things have been getting busy for the folks at Skettiland Elimination and Control, so much so that for the first time ever Jake had to hire new employees that weren’t family members. winter was a few months off and any feral in the area was in a mad dash to store as much food possible so calls of fluffies in all sorts of places were starting to pile up. he walked past the barn where Earl was timing how fast a stout but burly woman could skin a live fluffy, any slower than a minute and they had to try again, she did it in 45 seconds. Jake was followed by a young man with brown slicked back hair and a five day beard named Bill as he talked him through his new duties and the rules of the job.
“Pay attention to Shannon there Bill, that’s how a pro skins a fluffy. You’ll be taking your test after the tour.”
“Hey Jake my phone went off, the nurse mare’s panic button says Milly just popped at last.” Earl called out. “Go check on her, see what we got.”
Jake waved in acknowledgment and kept on walking as he talked to bill.
“Now I assume you’re an abuser to some extent and you said you’ve hunted before right?”
“Yep. the usual stuff deer, elk, turkey, fluffies too”
“Good. so let’s be clear, anything we hunt you’re free to dispose of as you see fit but before you do sort out their value first. Alicorns, shiny, glittery, cutie marks, weird patterns, bring it here alive and unharmed, the rest have at it. I don’t care if its brown, if it’s shiny I want that polished turd, ugly parents can still make pretty babies. Second, keep your hands off the livestock. anything in our pens or the breeding pits is off limits. this job will provide plenty of opportunities for you to get your kicks. now after we check on Milly I’ll show you how to properly reset a fluffy, we’re making a new nurse mare today.”
Milly was already squeezing out her second round of foals, her muffled screams came out like growls through her feeding mask as the nurse mares gently pushed her sides to assist the birth. the pair looked dawn to the stockade’s catch basket and Jake was not disappointed. he was intimately aware of her entire birthing record, having spayed and neutered every one of her foals from her time at Sandy’s farm. the first six, half were white, half were lite pink and two of each were alicorns, three more slid out with a grunt three more white with an alicorn. the last three slid out with the placenta, gold unicorn and two more lite pink Pegasuses and they all shined and sparkled and Jake couldn’t stop pumping his fist and shouting out “yes” for a good minute.
“And they’re all alive! Finally! hello, premium stock. like little nuggets of gold you can grow. New order of business, build a new foal pen for the premium stock. now onto the new nurse mare. go grab cage #15 off the wall there…”
“Why don’t you pillow them? Don’t it make things easier?” Heading to the wall.
“Yeah but they don’t live as long. letting them be able to wiggle around just a little gives them enough exercise to last a full ten years.” Picking up a taser.
Somewhere in town in a typical backyard…
Little nine year old Katie skipped through her backyard with a little blue Pegasus stallion with green mane/tail, laughing and chasing after her. throwing a ball the little blue puffball waddled off after it, trying to pounce on it as it rolled he slipped on it and tumbled end over end once landing back on his feet surprisingly. continuing his chase of the ball it rolled into the tall grassy field beyond the backyard and he ran in without a care.
-Jewwywoww git baww for wittwe mummah! wub baww!- Disappearing into the tall grass.
“Jellyroll? where are you? Did you find it yet?” Katie called out after a moment of silence.
-Jewwywoww wookin. nu find ba-SREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Mummah hewp! MUNSTA! NU! NU AM NUMMIEEEEEES!! OWWIES! hu hu hu huuuuu…
Katie bolted for the tall grass sweeping her legs side to side looking for Jellyroll and trying not to accidentally step on him in the process. following his agonized screeching she quickly found him laying on his side, weeping, bleeding, missing his back left leg at the hip. Reaching for him there was a flash of green and she shrieked as she pulled back a bloody palm crying she turned and ran back to the house, Jellyroll crying for mercy and rescue.
Poor little Jellyroll woke to the pain in his missing leg, he had no idea where he was but it was dim dank and smelled like the litter box. trying to stand he rolled his wound onto the cold hard floor, shrieking he fell back onto his side crying for Katie to come save him. something moved in the shadows and as his eyes focused something stepped into a beam of light from above. scaredy poopies sprayed everywhere from him at the sight of them three or was it four of them. Two green earthies one blue mane one red, a big brown one with red mane and then there was the last. it had two heads the left side a red unicon, green mane, the right was yellow Pegasus, blue mane, their color splitting down their whole body, each side had it’s own tail. all of them smiled wickedly at him showing off dirty broken sharp teeth and he couldn’t help but make scaredy pee-pee’s all over himself. those eyes. so wicked so…hungry.
-Bwing da nummies to mummah-sissy. good nummies fo’ tummeh babbehs.- The brown one practically laughed the entire order licking his lips.
the green ones grabbed a front and back leg and dragged Jellyroll further into the darkness. sitting in a stone tunnel on a nest of old paper and trash was a heavily pregnant green mare with yellow mane.
-Hmmmmm…Pwetty nummies smeww good.- the mare started to drool.
-Nu pwease! Jewwywoww nu am nummies! Am fow huggies an wuv.
-Bwudda-daddy git weggie fwom nummie Jewwywoww fo’ mummah-sissy.- The mare pointed to his right foreleg.
the greens held Jellyroll down, one on his hips the other on his head while the brown one bit into his shoulder, gnawing at his tender flesh slowly sawing it off. when he got to the bone he pulled and the whole leg came off easily at that point, Jellyroll never stopped screaming as the other took a leg for themselves after and big brown and the mutant hadn’t got their share yet.
-Bwudda-daddy gits da tummeh sketties, Two-Fwuff git da west. But fiwst, Bwudda-daddy nee’ enfies.- Rolling Jellyroll on his belly and mounting him.
-NU! Nu am mawe! nu am mawe!
-ENF! ENF! ENF! ENF!
-Owies! hu huu huu huuuu poopie pwace nuuuuu! nu mowe! nu wan! nu wa-hgrgrglllgk!
Two-fluff jammed their own no-no stick down Jellyroll’s mouth
-Wub when bwudda gif good feews wif nu-nu stick- the right side groaned happily
-Shaddup sissy ENF! twyin to ENF! git gud feews! ENF! ENF!- the left grunted.-Move weggie sissy. ENF! ENF! Bwudda doin aww ENF!ENF! da wowk. ENF!
Jake slowly and carefully unwrapped the bandages around Katie’s hand, examining her fresh stitches he made sure Bill got a good look at them as well.
“The doctors have no idea what did it, just that it was an animal.” Katie’s mother explained.
“That’s because fluffy bites don’t normally break the skin let alone go deep enough for stitches.” Kneeling down and taking off his left boot and pulling down his sock exposing an identical scar but long ago healed. " This is what a cannibal fluff bite mark looks like. when they go cannibal their teeth break off and become sharp enough to do some real damage but not much. some advice. get yourself some proper boots not those sneaker looking things your wearing." Pointing to Bill’s feet as he put his back on.
“seriously? Cannibal fluffs?” Looking at his boots.
“This is the fifth missing pet fluffy from this neighborhood in two weeks and that also includes a chihuahua, a kitten and wiener dog.”
“Is-is Jellyroll gonna be okay?”
“I’m so sorry kiddo but I don’t think he will be.” Gently re-wrapping Katie’s palm. “But I’ll make sure they never hurt another pet again. okay?”
She sniffled, nodded and hugged her mom as Jake stood back up and excused themselves to go investigate the backyard. Getting Stalker from the truck as well as his .22 rifle, a cattle prod a can of mace and a backpack. Bill got out a .22 pistol and a four foot long hunting lance, two feet of handle the rest, a dual edged blade. Taking one of Jellyroll’s dress up shirts Jake let Stalker get a good sniff before letting him of his leash with the command to find it. It was an hour before dusk and they wanted to get this over with before it got too dark to hunt. they followed Stalker through the hilly fields through the knee high grass over small hills and patches of trees till they came to a drainage ditch. it was concrete that ran from the bottom of a hill up to the overpass by a decent sized river. the bars covering the drain to the sewers were too close together for either of them to fit in but Stalker had no problem squeezing in before they could stop him.
“Should you call him back?”
“Nah, he’s trained like a ratter among other things. grab, shake like hell, drop, repeat. Come on there’s gotta be a man hole cover nearby.”
Stalker followed the scent though the drainage tunnel despite the encroaching smell of rotting vegetation and meat. he didn’t have to go far thankfully for his nose’s sake or so the poor pooch had thought. sitting in her nest of wet leaves, toilet paper and trash was Mummah-sister, asleep. when he got in closer he could see several malformed foals sleeping around her, most sporting an extra limb or two, one just seemed like a dead pile of limbs. a sudden sharp pain in his back leg made him let out a shrill yelp. spinning around he bit into the first thing he could sink his teeth into, a cannibal fluff that was shaken like a rag doll. when he dropped the dead body he was confronted by ten more of the nasty little vermin, each with one deformity or another. the noise he had made earlier had awoken Mummah-sister who now demanded dog food.
-Babbehs bwing Mummah-sissy nummy bawky munsta. need mowe nummies for tummy babbehs!-Starting to drool while licking her fat jowls.
too inbred and stupid to be afraid the malformed herd of cannibals rushed at Stalker, as he clamped down on the closest one the others tried to surround him. Backing up while grabbing another he shook it so hard one of it’s heads came flying off but dropped the body when one bit into his right foreleg. biting into the offending fluffy’s face it let go when Stalker’s sharp teeth sank into his eye, another sank its teeth into his back leg. They swarmed, nipping and snapping at every opportunity they got not letting up for a second. from above, the sound of steel dragging over concrete drew their attention up, the light cast down blinded them momentarily then just as quickly blocked.
“Stalker, move!” His master’s voice echoed.
Bill came down fast feet first stomping one flat under his boot, lance in hand he stabbed clean through one and punting another off the wall. the fluffy he impaled was still stuck to the spear as two more were added the blade. that seemed to be the last of them leaving only Mummah-sister in her filthy nest with her monstrous foals too concerned about her next meal to care her entire brood was dead.
“Hey boss! how come you you didn’t jump?” He asked as Jake slowly came down the ladder.
“I’m fifty seven years old. I ain’t jumpin down nothin, that’s what you’re for. You get em all?” Kneeling down to check on Stalker.
“All save for the matriarch over there.” pointer her out with his lance full of fluffies, one still alive. “Man this group is seriously fucked up. some serious inbreeding going on here. look at those fucking foals she got, all they need is a banjo. I don’t think she even cares I just killed her whole herd.”
-PPPTHHHHPPPPP! stupi hooman munstas dems onwy da babbehs. aww da gwown ups awe out findin nummies. when dey get back day make ou da nummies he he he he he hahahahahah! mmmm nummies.
“You don’t say? And just where might they be going to find these nummies?” Jake asked pulling her out the nest by the scruff of her neck.
-EEEEEEEK Bad uppies am bad fow soon mummah-sissy! Mummah-sissy gonna num ou!
“If you even give half a damn about the last of your foals I suggest you tell me where they are.” Jake pointed his mace at the nest.
-Nu cawe, can make mowe. Bwudda-daddy gon gif ou wostest huwties.
“Surprisingly callus. Alright then… Better idea.” Putting the mace away. “Hold this thing a sec.” Handing her off to Bill.
Digging into the backpack he pulled out a PVC restraint rig shaped like a capital I with straps on each arm. Then a device that looked like it was made out of a curling iron with a thick flat disk mounted on its edge on the top.taking the rig he strapped it to her back then tied each of her legs to the rigs arms then took some rope and hung her from a pipe. taking some battery operated clippers he shaved her special place and ass bald, jammed a plug up her ass then put a layer of duct tape over the whole area.
“Those foals look big enough for big fluffy food, one of thems nibbling on some of your leftovers. They look hungry too. listen to them whine for food.” Pulling his knife from his belt.
-hungee
-need nummies
-babbeh wan nummies
with knife in hand he cut through the back left leg at the knee and tossed it to the nest. she shrieked and howled at the pain and even louder when Jake pressed the disk to her stump, the meat and blood sizzling closed.
-Nu babbehs! nu num Mummah-sissy’s weggie! Mummah-sissy need fowe wawkies!
“Damn lookit them eat and you got a whole other half a leg to go. still don’t wanna tell me where they are?”
her only response was more raspberries so Jake just shrugged and filleted off the rest of the leg and searing it shut again. not even bothering to ask again he just sliced off her entire front right leg and tossed it to the nest.
-REEEEEEE REEEEEE SCREEEEE! weggie nuuuuuu! hu hu why huwt fwuffy? jus wan nummies…
“Now what else do I need to cut off before you start talking?” Lightly running the blade around her body, stopping under her left teat.
-NUUUU! need miwkie pwaces to feed tummeh babbehs! Mummah-sissy teww! find big pwace wif wots ov fwuffies, wots ov nummie babbehs. but big fencie in da way. nawt faw. fouw ow fibe housies down bwack wocky paff. hu hu nu mowe huwties pwease nice mistuh.
“Four of five… houses… I know this neighborhood. lots of fluffies and a big fence… You little shits found Sandy’s farm. Guess now you’ve earned your reward.”
Ripping the duct tape off the took the gut hook end of his knife and hooked it around the end of her clit and drew it straight up to her rib cage. her scree’s were cut short when her guts tumbled out with her intact womb flopped over her teats. struggling to breath Jake unstrapped the Mummah-sister and held her by the neck then took his mace and hosed down the nest threw the mare in and emptied the can over them all. the chemically sensitive freaks shrieked and gurgled drowning in blood, meat and their own rupturing throats. to finish the job he took the cattle prod, cranked it up to full power and jammed it into the bloody mess and held it in for a good minute.
Big brown led the greens and the mutant along with a dozen other fluffies. It had taken many nights of digging but they had finally dug under the L-shaped paver stones that lined the fence enough to pull them away. it took even more nights to dig far enough to get enough leverage to push the ones on the other side out of the way but they were through and ready to feast. circling around to the front of the barn the strong scent of the fluffies inside made their mouths water. it took awhile for them to figure out how to get the door open, it wasn’t latched too well and after a few minutes of pushing it bounced back enough to be pushed open. the barn was dimly lit to keep the breeding fluffies fear of the dark at bay, nuzzling the latch open on the nearest pen gate with his nose Big brown opened it and went in. there sleeping in a neat and clean nest with several foals was a bright blue, shiny, alicorn mare.
-Hmm? who ou? new fwend?- Asked the mare sleepily lifting her head.
-SCREEEEEEE! MUNSTA! wun fow ou wives!-Cried big brown.
Staggering back out of the pen as he sprayed scaredy poopies at everyone behind him the other fluffies in the pens woke from the screams. poking their heads over the pens walls, several were alicorns and their wings and horns were on full diplay for the cannibal fluffs to see. the air erupted with screams of panicked fluffies, spaying shit everywhere while making a mad dash for the door.
“Get 'em, boy!”
Over the fence, Stalker came flying over the fence landing in front of the fleeing cannibals, all four of his legs were bandaged up and he look absolutely pissed. Bill jumped over after him pistol and flashlight in hand and the two got to work. Stalker bit into one of the greens necks as Bill started shooting, Jake was tall enough to see over the fence and he was taking shots with his rifle with a flashlight taped to the barrel.
Big brown had somehow managed to slip past the mayhem to the hole and quickly tried to squeeze through. as soon as his head poked through the other side he slipped off into the darkness for home leaving the rest to their fates, he could hear them in the distance.
-Scree! munsta!
PAK! PAK! PAK PAK!!
Growl… Rwow GRRRR BARK BARK!
-EEEEEEE nu nu nuuuuuuuuu!!! hrgk!
“Get that weird red and yellow two toned one!” Jake yelled
PAK!
body parts flew everywhere as Stalker ripped them apart, pinning them underfoot and ripping out their spines with his teeth. Bill made sure to re-close the barn doors to spare the “innocent” from the dog’s wrath. when the last fell to a bullet to the ass that disemboweled him and the second to the neck nearly took the head clean off.
Sandy came out to see what the hell was going on in her back yard only to discover the horror show of fluffy body parts, blood and viscera spread over her yard. she screamed and nearly fainted in hysterics and it took Jake nearly an how to calm her down and assure that none of it was any of her breeders. thankfully it was easy to keep her from calling the cops after a quick explanation they shoveled up the bits and pieces, deposited them into the burn barrel and hosed off the lawn.
“Man what a night.” Bill sighed walking down the side walk with Jake back to the truck. “It it always this fun?”
“Yeah sure.” Jake chuckled.
as the walked down the street covered in blood and fluffy bits they passed kids in costumes laughing as they went house to house for candy. at the front gate of one house a lone fluffy was taking bites out of a Jack-o-lantern’s face and Jake swept him into the street with his foot just and a passing car crushed him under its wheels.
“Hey Bill, Happy Halloween.”
“You too, boss.”
back at the drainage ditch Big brown returned wheezing and gasping for air, staggering to the nest he saw the state Mummah-sister had been left in. filled with rage and despair with what little breath he had left he yelled out.
-Bwudda-daddy gon give aww munstas foweva sweepies! gone use thinky pwace as wittew boxie and enf ou see pwace!
his little tirade was cut short by a loud hissing noise coming from one of the other smaller tunnels. when he turned to look a huge ball python lurched forward, it’s fangs sinking deep into his neck while his body was wrapped tight. his bones cracked and broke with every breath he exhaled making the next one shorter and more labored and with one final snap the light went out in his eyes. the snake loosed its grip and slowly opened it’s mouth, engulfing Big browns head.