Origin of the Faeces (Captain_Emo)

Origin of the Faeces

Did you know that a fluffy nose is far more sensitive than our own?

You did? It figures considering you can class fluffies as “sensitive” to everything.

But that nose actually has a use.

And it’s for the purposes of identification. Especially their young.

A mare, once given birth, will pick each foal up and lick them clean. An important part of the bond, without it they’re more likely to be rejected, especially if the mare hasn’t given birth.

This helps them identify the foals as their own, the mare will know their taste and scent.

It’s hard to say how the initial fluffies were first created and the exact process how, but online papers surfaced which showed how fluffies went from tiny, tiny horses to close to what we see today.

The very first ones you could call “fluffies” were originally based on rabbits and horses.

Fluffies are not their own animal, they’re essentially borrowed parts from other animals, the base of which was horse and rabbit DNA (with rodent added to devastating effects later on in their development).

That rabbit DNA is still very much there.

A mare had given birth quite recently, she had a litter of 6 of which 2 were stillborn.

She had gone through the process of cleaning her babies after her body had deflated.

She cried over her dead foals. She wasn’t a good mummeh.

One of the dead was a blue wingie babbeh. Just like her. She would’ve been bestest babbeh.

As she was a feral, and food was scarce around the alley she had settled. She ate one. The poopie babbeh. Milk for the remaining 3. She was happy she could feed them.

She would be a good mummeh.

And then in time she had to consume another foal. The yellow fur colour had saved him at first but his deformed hind legs would not save him from selection this time.

She cried this time. Was she a good mummeh or a bad mummeh? She did not know. She wished she had a daddy who could tell her.

All that remained of her litter were 2 foals. By this point they could walk, the mare was happy that this time there was food about.

Her remaining foals were a horned blue coloured male (bestest babbeh) and a purple coloured earthie female.

They loved their mummehs huggies and milkies. Bestest and the other Babbeh were both danceh Babbehs. She felt so happy to see them dance.

One night after foraging, the mare had settled behind a dumpster. There was no food laying around it, and no way to get in. they were hungry but they were sleepy too.

Blue hornie couldn’t sleep. Tummy hewties. He had to get up. He wanted to play too. But sissy and mummeh were both sleepies. Dummehs he thought, he would be a smarty babbeh and he was bestest babbeh.

Maybe he could find food.

So he wandered and wandered, searching for nummies or maybe a daddeh for warmsies and huggies and nummies.

He didn’t find any.

Instead something found him.

A bawkie munstah had looked down on the blue hornie.

The bawkie munstah had just looked down on the foal.

The foal wasn’t scared, he was a smarty!

“Wan pway hav nummies?”

The bawkie munstah bit down on the foal, boo-boo juice and poopies had come out of the foal. Tears too.

He was scared now.

And then he was gone, disappeared into the bawkie munstah’s belly.

In the morning, the mare and her last foal woke up. Where was bestest babbeh??!!

The mare had panicked and began to cry. She didn’t move as her last foal had gave her huggies for heawt hewties. She was a bad mummeh but she didn’t want to be a bad mummeh.

Bestest Babbeh had left her as she was a bad mummeh.

The mare eventually moved, hunger called and she had to find nummies for herself to give milkies to her wastest babbeh.

She was now bestest and lastest, she would be a good mummeh to wastest babbeh.

It was many hours later, the mare had found some nummies, discarded fries and half eaten cheeseburgers, she ate these and was able to produce milk for wastest babbeh. Wastest babbeh suckled all the milk she could, she had so many tummy hurties.

The breeze blew through the alley way, it was a cool breeze and it would be cold time soon.

She hoped to find a daddeh for herself and wastest Babbeh.

What was that on the breeze??

Was it bestest??

She could smell her bestest babbeh.

Maybe he was close!!!

The mare had picked herself up and the foal had followed.

The foal followed the mare, the mare her nose twitching with the breeze. Bestest was here but why poopie smell?

She found the source of the smell, bestest Babbeh.

Bestest Babbeh was now a pile of dog crap.

She recognised the smell of him.

He was now poopies.

She began to wail and cry.

She had picked up the dog shit and began to hug it hoping bestest Babbehs hurties would be cured and he would be bestest babbeh again and not poopie.

“Nuuuuu bwuddaa!!!” The wastest babbeh wailed.

She had given her mother huggies for her heart hurties.

And there in the alleyway was the dogshit covered mare wailing away in the middle of the evening.

And you wonder why people don’t adopt these things?

Sadly she would have no more foals soon, but the last foal would have a better life.

She was taken in by the father of a young girl. It wasn’t long after they left the alleyway. Wastest was still small.

The girl named her twilight and she had pretty purple colours.

The Daddeh had plucked the filly from the mare. The mare had held her up. “Sav Babbeh pwee daddeh”.

Twilight would have a good life.

The mare was a Pegasus type? Why was she not taken in?

Might be because of the fact she was covered in dog crap.

Fluffies aren’t known for their hygiene.

The dog crap didn’t help at all.

Thankfully the daddy who had taken the foal knew how to look after fluffies and the foal was given cleanies, vaccinations and nummies.

She would be neutered and would live a happy life with her mini mummeh Ivy.

The mare cried herself to sleep. Her poopie bestest Babbeh was smeared on her body and he would always give her huggies and never leave her.

A little known fact about rabbits is that they can smell their relatives and their children in faeces.

Especially if they’ve been consumed.

This trait appears to have survived in the modern day fluffy.

32 Likes

Oh i love this owo

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She was a bad mother from the start, thinking its ok to eat the brown one let alone any baby, and thinking “oh this one would have been my favorite”. She got what was coming, I hope that foal had a great life

4 Likes

Clever name for a clever story. Nicely done.

3 Likes

I also like that she’s all “OH NO I HAVE TWO DEAD BABIES. BETTER EAT A LIVE ONE FOR TO MAKE MILK”

8 Likes

Fucking 100 IQ playes

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A critical failure of fluffies that stops them from being any more successful than rodents is exactly this; lack of spacial awareness. What smells must be so, even if visually and logically, it isn’t. The fluffy cannot even vaguely comprehend that something smelling like her kid could not be her kid. Even canines, cats, and other developed mammals hold this skill. They know that a carcass, or a piece of fur, is just that. Another good point for not comparing fluffies to dogs; they are actually far less developed in every sense. The only reason they seem even vaguely close is because they speak. And as we all know from Liam Neeson; “the ability to speak does not make you intelligent.”.

3 Likes