Wedding Game (Author: SqueakyFriend)

Wedding Game


“Smawty is a cowawd.”

Tick swerved to face the fluffy who had spoken, glaring to hide the tears in his eyes. “Nu am cowawd!” he protested. “If hewd had stayed, hooman wud have given aww of hewd fowevah sweepies!”

His modestly sized herd looked less than impressed. How many times had it been now that they had found a good spot, a pretty and grassy lawn, only for a big human to come out with a dark glare and a threatening growl? Tick hadn’t challenged one even once; he’d seen smarties fly over fences and slam into the ground right in front of him, or soon-mummahs used as beach balls. For the good of himself and his herd, he knew he had to avoid conflict.

But nobody in his herd knew that, and as a result he each and every day faced complaints, mainly from his toughies. “Hewd is big! Toughy am weawwy stwong! Nu haf to wun!”

“Nu can fight hoomans! Hoomans awe too–”

Tick trailed off as he realized the rest of his herd was murmuring in agreement. They were siding with the toughy? If this kept up, he really would lose everyone’s trust, and they would go with the toughy - with a new smarty who’d get everyone killed!

“Fine!” he barked. “Smawty wiww pwove nu am cowawd! Wiww take ovah next wand hewd passes!”

He grumbled as he turned and begun to walk again, herd in tow.

“NUUUUUU!!”

“Mister Nuffles! Get back here!”

The distraught scream of a fluffy rang out from the other side of a tall fence, along with the yelling of a female human. A yard, and one that was occupied. Tick found himself hesitating; while he had made his promise, entering this particular yard … He glanced to his herd. Many of them were hesitant, not wanting to send their leader to his certain death, but the toughy who always criticized him was way too enamored with the possibility of becoming the next smarty.

“Yu said go, smawty, so yu go,” he pointed out, and Tick instinctively grew defensive. It was obvious that the toughy expected him to back down, and he refused to lose.

“Smawty am going!” he shot back, and begun to dig under the fence. Thankfully there was already a hole, and within moments he had squeezed through to the other side.

“Mister Nuffleeeees,” whined a small human as she sat on her knees by the steps to the house, trying to dig out something from below the patio. A mournful “nuuuu” betrayed just what that thing was; if he was to save the fluffy, he had to act now!

“Hooman!” he shouted, causing the girl to pause and then sit up properly, looking over. Not quite sure what to say or do, Tick stomped a hoof. “Dis Smawty wand nao! Weave ow get biggest huw–”

In the time it had taken him to say that, the girl had stood up, dusted off her dress, walked up to him, and crouched down to watch the fluffy up close. Tick put on his most threatening aura, but the human’s face just split into a big smile.

“Hey, hey, do YOU want to play?” she asked. “We’re playing wedding and Mister Nuffles won’t wear his dress!”

“Pway? Hooman wan… pway with smawty?” Tick blinked. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d played with anyone, and the prospect of a human game was completely alien. “How?”

“I’ll show you!” Without missing a beat, the girl reached out and grabbed Tick around the belly, hoisting him into the air as she stood. A wave of horror swept over the smarty; this was the kind of thing humans would do before murdering a fluffy! He was doomed, this innocent-looking girl was going to kick him in half and beat the remains with a wooden pike!

He flailed and kicked his legs, almost managing to break free from his captor, but the girl yelped and hugged him tight to keep Tick from escaping. Without knowing what to do, not wanting to scream and yell in case it would draw his herd into the yard to be destroyed, Tick just sobbed and covered his eyes with his hooves and awaited his gruesome fate.

The human put him down onto something hard, still holding him tight with one arm as she fussed with … something. Before long she was pulling his hooves away, forcing white cloth over his head and forelegs, and before he knew it…

Tick found himself sitting on a toy bench, surrounded by flowers and wearing a flowy pure white dress. The little girl smiled brightly as she placed a veil onto his head and tightened up a ribbon around his waist, then scooted back to admire her handiwork. “There you go! Aww, you’re such a pretty bride!”

A … bride? Tick stared down at himself, instinctively holding his hooves up so as not to soil the pristine fabric. He was in a wedding dress. … Why was he in a wedding dress?

“Okay, and here’s the groom!” chimed the girl and reached to a stuffed toy beside her, a big teddybear just shy of Tick’s size who was wearing a tuxedo with a little bowtie. She put the teddy next to Tick and pushed his and the toy’s heads together, absolutely beaming at the scene she had created.

“And now I’m gonna pronounce you two husband and wife, and you’ll be married and live happily foreverafter!” she explained, and Tick’s eyes widened. Wait - the Wedding Game meant getting married and living happily with a stuffy friend he’d never met!?

“Wait, nu! Nu wan mawwy stuffy!” he protested in a panic, waving his forelegs. “Nu even know stuffy fwen, is tuu sudden!”

“Wha? But you need a groom, otherwise the wedding can’t happen.” The human pouted, all her cheer dropping in favor of big, round puppy eyes. “Pleaaase? It’s only for a little bit.”

“T- Tick find bettew gwoom!” assured Tick quickly. “Tick know who wan spend west of wife with!”

“Oh!” the girl gasped, putting a hand to her mouth. “You mean-!”

“Y-Yus! Wait hewe!” Hopping down from the bench, Tick hurried to the hole in the fence and shoved himself back through it, dress and all. As he emerged the herd stared at him in wide-eyed, dead silence, but Tick just waved his hooves at one particular herd member. “Appwe, come hewe quick!”

Apple, a pretty and bright green mare, had been Tick’s crush for a long time thanks to her sweet demeanor and ditzy innocence. She nodded and followed Tick as he backed into the yard once more, dutifully walking with him back to the wedding arrangement.

“Dis is Appwe!” Tick introduced her to the human, feeling his cheeks heat up with every word. “An’- an’ Appwe am- am Tick’s um, bestes’ heawt wawmies fwen! An’- an’ Tick wuvs Appwe!”

“Scandalous!” gasped the little girl, hugging the teddybear to herself. “Leaving Mr. Teddlesworth at the altar to marry another sweetheart!”

“S-Smawty thinks Appwe am heawt wawmies…?” Apple asked with big eyes, putting her hooves to her chest. “Smawty… Smawty wuvs Appwe?”

“Y-Yus!” Tick whirled to look at his crush, putting his front hooves on hers. “Tick … Tick wants tu mawwy Appwe! Nu wants tu mawwy mistah Teddehswoth!”

Apple’s big, blue eyes grew misty and then she hugged onto him tight. “Appwe wants mawwy! Appwe wiww mawwy Tick!!”

The human girl was rubbing Mr. Teddlesworth’s back, letting the stuffed toy grieve leaned against her. “Alright… That settles it then! Mr. Teddlesworth, you won’t get married so you don’t need this…”

Forcibly undressing the teddybear, the girl grabbed hold of Apple and pulled the shocked mare aside, dressing her up in the tuxedo and bowtie before putting her - and Tick - back onto the Marriage Bench. The girl scooted back a bit, shifted to get herself into a comfortable position, and pulled up a fairytale book.

“Do you, Tick, promise to love the groom a lot?” she asked, pretending to read from the book.

“Yus, Tick awweady does!”

“No, you say ‘I do’!”

“Oh. Ah du!!”

“And does Apple promise to love the bride a lot?”

“Appwe dues!!”

Giggling, the girl shut her book with a snap. “Then you’re married! You two can kiss now!”

Tick gasped, putting his hooves to his snout. Kissing?! To think, marriage even entailed that kind of thing…! Apple was just as surprised, but then she turned to Tick and booped her snout into his.

“Appwe wuvs smawty,” she cooed.

“And now you’re having babies and eating cake and dancing,” continued the human, “and there’s bright lights and music and confetti and everything!”

Tick had no idea how the newlyweds would do all those things, especially since there was no cake or any bright lights or music in sight. There was confetti, admittedly, and the girl pushed a big flower bouquet into Apple’s hooves, but that was about it. Still, the two tried their best to hold a nice wedding, doing some pattycake in lieu of dancing.

“Oh right and I almost forgot!” cheered the girl and clapped her hands. “Okay so the wedding’s done now! And that means you’re going on your way, in a big pretty carriage! And since I don’t have any carriage --” She picked up Tick and held him facing away from her, tying something around his tail, “-- there!”

Tick turned back to see shiny bells hanging from his tail, jingling as he moved. He gasped - they were so pretty!

“Those are wedding bells!” chimed the little human delightedly as she tied similar bells around Apple’s tail. “They prove you’re married! Cuz normally you tie tin cans behind the carriage, but then Mr. Nuffles gets super upset and scared so these are better!”

“Appwe wants teww hewd,” said Apple, eyes shining. “Nee’ teww fwens dat smawty an’ Appwe awe mawwied nao!”

Tick nodded in agreement and the two ran for the hole in the fence, spurred on by the young girl’s cheers. They burst through to the other side, wedding clothes dirty and muddied from the soil, and beamed brightly as they announced the great news. “Smawty an’ Appwe am mawwied nao!!”

“WHAT!” yelled the toughy that had pushed Tick to enter the yard. “Nu! Nu! Appwe am Toughy’s speshuw fwen! Nu can mawwy dummy cowawd Smawty!!”

“Appwe nu am Toughy speshuw fwen,” replied Apple puzzledly. “Nevah had speshuw fwen… An’ Toughy am meanie fow smawty, so nu wan be Toughy speshuw fwen.”

“Nu! Dat’s nu faiw!” protested the toughy, stomping his hooves as his face grew red. “Divowce! Get divowced wight nao an’ mawwy Toughy instead!”

“Oooh,” cooed a voice from the other side of the fence, the human girl leaning over it on her tippy-toes to watch what was happening. “So much drama…! Apple’s got an ex who’s super mad about the wedding!”

“N-NU AM EX!” the toughy cried out, building a combination of rage and distress. “Nu am ex! Nu am faiw! Toughy wuvs Appwe!!”

“Bu’ Appwe wuvs Smawty,” replied Apple. “An’ am mawwied nao. Nu can be wif Toughy!”

“Nu am twue!!”

“Ooh, what if you marry Mr. Teddlesworth instead!” suggested the human with a sparkle in her eyes, cutting the argument short. “The two dumped lovers, marrying each other! It’ll be the best wedding ever!”

The toughy cycled through about five emotions within three seconds, before stomping his hooves and relenting. “… Dat’s wight. Toughy mawwy Mistah Teddehswoth an’ haf a much bettew mawwiage than dummy meanie smawty ow Appwe!”

With that, he shoved his way past the two and squeezed into the yard, grumbling. The girl waved a bit. “Hey, I’m gonna need that dress and suit back for the next wedding, okay? Come in so I can take them off!”

Said and done; Tick and Apple pushed themselves back into the yard and let the girl undress them, then watched as she began the arduous task of dressing an upset toughy in a wedding dress that was just a bit too small for him. They could have stayed for the full wedding, but Tick had a better idea and nudged Apple along as they went back out to the herd.

And so, flanked by the sounds of a rude toughy getting married to a stuffed toy, Tick took his herd and his new wife and walked off into the sunset.

20 Likes

I started on this way back on the booru so I have completely forgotten what the original ending was going to be, but hey! It’s finally done now!

Just another of my cute yet ridiculously silly ideas I’ve been wanting to finish for a while now.

5 Likes

Just what i needed to read. Lovely, just Lovely

3 Likes

Hopefully with his wife’s voice at his side the smarty can convince his heard to not get themselves into an unwinnable situation in the future! Cute as all daylights.

5 Likes

Adorable and fun. At least Tick and Apple got a happy ending.

3 Likes

Sweeter than a baked apple tart with mountain dew reduction sauce wonderful even if you feel like brushing your teeth after

5 Likes

This is absolutely adorable. It’s almost enough to melt my black little heart.

4 Likes

love it. love how fluffies just go along with shit

1 Like