Pwease, Nice Mistah (BadLuck)

I think I’ve figured out my niche: satire.

EDIT: Boy, people really don’t understand the concept of satire, do they?

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Poor no weggie babies. (probably just not pictured)

~redacted as it is no longer relevant~ :slight_smile:

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Fuckin’ welfare queen fluffies…

Get a job!

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Father, my testicles are in pain. I require the release of semen.

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“I will not provide shelter as you and your kind should not even be. It is not the fault of your species for your existence, but the fact that you continue to thrive despite the faults both physically of your kind and emotionally of the humans who abuse you proves that you are a mockery not just to God, but to the hubris of mankind for believing they could BE God. By providing food and shelter I shall have willed myself into becoming an accessory to that hubris, another false prophet breaking the laws of nature so that you, and others like you, can continue to live without the knowledge of why you are so wrong for this world.”

“Fwuffy jus wan buy a cof-ee.”

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Stop right there criminal… man. are you not-naming by any chance?

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“Sir I require a house and food, basic items needed for survival.”

“Listen here you little shit, I am not going to let myself be overthrown by the need to take care of a bio-toy and it’s offspring. Why should I? You’re going to ruin my house, plus you won’t even live long enough for me to actually miss you.”

“You are probably a bad pet owner if you value the cleanliness of your shelter over a potential family member.”

“You’re right and I hate that”

End.

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Counterpoint: if you can’t provide the bare minimum requirements for not dying for yourself and your babbehs (who have even lower requirements), you are a failure as an organism and mummah and are not deserving of anything I could provide

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ok so pet rodents, fish, and many other types of domestic animals should not be taken care of either?

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Furthermore, we both know that your so-called “bare minimum” will exponentially grow along with your offspring AND your ego, which I can’t condone. Please leave before my threat of ultraviolence became a reality

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Some ideas for satire:
-Newborn foal that hasn’t even opened its eyes makes bad poopies, outraging the human with its insolence.
-Human tells a fluffy he’s taking it to the vet to get castrated, unexpectedly causing the fluffy to become scared and eager to escape.
-A fluffy catcher stomps a fluffy to death, making his job of catching live fluffies a lot harder in the progress.

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don’t tell me you really took that seriously

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no, i was calling out the hypocritical nature of the statement

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which means you took it seriously :man_facepalming:

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I am sarcastically turning it around on the commenter, since they are the one initially trying to justify their standpoint against a satire piece, aka taking it too seriously. My goal was irony.

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i think all three of us are clowns right now

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Yeah this is why people need to use tone tags more often.

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No. Domestic pets that have lost their ability to thrive in the wild (due to us no less), earn their keep by being cute, endearing, and companions and helpers to humans.

Fluffies “earn” their keep by going further in debt by being loud, obnoxious, not providing any if the benefits the pets you mention provide, and continue to expand their list of demands as they sink deeper and deeper into our debt.

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tone tags are for cowards who are too afraid to be misunderstood. be brave, talk shit, and never look back

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bro please drop it, did you not read any of the above conversation? let satire be satire.

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