Nicely written, that no Fluffy would survive Jonathan’s Experiment was pretty clear from the start.
I’ll chalk this up to you not reading my comments fully.
Going into a story with a Mongola involved and wishing for a hugbox ending is something even I wouldn’t do. My issue was with how the ending felt a lot less intriguing than the psychological experiment part. Even if he hadn’t explicitly written “and the fluffies die” the logical conclusion would have been that.
If I simply hadn’t enjoyed the whole story I would have simply said “lol this is bad kthxbai” or (even better) just moved on. Criticising it doesn’t necessarily mean disliking an author’s work
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A-S does have a point, I have made Jonathan too “good” and by forcing his inclusion here I’ve probably sacrificed the story as a whole. I enjoy him as a character but he is still just a man beneath the hacking and the bomb making so I probably should ease up on some of his skills to make him more realistic
However the seemingly flippant attitude does feel needlessly combative, even if that that’s not intentional. In this case, frequently calling Jonathan dumb for his Fluffy hate even though there is a canonical and explainable reason of severe emotional trauma. It might not be the best reason but it’s a character flaw and intentionally so
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Sorry but it sounded for me like you were reading most of his stories for the Hugbox part and giving him shit for the Abuse. If not than I’m sorry.
I can Totally understand why it ended like it ended. Jonathan at this point has only his hatred for Fluffys to ceep him going.
All of this was simply to pass time.
And after it was done he needed something new to keep his mind going. I personally think this will go on til his nephew is born. With that he may have a chance to break out of this.
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Sorry I did not want to start an argument in your comments but he rubbed me the wrong way.
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Gotta say at least Josef had a ‘doctor’ degree to disguise his need to lord over little vermin in the form of ‘experiments’. Jonathan sounds like he’d be better off just taking a part time exterminator gig if he needs to get his Nazi rocks off by making shitrats suffer. That and his cooking attempt sounds disgusting at best- hopefully he gets shitrat soup all over the kitchen and gives himself a case of the screaming shits from e-coli cross contamination. Everyone knows you gut FIRST, THEN cook! What a loser.
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The interpretation of the spaghetti experiment was great. Enticing the fluffies to give an attempt at bargaining, even if the smarty was obviously lying, made the experiment worth doing.
Though I would agree that the experiment at the end felt somewhat tacked on. The cooking premise sounds effective, but fell flat as it wasn’t intended to be written about in a future chapter. It seemed more like acting off of a sudden thought in the moment that came up as the spaghetti experiment was ending.
While Jonathan has done somewhat elaborate plans to kill fluffies in the past, it seemed a little out of place that he would want to have daily interactions with multiple fluffies that weren’t forced or without having the fluffies know that he is a dangerous threat. Regardless of how the ending was abusive, hearing fluffies call Jonathan “daddeh” seems like a sudden shift. Guessing that being made to interact with the fluffy during his prison time has something to do with it.
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I’ll chalk this up to you not reading my comments fully.
“It’s not that my ideas are in any way flawed; it’s that you’re lacking the proper context to understand their incredible unprecedented brilliance.”
Anyway I pretty much agree with everybody else, this story was great up until the end.
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Ahhhh, a relieving ending.
Bradley was just a fucking wimp who got the trademark Fluffy Post Nut/New Mate Courage, becoming a sappy moron who will willingly hurt himself (not eating) and act all dead hard just for his mate. The Smarty Non Smarty dynamic went the exact same way otherwise.
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Well written, and a good read at that. Really drew me in, I quite like that the experiment was actually exploring fluffy behavior instead of just a framing device for torture.
The end did feel like an abrupt shift from the character as he’d been portrayed in the story until that point. Think it might have been less jarring if we’d gotten a bit more of Johnathan’s thoughts and reactions throughout foreshadowing it.
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