Primum Genus
or
The Origin of Fluffies
Fluffies. Whether you have ever owned one of the Hasbio generated biotoys or not, I imagine most of you know someone who does. Survey and statistics show that they have ousted both feline and canine as most common household pet by a wide margin. And despite how ingrained the fluffy is within our cultural zeitgeist, it’s truest origins remain a mystery. It’s quite difficult to imagine that merely a decade ago, terminology such as biotoy and fluffy were all but unheard of. Then, the ecoterrorist attack on a small lab in Cambridge. While reports from those responsible are considered sketchy at best, they had obtained intelligence that claimed it was an off the books site for illegal bio-research and animal testing. Today, we will be discussing the origins of fluffies, and how they came to be.
Audio File HL-443
There is an audible popping sound as the recording apparatus is primed, with the sound warbled as it slowly self adjusts, a man’s voice clearly reprimanding someone.
“So let’s go over it again…You and your group, the Allies for Animal Liberation broke into and blew up a pharmaceutical storage?”
“I already told you, again and again, it wasn’t pills! There weren’t any pills!”
Sounding nearly hysterical, a younger voice, female, can be heard near screaming in retort. Each pause between her words belies her panic, as though she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
“Well there isn’t much to see after you and your pals were done with it, that’s for sure…And we didn’t find any weird lookin’ animals as you put it, so why don’t you get your story straight and maybe I can help you out.”
“No, you don’t understand!!! There were cages, countless cages of them!!! They were screaming!!!”
“Yeah, yeah…squealing and the like…”
“No…they were screaming…”
A haunting depiction of mankind’s first look at the secret creation of HasBio. And precious little survived the chemical fire that claimed what would later be known as the birthplace of fluffies, with only a few documents and research videos being fortunate enough to remain unscathed. But unbeknownst to the AAL, they had inadvertently freed countless of the new creatures into the city. Many expired quickly, as the creatures were both fragile and exceedingly naïve to the dangers of the outside world.
Footage of Encounter A1-NLC
“*SCREEEEEEE!!! *huuu…huuu…huuu…”
“Oh, shit!!! What the hell did they hit?! Sounds like a kid!!!”
The footage shifts about far too quickly to focus on anything at first, the man clearly running as he speaks aloud. Bringing the phone upwards as he approaches the intersection, a busted mini-van now in sight. An older woman steps out from a nearby ambulance, scouring the wreck as she proceeds to search for whatever is crying.
“Where are you? It’s alright…I just want to make sure you’re okay…”
“*huuu…huuu…huuu…Fwuffy hab wowstest huwties…Nee’ huggies…”
“I’m coming honey, don’t worry…We’ll get you back to the hospital and all fixed u…Jesus Christ!!!”
This is but one of countless examples of the first reactions in non laboratory conditions to the unfettered biotoys. While the world has grown used to the unusual appearance of fluffies, people originally found them off-putting, even downright disturbing, unsurprising as what was freed from the HasBio labs was never intended to be seen by the public at large. Based on what little did survive the blast, we know that the biotoys we know today were to be a stepping stone, one of many towards a final product that we can only imagine. With access to records made public shortly after the incident in Cambridge, it was made clear to the public that HasBio had been doing questionable biological research and experimentation for nearly a decade prior, with the first of these artificial creatures being vastly different. Notations as well as limited visual data shows a precursor, referred to as chirpies, that were experimented on in the early days of testing. Being roughly 80 to 90 millimeters in length, 100-120 grams in weight, and bearing a striking resemblance to what would later be known as a fluffy foal, these tiny creatures were the result of synthetic protein strains and parthenogenesis via a growth vat as opposed to an ovum.
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-012-PARTHENOGENESIS
A beeping sound marks a black screen as green numbers count down, with the screen now focused on a metal lab table. Sitting on top of it is a small silver canister, no larger than a common soft drink can, with several small vials attached to the sides and a red button on the top. Walking into frame, a labcoated man reaches out and presses the red button, which starts to glow green as he backs away and the cylinder begins to vibrate. Shaking faster and faster, the vials begin to drain away into the device with as smoke starts to pour from the base. Now rattling against the metal table loudly, the canister’s base separates as the billowing black smoke dissipates, revealing a small creature that resembles a foal. With short lavender fluff and sealed eyes, the pitiable newborn creature begins to warble and screech as it struggles and fails to stand upright.
“*screeeeeee!!! …*peep…*peep…*chirp?”
And from nothingness, life. The forerunner to the fluffy biotoy, the chirpie was designed to develop quickly, increasing it’s overall body mass by 8% within two days, as it’s muscles and limbs recovered from neo-atrophy, a side effect of it’s abrupt creation. It’s metabolism altered to compensate for such rapid muscle growth, it requires near constant feeding, consuming over 300 kcal a day as it’s bones harden, muscles form, and it becomes ambulatory. Once the chirpie has been active for 48 hours, it would then be capable of limited walking and this marked that soon, it’s ocular membranes would have congealed enough for the eyelids to finally open. Researchers would generally begin testing as soon as parthenogenesis was complete, taking countless blood and tissue samples. But assessment of the chirpie’s mental conditioning would be performed as it’s eyes were permitted to open for the first time.
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-012-IMPRINTING
After a brief cut, it is clear that some time as passed as there is now a simple habitat on the same table as before, the chirpie from before within, sitting on it’s haunches as it warbles and chirps in confusion. It has small pieces of medical tape over each eye that force the lids shut, it’s head occasionally glancing around as it hears muffled voices just out of the shot.
“*peep…*peep…*cheep? …*chirp…*peep…*peep…*chirp?”
Several footsteps are heard as they grow closer to the camera, with a scientist approaching the table, the chirpie clearly growing nervous as it senses his approach. Standing upright, the blind creature attempts to waddle away, tripping awkwardly over it’s stumpy legs as it lets out several frightened trills and peeps.
“*screeeeeee!!! *peep! *peep! *peep!”
Reaching out, the scientist grasps and holds the chirpie in place with a gloved hand, ignoring it’s shrieking protests as it wriggles against his grip. Leaning in so that his face is directly in front of it, he then uses his free hand to strip off the tape holding it’s eyes shut. Screeching as it’s torn free, the chirpie shakes it’s head violently before blinking and opening it’s eyes. Staring at the scientist, it begins to visibly calm at a rapid pace. Sitting on it’s haunches, it begins to trill quietly, unable to take it’s eyes off the scientist.
“*kip? *cheep *cheep *cheep”
“Hello chirpie…”
It’s eyes widen at his words, the creature’s peeps halting as it listens to the scientist’s voice. After quietly gazing at the scientist for a few moments, it stands upright and begins to waddle towards him excitedly.
“*kip! *kip! *cheep…*cheep…*kip!”
Taking a sudden step back, the scientist leaves the frame as another walks towards the table from the opposite side. Still looking off camera, the chirpie turns to notice the second person, shrieking before he tries to amble away.
“*screeeeeee!!! *peep! *peep! *peep!”
In a panic, the chirpie makes it’s way to the end of it’s habitat, rearing up awkwardly on it’s back legs as it looks towards the new scientist and then off screen, it’s eyes tearing up as it tries to wiggle it’s front nubs in that direction. Walking back into frame, the scientist that removed his blinders reaches his hand towards the chirpie, the frightened little creature calming as he wraps his nubs around the outstretched hand.
“*kip…*kip…*cheep…*kip…*kip…”
Early imprinting was exceptionally effective within chirpies but there was still a dilemma facing the bio-engineers at HasBio. Timorous by nature, the subject would only trust whoever it had imprinted on, fleeing at the sight of nearly anyone or anything else. At this stage of biotoy development, HasBio had yet to scratch the surface of ingraining complex ideas within the subconscious pre-birth. To solve the issue, it was imperative that the upper limits of the chirpie’s biological programming be discovered.
CHIRPIE TESTING: T-012-IMPRINT LIMITATIONS
The shot is now on the same metal table as before, with the habitat removed and the chirpie standing at it’s center. Glancing anxiously around the lab, it is clearly distressed and uncomfortable, shifting it’s tiny nubs as it warbles at the cold, metal surface, almost as though it were complaining to it. After a few moments, it’s eyes widen as it looks off screen and shrieks, turning about and trying to run away as a scientist comes into frame.
“*screeeeeee!!! *peep! *peep! *chirp!”
Ignoring the chirpie, the scientist approaches the table, carrying a rolled up bundle under his arm. Unfolding it, the man gives it a series of shakes before lying it over the far half of the metal table, opposite to where the still frightened chirpie is. Careful to only touch the edges of the unusual mat, the scientist then holds his hand a few inches from it’s surface, nodding offscreen and leaving the shot. Moments later, the scientist from the imprinting test walks to the side of the table, likewise holding his hand near it before quickly drawing it back. Noticing the scientist, the chirpie warbles and trills happily, although is still timid from his earlier encounter.
“*kip? *peep…*peep…*peep…*kip?”
“Come here chirpie…”
Reacting instantly to his voice, the chirpie grows more excited and emboldened, seemingly forgetting it’s earlier trepidations. Slowly waddling forward, it takes a few minutes for the slow creature to make it halfway across the table. It’s eyes never leaving the scientist, it continues forward until it’s front nub falls onto the mat, it’s eyes widening as it shrieks and awkwardly rears back.
“*screeeeeee!!! *peep! *peep! *chirp!”
It struggles to stay upright on two hooves, falling over on it’s side as it continues to scream. The hoof that made contact with the mat is now slightly discolored and beginning to visibly blister as the chirpie wobbles back and forth, crying.
“Chirpie…I said come here…”
“*kip? *peep…*cheep…*cheep…*kip!”
Looking towards the scientist, the chirpie struggles back to it’s hooves, wincing as it’s wounded nub touches the table. Limping slowly, it stops as it approaches the mat again, it’s gaze shifting uncomfortably between it and the scientist.
“Chirpie, come here…”
Trilling softly, the chirpie hesitates for a moment before trotting forward, the mat once again burning it’s hooves on contact. It falls backwards, flailing wildly as it screeches out in pain.
“*screeeeeee!!!”
“Chirpie…come here…”
Breathing heavily as it lies on it’s side, the chirpie almost winces at the voice, it’s limbs trembling as it stands back up and starts to walk forward yet again.
“*screeeeeee!!!”
“Come here chirpie…”
“*screeeeeee!!!”
“Chirpie, come over here…”
“*screeeeeee!!!”
“Come here chirpie…”
“*screeeeeee!!!”
It takes nearly three minutes for the chirpie to walk past the mat and make it to the scientist. Having burned it’s legs badly, it trips and stumbles several times, each fall further maiming the fragile creature. Having finally reached the end, the scientist gently scoops up the chirpie, most of it’s fluff missing and the skin underneath red and blistered. Despite how much pain it is clearly in, it nuzzles weakly against his hand.
“Very good, chirpie…”
