Make them think you’re giving them upsies, but instead toss them into the air as high as you can and then laugh at them after they go splat.
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Given the sentient turd is referring to itself as “bestest”, I’m gonna say break them spiritually until they recognize that they are worstest.
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I mean…
“bestest” = death
but
“poopieh” = jesus
we might just have to think outside the box with this one
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Bestest? Brown?
Someone has been lying to you for a long time.
Time for your retraining! 
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chuck em into traffic
Turn her into mare-inigun that shoots out foals
Give her a good super kick to the face
Sorry. My housie isn’t nice enough for a BESTEST fluffy. I’ll have to adopt a worser fluffy.
You see there’s the problem here, she called herself “bestest”. Fluffies aren’t supposed to feel entitled to call themselves such things because they have to earn it.
Put her through some emotional and psychological hoops and see what’s wrong with her. If she’s a BMS or Smarty then dispose of her