You continue on your day. You’re still infuriated beyond belief, and need to release this anger. Maybe that’s just a reasoning you came up with in your head. Maybe you just can’t take being wrong. You NEED to find a way to prove yourself right. Or maybe you’re using THAT as a justification for mindless violence. No matter how much you try to say you’re above everyone else, you’re just as vulnerable to basic human instincts. You keep walking, destination: who knows. Perhaps there’s another alley with another feral mother in it. You hope there is, at least.
Along your walk you see some fluffies. Some of them have little letters attached to them, no doubt delivering mail from neighbor to neighbor. You think about how it would be funny to take the letter and watch the fluffy get berated for losing the mail, but you decide against it. Maybe some other time. It’s amazing how some ferals in this city are used to move stuff. It’s not super common, but it’s just common enough to be really weird.
A lavender winged fluffy with a light blue mane runs up to you, four talking foals walking alongside it, and six foals resting on her back. You would take the time to examine each fluffy, but you don’t feel the need at the moment. “Hewwo nice mistuh, hab nummies?” This could be interesting. “No, I don’t have any in my hands, and nothing in my pockets.” She looks down. “Oh… Otay. Weww, nice mistuh bwing fwuffies tu nyu housies an gib nummies dewe?” You internally scream. These things are so expectant of everything and everyone around them. Truly parasites. “Uh, how about we go over here and I can see if you’re a good fit for my house.” She jumps up, allowing her babies on her back to be airborne for about .2 seconds. “Dat mean yu be nyu daddeh?! Swippy su happy! Can’t wait fo nyu toysies an’ sketties!” You smile. THIS is what you’ve been wanting.
You lead her to the alleyway as she babbles on about sketties for her best babies and new toys and all that other trite bullshit. You get to the end of the alleyway, and begin your questioning. “Alright, where are you from, can you tell me that?” She responds rather quickly. “Swippy wun way fwum mummah su coud hab babbehs wike on Teebee! Nice pwetty babbehs fo mummah tu pway wif.” Ooo, a runaway! You’ve really hit the jackpot! “And how was your mother? How was life with her, did she treat you well?” The fluffy frowns, obviously irritated thinking about its old mother. “Mummah was meanie mummah! Onwy gib sketties sometimes, an gib bowing toysies, an nu wet Swippy hab speciaw fwiend, an babbehs. Dummeh mummah! Nu wike nice mummahs on Teebee.”
You knew that Fluff TV was actually a detriment to fluffy development in some ways, but you didn’t think it was THIS bad. Maybe this one’s just especially easy to manipulate. “She nu eben gib Swippy sketties o’ nyu toysies fo good poopies.” You frown slightly. “You don’t get rewarded for doing what is expected of you.” She just looks up at you, confused. “Wha? Wha dat mean?”
So this is what the man above humanity does in his free time. Argues with a childs toy. You look around and shake your head. Must have been your imagination. “Well, anyway. Want to come home with me? You’ll get a nice home, good food, and plenty of toys.” you say, lying through a shit eating grin. She lets out a little ‘squee’ of happiness. “Yus! Wan nyu daddeh an toysies an sketties an babbehs! Can bwing speciaw fwien tu?” You smile, mostly because that just means more fun. “Sure, where is the little horndo- I mean, where is he?”
“He wight oba dewe!” She says, pointing behind you with one of her hooves. Sure enough, you turn around, and there he is. A bright yellow, fat fuck unicorn fluffy with a neon blue mane. “Dummeh mistuh! Get own mawe! Dis smawty’s famiwy!” You roll your eyes. “Alright, I guess you guys don’t want a new dad then.” The mom makes a little shriek. “Nuu! Wan nyu daddeh an’ toysies an’ sketties an’ wub! Be nice to nice mistuh, speciaw fwien!” The smarty puffs out his cheeks. “Hmmph, fine, but mistuh nee’ take smawty tu.”
You go to a nearby store, like RIGHT next door, buy two large pet carriers, and return to the alleyway. “Alright, Slippy, was it? I’m gonna need you to put your babies in this crate, and you and your special friend can go in this one.” She nods, and puts 3 of the small babies in first. They give a few chirps of protest, but the mother calms them down with promises of sketties. “Nu cwy babbeh, wiww git sketties soon, an give bestest miwkies fo bestest babbehs!” Then she puts another one in. “Nu cwy babbeh, mummah gib miwkies soon.” Then, she rather roughly places her two brown babies in. “Stop cwying poopie babbehs.” No comfort for the brown ones.
“Why weren’t you as nice to those last two?” She looks at you with a face like you asked her the dumbest question on the planet. “Dem am poopie babbehs! Onwy nee’ fo wickie cweanies. Dey am too smaww fo dat now, but soon dey be good wickie cweanie babbehs, wike Bwownie obah hewe!” She gestures over to a brown talking colt foal, emaciated and depressed looking. You just shake your head. “Alright, keep going.” She puts the rest of her offspring in the box, then gets into her crate with her irritating mate. You pick up the crates, which are surprisingly heavy, but not any trouble to lift.
On your walk home, you see a strange looking person walk past you. Booty shorts and thighhighs. You’ll never understand this town. The strangest part about them was, for a moment, it looked as if they were carrying an alicorn foal that looked almost exactly like the one you left behind an hour ago. You would have asked the person about it, but around that time your attention was grabbed by something else. A strange grunting coming from inside the crate with the couple inside.
“Enf, enf, enf, enf, enf, enf.” Oh God fucking dammit, WHY did you put them together? Why? For someone who touts their superiority to everyone, you certainly don’t think very far ahead. Maybe it isn’t too late to seperate the- “GUUD FEEWS!” Shit. Well, now you’re sure to have more of the little things running around your basement. Great.
You look around for the weird guy and the alicorn, but they’re long gone. You shrug, and continue on your way.
(Gonna split this one into two parts, so you guys just get a calm before the storm type thing.)
