The main consensus among the scientific herd is that roughly two million years ago, a branch of the family Equidae migrated into Africa. Displacing and outcompeting the native hominin populations, these equines quickly evolved differently from their Asian steppe counterparts. Evolving multicolored fur, pupils, and eventually, upright mobility. The ancestors of Fluffy Race migrated from the African savannas and began to spread throughout the world.
For hundreds of thousands of years, fluffies lived in small herds as hunters and nummie finders. Sometime in the near-east, agriculture was discovered, enabling the development of civilization. From stone to bronze to iron, Fluffy civilization spread from the near east to Europe and Asia and Africa. Civilizations rose and fell, colonial empires took over the world as Poopie fluffies were taken across the ocean to work in the new world. Civilizations industrialized, freeing up labor to other aspects of life. After the brutal First Fluff War, and the more devastating Fluff War Two and mass murder of Alicorn and Poopie Fluffies under Fluffdolf Hitler’s regime, the world came together. There were several close calls with Nuclear Armageddon between the United Fluffs of America and the Union of Soviet Socialist Herds, but peace prevailed.
As the world entered the digital age, media became a more powerful force than ever. Sometime in the 2010’s, Fluffbro released their hit show: My Little Monkey.
My Little Monkey was a hit among young fillies and many adult stallions (known as Brokeys). Executives at Fluffbro teared up at how their show touched the hearts of fillies everywhere (and their sketti containers). A division of the company, Fluffbio, set about making the perfect toy.
They created their toy from the DNA of the monkey. Modifications were made to make them more appealing. Hair was removed from the entire body apart from the head, armpits, and pubes. They could walk upright just like a fluffy, with specially designed feet. Unlike in fluffies, researchers in Fluffbio were able to craft a much more developed pallete, ironically making their speech more articulate than a fluffy’s.
The Hoomin was born.
Unfortunately, the organization known as FETA (Fluffies for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), had other plans. On a dark and stormy night, they broke into Fluffbio headquarters. The hoomin prototypes, which weren’t meant to breed outside Fluffbio labs, were released.
For decades afterward, hoomins infested the country, the homeless filled the streets of cities and forests, finding wives and husbands, making babies, forming tribes. Stores sold hoomins to eager fluffy families, as well as a new group: Hurtie-Givers.
The world was changed forever. The stink of hoomin poop filled cities, Baby-in-a-Can machines could be found on streetcorners. Mills set up factories where pillowed women were used as breeders, others as milkbags. Hurtie-givers came out at night to find unsuspecting and naïve hoomins and their families. Huggie-givers adopted and took care of them when they could. Often a fluffy might walk down an alley, listening to a hoomin mother reject her Poopie baby, or as hoomins call them: N***** Babies. Some might come up to you, asking for a warm home and lots of burgers. Depending on what type of fluffy they might meet, it could end with burgers, or with blood.
Truly, the era of hoomins had begun.