"World Revolution" Part 7 by NobodyAtAll

Part 6

As me, Marley and my elder counterpart turn a monster into charcoal, out of the corner of my eye, I spot a demon flying down.

Aw, crap, is Demon Chris back for another round?

But then I notice the robe.

And there’s only one person I know who wears a robe that gaudy…

As Pierre blasts another monster with his arm cannon, he spots the newcomer.

And he smiles.

“Hello, Father. I assume our mutual friend sent you to assist us?”

François responds by incinerating several monsters with hellfire.

FWOOSH

“Indeed. I get one day with the family for every one of those things I kill. So that’s already… a week and a half. Good start, I reckon.”

Deston smiles too, levitating one of the monsters up.

“This one’s on me, Father.”

FWOOSH

François incinerates that one too.

I hear Chaos call from a rooftop. I’d know that voice anywhere.

“I’m gonna count that one, because I love the teamwork!”

“For the record, he’s been treating me decently. The occasional trick or prank, but nothing mind-breaking.”

FWOOSH

François incinerates a monster that rudely tried to interrupt the conversation.

SLASH

I cut another monster that did the same in half.

Yes, I can draw the Sword of Kings that quickly.

“We need all of these things to die, as quickly as possible, because we can’t get to fucking Umbra until they’re all dead. They’re up on Faucheuse Tower, and you’ve seen the bubble, right?”

Gene flies over, blasting monsters with his laser gun. Before you ask: he’s using flight tech, that’s not an innate power for him.

“Lumixian tech can’t get us in there. The Patrol tried. And Lumixian tech is the best tech there is. So I doubt magic could get us in. There’s only one way in.”

Marley spews a stream of fire at a monster.

FWOOSH

“Pway da game bai dey wuwes.”

I nod.

“Which means these fucking monsters need to go. Even if it wasn’t the only way to pop that bubble, they still need to go. François?”

“Yes, Cal?”

“Go earn your parole.”

François smiles.

“That’s the plan. I’ll waste the lot of them. Anything for my family.”

Audrey lands, holding out her hand to François.

“Together, my love?”

François takes it.

“Together, my love.”


Inside the lobby of Faucheuse Tower, Reggae and Mortis wait for their elevator to arrive.

“They’ve really gotta make these things faster. This is taking way too long.”

“But dat nu wud be safe fow da wivin.”

“You’ve gotta point there.”


A lone dinotite makes his way through the alleyways, having slipped through the portal near Ioka Village when the guard was looking the other way.

“Finally! Time to go eat some monkeys!”

When the dinotite exits an alleyway and walks into the battlefield, he takes one look at the complete and utter mayhem unfolding around him, and slowly backs into the alleyway.

“Fuck that, I suddenly think it would be a really good idea to go home.”

Nobody notices him.


In another alleyway, a door appears, and opens.

Igor walks out, followed by several of his regular customers.

Igor starts barking out orders.

“You, in the red cape! Get up there and start doing that eye laser thing! You, in the orange pajamas! You got that pole? No? Then do that yellow hair thing! Yes, I know you’ve got stronger forms, but this ain’t your party! You, in the green tunic! Stab the cunts! And tell your fairy to shut up already! You, in the underoos! Put some dirt in their eyes, and keep the quips to a minimum! You, skeleton guy! Give them a bad time, and also keep the quips to a minimum! You, in the green armor! Rip and tear until it’s done! They should be demonic enough for you! And when we’re done here, drinks are fffffffrrrrrrr… half price! That’s the best you’re getting from me, boys. Remember: you’re here to play support, don’t steal the spotlight!”

The patrons obey, moving out of the alleyway to fight the monsters.

Igor calls the armored man back for a moment.

“Don’t touch the actual demons, they’re on our side for once. Yes, really. I know it’s hard to believe. If you see the demonic Chris and James out there, you can fuck them up.”


As I’m hacking and slashing monsters, I see François and Audrey unleash the combined might of Earth, Heaven and Hell upon the bastards, in the form of a magically enhanced ball of hellfire and holy fire.

BOOM

Damn, they’re a formidable team. I’ve gotta ask Chaos if François can do ChaotiX work. Maybe he can earn some more time with his family.

Future Marley and Slayer are doing the same, without the magic.

“FIWF OF DA WAND, HEAW OUW WOWDS!!!”

“AN SEE OUW ACK-SHUNS!!!”

"MAWWEY AM DA SEW-VUNT OF HEVUN!!!

“AN SWAYEW AM DA EEE-MISS-AWWY OF HEWW!!!”

"TUGEBA, WE WIWW WAIN DEFF UPAWN YU!!!"

They’re a formidable team too.

I wonder, what would you get if an angel and a demon merged together?

An anmon? A demgel?

An oxymoron?

That… wasn’t entirely a rhetorical question, but thanks, guys.

Pierre and Deston fight together too, with arm cannons and magic.

“ARE YOU SEEING THIS, UMBRA?!?”

BOOM

“THAT’S WHAT I’LL DO TO YOU!!!”

SHYNT! BYE, UGLY!!! PLAY NICE WITH THOSE TENTACLE MONSTERS!!!”

Alpha and Beta just punch through the monsters with golden fists.

WHAM

“I’M GONNA DO THIS TO YOU WHEN I CATCH UP WITH YOU, HANS!!!”

Erwin blasts the monsters with the rainbow-colored energy of the Omega Drives.

“WE’LL KILL HIM TOGETHER, ALPHA!!!”

“FINE BY ME, ERWIN!!!”

June runs over to Greebo, who is still in human form, noticing his injuries.

Bulan! All better now, dearie.”

“Thank you, Nanny. Greebo am having lots of fun!”

Floris runs over to Herb, climbing up on his back.

“If the bitch thinks she’s seen the last of us, she’s barking up the wrong tree!”

“Ha! Gud wun, daddeh!”

Floris rides his monstrous garden fluffy into battle, casting spells from atop his majestic steed.

Jack jumps over to me.

“I don’t think there’s a lot of these things left, Cal.”

“Just a few more, Jack. Then, we go for the Fateful Five.”

“Did you just come up with that name on the spot?”

“Why yes, yes I did.”

We both look up at Faucheuse Tower.

“You gonna need my help for that one, Cal?”

“Not this time, Jack. This is personal. I hope you understand.”

Jack nods.

“I do. I never really met any of those assholes up there. It would be a bit awkward if I showed up.”

“This all started with me and Umbra. I have a feeling it should end that way, too.”


On the roof of Faucheuse Tower, Umbra, Hans and Demeter look down upon the battlefield.

Chris and James are still being forced to sit in silence.

“By my estimate, there’s 15% of the Forces of Fate left.”

“Estimate? You’re a machine. Can’t you calculate the exact number?”

“Actually, I KNOW the exact number, but it’s irrelevant. The relevant part is that the battle is almost over.”

“Which means he’ll be coming soon. And I would be very surprised if he comes alone.”

Umbra turns to the two demons.

“If I break the Domis on you, are you going to start arguing again? Do not lie to me.”

The demons shake their heads.

“Good. Dysp. Do not make me regret this.”

Chris and James get back up, and James already has a question to ask.

“Can someone explain what the FUCK those two gingers did?”

“I can explain, James. I’ll keep it simple, because I know how much you struggle with big words. Keep that finger down or I won’t say a word.”

As Hans starts explaining to James about the Bands of Merging, Chris listening in, Umbra turns to Demeter.

Muflys.

Having prevented the two Oldmans from overhearing him, Umbra speaks freely.

“Why do we even put up with those two, Demeter?”

“I don’t know what the Boss was thinking, making us work with those dolts. All the power of Omegas at their fingertips and they didn’t know how to use it! Why did you even summon them in the first place, back when you ran the Order?”

“Because I knew that Chris had a grudge against Korkea, and as for James… well, I thought he’d be an excellent demon. Obviously, I was wrong.”

“There HAS to be a reason the Boss is making James work with us. I think, if I was his age, the horny little bastard would be trying EVERY sleazy pick-up line in the book on me.”

“You wouldn’t have to be that young. Haven’t you heard him blather on about his MILF fetish? Hold on. Did you and Floris ever have children?”

“Nope. I can’t STAND children. They’re so… vulnerable. Many species are born ready to hunt, but humans are helpless for so long, it sickens me!”

“Yes, I see what you mean. Anyone who says that shitrats are too fragile has clearly never seen what happens when you press down hard on that soft spot human babies have on their heads. I’ve done that. It’s hilarious.

“I was there when Morte was born, and believe me, it took everything I had to not snap the little bastard’s neck right then and there when he threw up on me.”

“You must have been happy when you heard about the car crash. You know it was Bertie who arranged it? I met him in my timeline, after I turned Earth into an asteroid field. He wasn’t happy that I beat him to blowing Earth up, but he loved the irony of one of his father’s creations killing Pierre and everyone he loves. And in the body of Pierre’s protégé, no less!”

“I never liked Bertie either. He had NO respect for Nature. But he did kill Isabella, my bitch of a sister-in-law, so he’s not ALL bad.”

pop

Dysp. Ah, speak of the devil. Hello, Bertie. I almost thought you weren’t going to join us.”

“Stop calling me that already!”


SLASH

I take down the last of the monsters.

“About fucking time!”

Hear, hear! Even I’M sick of this shit.

Now that the hors d’oeuvres are out of the way… time for the main course, Cal.

Damn it, Fi! Now I’m hungry!

Me and Marley look up at Faucheuse Tower.

The bubble starts fading away.

“Su nao wut, daddeh?”

“Now? We go for the Fateful Five.”

Pierre chuckles.

“Not a bad name for that band of rogues, I must say.”

“Doc, you’re coming with us. And you, Des.”

The Docs step up.

“Annie! Floris! You too!”

So do those two.

“Alpha! Erwin!”

So do those two.

“Chris! James! Miles!”

And so do those three.

“The rest of you, stay on guard, in case more show up! I’ve put together a plan!”

I tell everyone the plan.

Except you, dear readers. You know what happens when the audience is in on the plan.

You’ll just have to wait and see.

“Everyone got it?”

Everyone confirms that they got it.

“Then we’re heading up there. Let’s finish it. Whatever it takes. We must survive.”

And then the squad I’ve put together on the spot makes its way to the roof of Faucheuse Tower.

Where it all began, exactly as Umbra said.

It’s been a while since anything happened there, hasn’t it?

Part 8

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