Sleepy Juice
A Short Story by Za
This was the second winter Gordon and Patsy had spent on the street.
“Daddeh?” Patsy spoke, nestling into Gordon’s lap. The man looked down, smiling at her from behind a bushier beard than she’d ever seen.
“What is it, sweet pea?” he asked, his voice warm like a drink of coffee. He stroked the little mare’s mane as she look up at him.
“How time tiww nyu housie?” she asked.
Gordon wasn’t sure what to tell her, so he just held her a little closer away from the biting wind.
“I don’t know, Patsy,” he half-answered. “Can’t find no jobs around here, and I gotta have money to buy us a new place.”
Patsy shivered, humming slightly. “Can Patsy an daddeh go to Mistah Bewt’s?”
Gordon thought for a moment, tears threatening to prick at his eyes.
“Nah, I don’t think so. Not since he found out I was still on the junk.”
Patsy sobbed quietly.
“Patsy su cowdies…”
They were both silent for a moment, their thoughts drowned out by a howling wind.
“Daddeh… pwease nu take sweepy juice nu mowe. When daddeh sweepies, Patsy aww awone. Patsy get scawedies.”
Gordon looked down at the sobbing fluffy, his fingers running through her mane.
“I know, sweet pea, I know. I’m trying to stop, I promise.”
He gently guided her out of his lap, leaning over into his backpack and rummaging around for a moment.
“It’s just that… the addiction centers down here have got a long waitlist. Lots of folks trying to get back on the right path, and I’m glad for it.”
Gordon sighed, mumbling to himself as he tied off his arm with a shoelace.
“Just wish I could get my turn.”
Patsy looked up at him through wet eyes, biting her lip as sobs threatened to spill through.
“Daddeh nu… pwease, daddeh, nu sweepy juice…”
Gordon clenched his fist as he held the strap of his backpack, his free hand digging around for another item.
“Just a little bit, sweet pea. Just a little bit.”
Patsy fell into a full-fledged fit, hugging his shin with all the might her little legs could manage.
“Daddeh, nu! Daddeh, pwease!”
Gordon pushed her away, causing her to roll backwards over herself and bump her head. Once she picked herself up, she looked back to her daddeh who was staring down at her with wide-eyed disbelief at himself.
“I’m sorry, sweet pea, I-”
“Daddeh get meanies when daddeh nu take sweepy juice!” she spat, her eyes brimming with hurt. “Daddeh get su meanies an gib Patsy huwties! Den daddeh take sweepy juice an get sickies an gu sweepies!”
Her tears fell into the snow, disappearing as if they’d never been there at all.
“Patsy, I know, but-”
“Patsy miss owd housie, an mummah an wittwe mummah! Patsy miss daddeh’s happies, Patsy wan wun an pway wif daddeh gain!”
Gordon gritted his teeth, holding the lighter up to his spoon as he melted his habit.
“And you think I don’t?” he shouted, his voice booming against the walls of the alley around them. “You think I don’t miss getting home from work and giving Mary a hug? You don’t think it tears me up inside that I wasn’t there for Kiara’s first day of school? You don’t think I’d rather be back at my old job, in our old house, with our family, than out here on the streets of Atlanta shooting up dope?”
Patsy fell silent, her eyes glued to the needle in Gordon’s hands as he plunged it into his arm.
“Daddeh… Patsy sowwy.”
Gordon reached out with his empty hand to gently pet behind Patsy’s ears.
“No, sweet pea, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shouted, and I’m sorry I hurt you. Most of all, I’m sorry I ever got us into this mess. I don’t know why you wanted to come with me instead of staying with them.”
“Cuz Patsy wub daddeh. Daddeh awways wub Patsy da bestest.”
Gordon cracked a smile, pulling his arm back. He halfheartedly dumped his implements back into the bag, zipping it shut. He looked down at the bag, frustrated.
“I really gotta quit this stuff.”
Patsy simply nodded. She shivered for a moment.
“Is cowdies… gib Patsy huggies pwease?”
Gordon nodded, allowing Patsy to climb back into his lap. Her wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to lay cozily in his lap. He reached into a second pouch of the backpack, pulling out a blanket. He tossed it over them, peeling it back just enough for Patsy’s head to peek out the side so she could breathe.
She looked up at him, smiling contentedly.
“Patsy wub ou, daddeh.”
“I love you too.”
Patsy nestled into his lap a bit further. They sat in silence for a minute before she looked up at him again. As usual, he’d nodded off. His expression was blank, his pupils shrunken down to nothing.
“Daddeh am sweepies nao. Patsy go sweepies too. Gudnite, daddeh.”
Patsy closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. She had her favorite dream again. She was back at the park when she was just a filly. Running and playing with a younger, happier daddeh.
And then, as always, she woke up. Patsy shivered, her teeth chattering away. She tried to curl up into Gordon’s lap a bit more, but to her dismay, he was cold too.
He felt even colder than she did. Patsy supposed that was because she had fluff, and Gordon didn’t. She looked up at him, only to find he hadn’t moved even a bit. Usually he’d end up snoring, or straightening out his legs when he fell asleep. But no, he was still curled up just the same. Looking down at her with those pinpoint eyes.
“Pwease wakies soon, daddeh,” Patsy pleaded.
“Patsy tuu cowdies.”