Weggies!
By Skrelptastic
“Huu huuu…go 'way dummeh saddies. Bewwy nu wike yu…huuuu…”
“Dammit, not again,” Mr. Mann muttered tiredly as he strode down the hall towards the safe room. It was the fifth time this week that he’d been summoned by the sobs of his pet fluffy, Berry. Mr. Mann disliked the retarded fluffy ponies, like most people, but he’d always had a soft spot for Berry. He’d spotted the fat purple stallion in the window of a shelter one day, and something about the squat little fluffy had tugged at his heartstrings. Maybe it was the expression of complete defeat on its fat face, or the sad wiggling of its stumps. Whatever the reason, Mr. Mann had walked out of that shelter, pillowfluff in arm, and taken it home to give it the best life a sentient toy could have.
Mr. Mann cared for his fluffy as if it deserved happiness. And for a while, Berry was happy. He’d rest next to his owner’s desk while Mr. Mann worked, he’d sing happily during mealtime, he’d cheer whenever his beloved savior would so much as sneeze.
But then, just as the shelter owner had warned Mann when he demanded to take Berry, the pillowfluff started becoming depressed. He still ate like always, but the rest of his activities he spent crying sadly about his lost legs. And while Mr. Mann usually approved of, and sometimes enjoyed the suffering of fluffies, the sadness of his own broke his heart.
As Mr. Mann entered the safe room and saw his beloved Berry wiggling helplessly on its back as a puddle of shit pooled under his fat body, he knew something had to be done.
“Shhh, daddy’s here Berry,” he whispered soothingly to the weeping pony, flipping it onto its belly.
“D-daddeh!” Berry exclaimed tearfully. “B-b-bewwy twied tu…tu open meanie doow tu fin’ daddeh! But meanie doow nu wisten tu Bewwy! Jus gave b-big owwies an…an make Bewwy hav big back owwies!” he whimpered.
“Berry, I know you miss me but you can’t open the door without legs!” Mann scolded. His tone softened as he stroked the fat legless fluffy. “I wish I could make them back buddy, I really do. But they’re gone and they can’t come back.”
Berry nodded sadly. “B-Bewwy jus miss daddeh…huuu huuu jus nu wan be wonewy…”
Berry’s words echoed in Mr. Mann’s head, even as he cleaned the shit off the floor and tucked the sniffling fluffy into bed. Of course getting a companion for Berry had crossed his mind, but he’d been quick to dismiss it. A puppy or kitten wouldn’t work since animals instinctively attack fluffies on sight, and he didn’t want to trick his pet with a stuffed toy.
Mr. Mann sighed in resignation as he turned on Berry’s nightlight and shut the door. He’d have to get another fluffy.
The reasoning behind Mann’s intense dislike of fluffies was shared by most people. The annoying multicolored vermin shit everywhere and irritated everyone with their shrill, stupid voices and infantile vocabulary. Not to mention that their egos were disgustingly inflated for spoiled little imitations of life. Mann had seen fluffies go from desperate and pleading to arrogant and demanding in the blink of an eye.
But the one thing that always elevated his disgust to sadistic rage was how they treated their disadvantaged. Most of the time they were kind and affectionate with each other, stopping randomly on the street to hug and fuck their “special friends”. But whenever a fluffy was even a tad different…whether it be a serious birth defect or simply an ugly color…they would always show astonishing cruelty. Brown foals buried alive in their own mother’s shit, crippled fluffies given daily beatings by entire herds, lonely alicorns shunned and given “sorry poopies” by other ferals…they all turned the kindhearted Mr. Mann into a monster.
And Mann always made sure the punishment fit the crime. Shit-spraying mothers got rubber bands wrapped around their muzzles and were tossed violently into the sewer. Abusive herds were savagely beaten and kicked until none of them could move. Cold-hearted ferals were sealed into boxes to starve and die alone.
As Mr. Mann climbed into bed,he found himself thankful that Berry was none of those.
“It’s gonna take one hell of a kind fluffy to make this work,” he mumbled sleepily to himself.
The next day, Mr. Mann drove down to the shelter to find Berry a friend. The owner was an ex-Marine who’d decided to life a life of happiness and peace after leaving the service, and somehow managed to find it in fluffies. Despite him being a raging hugboxer, Mann couldn’t help but like him. If anyone could help him out, it’d be the owner.
But as Mann pulled up to the shelter, his heart sank. The once bright, inviting building had been reduced to a decrepit mess. Windows were boarded up and dusty. The exterior walls, which had once displayed colorful murals of joyful fluffies playing and laughing, were now dull and faded. The painted fluffies were obscured by graffiti and someone had scrawled “SHITRATZ DIE” over the lopsided shelter sign in messy red marker.
Mann sighed. It was bound to happen. Nobody buys fluffies for more than a couple dollars.
Suddenly Mann noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. Cautiously he peered into the alley that ran along the side of the building just in time to witness a bright orange fluffy triumphantly spray a fountain of shit into the face of a wailing green pegasus.
“P-pwease! Nu mowe sowwy poopies! W-wuv fwufyyyyyyyyy!” the pegasus cried as the torrent slowed to a trickle.
The orange fluffy laughed and blew a raspberry at the sobbing pegasus. Mann clenched his jaw angrily as the trembling green fluffy rose and he saw that the sad creature had only one wing.
“HEY!” he yelled furiously, stomping toward the fluffies. “What the hell do you think you’re doing???”
The orange fluffy looked up with a big stupid grin. “Bestest fwuffy giv big sowwy poopies to dummeh wun-wingeh fwuffy!” it bleated, pointing a stubby hoof at the quivering pegasus. “See? Am bestest fwuffy! Giv nyu home? Be nyu daddeh?”
Mr. Mann curled his lip in disgust. “You’re a bad, sack of shit fluffy. You want me to take you home, go down that hole and come back up first,” he said, pointing to an open storm drain.
The orange fluffy squealed happily and promptly charged into the hole, its cheers turning to screams as it dropped out of sight into the frothing sewage below. Mann chuckled and nodded contentedly. Turning to the one-winged fluffy, he found it looking up at him in pure adoration.
“Tank yu mistah! Fwuffy wuv yu!” the green pegasus cheered happily.
Mann considered the crippled fluffy in front of him. Maybe this one would work…it clearly knew the pain of being needlessly hurt by others.
“It’s alright little guy. Do you want a new friend and a new home?”
The fluffy gasped. “YAY! WAN NYU FWEND!”
Mann pulled out his phone and started typing into Google. “Alright, I’m gonna show you something first and I want you to tell me what you think,” he said as he put up the image of a unicorn missing half its horn on the screen.
The fluffy squinted at the screen. “Fwuffy am…haff pointy? Am haff wingeh! Fwuffy wan giv huggies!” he exclaimed, making hugging motions with his legs.
Mr. Mann nodded happily. “Good job little guy, you passed. Let’s get you cleaned up and take you to meet your new friend!”
Mann stood outside the saferoom door with the newly-clean pegasus clutched under his arm. He could hear Berry sniffling from behind the door, but this time he entered the room with a smile.
“Berry look! I brought you a new friend!” he said cheerfully.
The fat purple pillowfluff looked up, his tear-filled eyes widening in surprise. “D-d-daddeh! Yu b-bwing fwend fo Bewwy???” Berry asked excitedly. “T-tank yu daddeh! Yu bestest daddeh evah! Bewwy wuv yu!!”
Mann smiled as he placed the pegasus down in front of Berry. “Here you go Berry! Why don’t you two get to know each other while I go make some spaghetti?”
As he left the room, he heard Berry excitedly chattering away…but no sounds from the pegasus.
Mr. Mann hummed to himself as he warmed up some old pasta and walked back down the hall. “Ok you two, how about some-”
He froze midsentence as he looked in horror at the scene in front of him. Berry lay still on his back, bruised and scratched, his face completely covered in shit. The pegasus was in the middle of delivering a kick to Berry’s stomach, an angry frown on his little green face. “Take…big…huwties…dummeh…fwuffy…” the fluffy grunted with each kick.
The plate of spaghetti shattered on the floor, while everyone walked the dinosaur, causing the pegasus to look up from his assault. “Daddeh! Fwuffy giv big huwties tu scawy dummeh nu-weggie fwuffy!” he crowed proudly. “Nao wan num sketties an see nyu fwen!”
“NO!” Mann panicked, knocking the pegasus out of the way as he sprinted over to Berry. Frantically, he tore through the warm shit covering Berry’s muzzle until finally Berry was able to give a weak sniff. Mann sighed with relief…and silently turned to the pegasus, who was just getting back to its feet.
“WHY…DID…YOU…DO THIS…?” Mann snarled furiously, his hands clenched into fists.
The pegasus snorted. “Dummeh daddeh! Dat fwuffy am doopid poopeh nu-weggie fwuffy! Fwuffy hav bestest weggies, doopid nu-weggie fwuffy nu get tu tawk tu bestest fwuffy!”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???” Mann bellowed, causing the fluffy to cower in fear. “YOU HURT BERRY BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HAVE LEGS AND YOU DID???”
“D-d-das wite…” the trembling pegasus whimpered.
Mann growled and grabbed the pegasus by its flimsy green mane. Dragging it to the kitchen, he slammed the wailing fluffy down in the sink and grabbed a smooth, flat knife from the counter. “You don’t deserve your legs you piece of shit,” he growled as he pressed the blade against the writhing fluffy’s right foreleg, preparing to slice…
But suddenly he paused and slowly lifted the knife off the fluffy’s stubby green leg, a grim smile plastered on his face. “Actually…I’ve got a question for you…” said Mann softly. “If you’re so proud of 4 legs…wouldn’t 8 be even better?”
The pegasus frowned, visibly strained by the question. “W-wat am “eyt” daddeh?”
“More than you have now,” the human replied with a hungry gaze.
The fluffy nodded eagerly. “WAN MOWE WEGGIES! MOWE WEGGIES MAKE BESTEST FWUFFY!” he cheered.
Mann smiled and nodded. “Well then…” he whispered as he set the smooth knife down…and picked up the serrated bread knife. “I’ll get right on it.”
Violently grabbing the fluffy’s foreleg, he placed the rough edge of the blade directly on the base of the fluffy’s soft leathery hooves, pointing towards its torso.
“Mowe weggies soon?” the pegasus giggled.
Mann answered by ripping the serrated edge through the fluffy’s hoof, sawing upwards. The pegasus screamed and thrashed in agony as the blade ripped and tore its way up the fluffy’s leg. “NUUUUUUUU HUWTIESSSSSSSSSS! WEGGIES HAV OWWIEEEEEEEEEEEES!”
Mann paused for a moment and slammed his fist into the fluffy’s muzzle. The sobbing pegasus coughed and spit out fragments of its broken teeth into the sink. “I saved you and gave you a home. I gave you a new friend to love, and you tried to kill him. You will SHUT THE FUCK UP you piece of trash,” the human snarled.
Returning to the knife he continued to saw upwards through the fluffy’s leg, the blade’s rough edge shearing the fluffy’s delicate bones and muscles down the middle as blood splattered the sink. Finally the blade reached the fluffy’s knee and Mann pulled the blade out with a sickening tear. The screaming fluffy’s leg had been bisected vertically from hoof to knee, splitting it into two halves of a leg.
“WINGEHHHHHHHHH! HEWP FWUFFY!!! HUUU HUU PWEASE WINGEH FWY!!!” the pegasus shrieked, beating its wing furiously to no avail.
“You’re not done yet you little shit,” said Mann, reaching down and snapping the fluffy’s only wing to the side. The pegasus redoubled its screams as Mann ripped out the scattered feathers and set the knife down on the fluffy’s left forelimb. Mann gritted his teeth in rage and began to saw.
Finally, all four legs had been shorn from hoof to knee and Mann, breathing heavily, dropped the bloody knife into the sink. “There you go. From 4 legs to 8! How’s it feel to be a ‘bestest fwuffy’?”
The blood-soaked pegasus gurgled in the sink, its eyes filled with tears. Slowly, it raised its forelegs, the severed halves slapping limply against each other.
“N…nee…h-huggies…daddeh…”
Mann silently reached down and grabbed the halves of the right foreleg and ripped them in opposite directions. The pegasus couldn’t even scream anymore, silently opening and closing its bleeding mouth in wordless agony.
“Fuck you.”
Mann turned and walked down the hall to tend to Berry’s recovery, leaving the monstrosity to die in the sink. Maybe he’d get a stuffed toy after all.