Found this in my WIP folder, totally forgot about it. Inspired by this post.
“Fastah, weggies!” the tubby blue stallion cried, waddling along the sidewalk as fast as he could. “Nee’ sab’ famwy! Nu hab tiem fo’ sweepies nao!”
He stumbled around a corner, hitting the sun-warmed pavement with a small squeak that caught the attention of a police officer eating his lunch on a nearby bench.
“Oh hey, I know you!”
“Nice Mistah Offisah, fwuffy nee’ hewp!” the stallion cried. “Meanie huwtin’ famwy!”
“Again? Alright, show me.” He rolled down the top of his chip bag and stood to follow the feral stallion.
“Hoofsies hab’ biggest huwties! Pwease upsies?”
“No.” The uniformed man said firmly. “You’re a big fluffy, I only carry little fluffies.”
“Huu…” the stallion bit back tears before turning to retrace his steps. “Dis way!”
A fluffy’s top speed is little more than a leisurely stroll for a human, so the pair took some time to get to the alleyway the stallion lived in. Just before turning the corner the officer heard many small, muffled grunts of pain and fear echoing against the brick.
“Afternoon!” The officer called, stepping over a low plastic fence stretched over the entrance of the alley.
A ways down a teenager in a hoodie jumped, dropping a pocket knife and a bloody mare onto a tarp at his feet. “Uh… Hi… Sir…”
“Munstah nu huwt famwy! Fwuffy teww Offisah!!” he said, wriggling through the side of the portable fence.
“Now hang on there, little guy.” The officer said. “You’ve got a good setup here.”
“Uh, yeah…” the teen stepped back from the injured mare. “I don’t like making a mess, you know?”
“That’s good! Any chance you know if these are domestics or not?”
“Oh, yeah.” The teen turned to rummage through his backpack, pulling out a small black device. “I scanned them for chips before I got started.”
“You mind if I take a look in there?” The officer took the bag, giving it a quick inspection. “Just want to make sure you don’t have anything too dangerous.”
“Absolutely, sir.”
After a bit of rummaging the cop nodded and set the backpack down. “Alright, looks like everything’s fine here, sorry to interrupt you!”
“Buh… wha’?!” The stallion protested. “Am munstah! Gib famwy huwties!!”
“Ain’t against the law.”
“Buh yu hewp fwuffy befowe!! Yu nice Mistah Offisah!! Hewp fwuffy!!”
“That was different.”
“Nu diffewent!! Sab’ famwy!!”
The stallion clamped his teeth down on the officer’s pant leg. He sighed and scruffed the portly stallion.
“The guy who stomped your family was making a racket and a mess.” He gestured widely at the portable fence and tarp on the ground. “This kid has a tarp down to catch any biohazardous fluids, he put up a fence to keep any animals or people out of the way, he’s even got the mare’s mouth taped shut so he’s not bothering anyone. I don’t see any issues here.”
“N-nu! He bodewin’ fwuffies!!”
“Well, since you don’t have an owner this young man can do whatever he wants with you.”
“Nuuuuu!” The stallion wailed. “Nu wan’ spechow fwend hab huwties!! Wai nice Mistah Offisah su meanie? Am guud fwu-”
The officer clamped his hand around the fluffy’s mouth, rolling his eyes.
“You mind gagging this one too?”
“Of course!”
Struggling, the stallion sobbed as electrical tape was wrapped around his muzzle and then his legs, hog tying him.
“When you’re done there’s a biowaste bin two blocks down from here.” The officer wiped his hands on his jacket before unrolling his chip bag. “You have a good day, son.”
“Thanks, officer!”
The teen waved the officer off before picking up his pocket knife once again.
“Now, have you ever heard the phrase ‘snitches get stitches’?”
The blue stallion’s eyes were wide and locked onto the tip of the knife as it approached his face.