than most fluffies.
Don’t expect any apologies for that pun.
There’s a lot of puns in this headcanon.
HELLGREMLINS
We all know that the disposition of fluffies depends on headcanon.
The classic fluffy is sweet, cute, innocent, friendly and caring, but then there’s the hellgremlin headcanons, where fluffies are obnoxious, screeching brats that shit everywhere, demand sketties constantly, and might as well be wearing “ABUSE ME” signs.
Of course, bratty fluffies pop up in most headcanons. Even the most hugboxy headcanons can have stories about a loving owner dealing with an recalcitrant smarty.
But then there’s the headcanons where most, if not all fluffies are hellgremlins, which begs the question:
What kind of sick bastard would inflict such unspeakable horror upon the Earth, and to what end?!?
Well, in the NLU, there’s a logical answer to that question:
A group of sick bastards who were already inflicting unspeakable horrors upon the Earth.
What’s one more?
In World War II, a top secret Nazi scientific facility headed by Dr. Hans Stahlberg and Dr. Gerald Eierkopf worked on Projekt Höllengremlin. (Among a lot of other things.)
The goal was to create a species as absolutely irritating as humanly possible, so the Axis Powers could annoy their enemies into surrendering.
In Timeline-1989, the “main” timeline, the project was a complete and utter failure. All but one of the Höllengremlins were destroyed, and Hans took the sole survivor, HG-420, with him when he gleefully abandoned the Nazis near the end of the war.
In Timeline-1888, the project was a rousing success, and the Höllengremlins were a big part of the Axis’ victory. (Along with a certain other product of that facility.)
They have to win in at least one timeline. So they don’t win in other timelines.
Yes, alternate timelines are a thing in the NLU too. There’s even a handy list of all of the timelines that have been seen or mentioned so far. In the Supplementary Material section of the catalog, with that list of all of the races. Lots of interesting tidbits in that section!
Why Hans brought HG-420 with him is a riddle for the ages. It’s safe to say that HG-420 is long dead by the present day, and Hans isn’t really in a position to give interviews anymore.
So yeah. Biotoys weren’t exactly Hasbio’s idea in the NLU.
In fact, they weren’t even the Nazis’ idea.
Both Hasbio and the Nazis were subconsciously remembering something that never was.
Well, misremembering.
But that’s a whole other story.
CLOSING
Naturally, these are far from the only fluffy subspecies in the NLU. There are other unique varieties like the stone fluffies, and you can learn more about them in “Facility X-88” and “Return to Facility X-88”.
Then there are other species of biotoy, but we don’t have time to go into that today.
Today, it was just about the fluffy subspecies that exist across many headcanons, and how they differ in the NLU.
And now, you have a better idea of just how crazy things can be in this headcanon.
Trust me, we’ve barely scratched the surface.
Once again, I hope that this has been informative, and feedback is welcome. If there’s a certain topic you wish to see covered in a future installment of NLU 101, please, let me know. Help me help you.
This concludes the second installment of NobodyAtAll Literary Universe 101.
Until next time, readers, and remember…
Stay fluffy!
Hmm.
I think it needs more work.