Author's Note
After months I was finally able to finish this piece! It took forever haha but at least I got something done.
This is for the one (1) person who wanted to see this lil guy get a bath.
I also decided to add navigation links to the top and bottom. Let me know if you like that or not.
“Hold still!”
“Wawa am bad fo’ fwuffy!”
Parker wrestled with the filthy fluffy in the bathtub.
“You’re getting water everywhere!” they shouted, holding the fluffy back from the edge of the tub with one hand. Brown water trickled down the side and pooled on the floor. There was enough of it already to start soaking into the corner of the bathmat.
The fluffy, a dingy yellow colour with a just as dingy green mane, squirmed and wriggled against Parker’s hand, letting out a series of distressed huu-huu’s. He was too short to get out of the bath on his own, but that didn’t stop him from using his front legs to grip onto the edge of the tub to try anyway.
“W-Wawa su baddies fo’ fwuffy! Nu wan’! Nu wan’!”
The water was only up to the fluffy’s knees and was already an opaque brown. The poor little guy was covered in dirt, and probably shit too. Parker had been approached while on a walk around their neighbourhood, and the thing looked so pathetic as he begged for a ‘wawm housie’ that Parker really couldn’t say no.
Parker reached down into the tub to pull the plug, letting the water drain. “Okay, the water is going away. Just relax, little guy. It won’t hurt you.”
“Huuu, nu wike baddie wawas,” the fluffy whined as his font legs stayed gripped around the tub’s edge. “Pwease nyu daddeh, wet fwuffy ou’ of meanie tub!”
Parker sighed heavily, hearing the water slorp down the drain. These things were like children, so maybe talking to them like children would work better. “Look buddy, this water is good. It’s going to make you clean. Don’t you want to be clean?”
“Bu’ wawa am bad! Bad fo’ fwuffies!” He looked up at Parker with begging blue eyes. “Wet ou’! Pwease nyu daddeh?”
The water had drained out, and Parker put the plug in again. “As your new dad,” they say, fine with the masculine title, “I say you need a bath. No dirty fluffies allowed.”
The fluffy whined and huu’d, letting go of the tub and scurrying to the far end when the water came out of the tap. He watched it get closer and closer to his back hooves, which tip-tapped nervously. “Huu…! Nu wan wawas, bu’ nyu daddeh say nu can be in housie wif nu baffies…” he said to himself, struggling against his programmed fear of water and innate desire to please.
Parker nodded and wet a blue handcloth under the running water. “That’s right. Can you be a brave fluffy and have a bath? You’ll feel so much better when you’re clean. I promise.”
“F-Fwuffy can be bwave!” The fluffy puffed his cheeks and chest out, but he squeaked nervously when the water reached his leathery hooves. It was warm. He huu’d again and looked up at Parker. “Wawas nu feew baddies…”
“See? That’s good water.” He grabbed an orange fluffy shampoo bottle they had borrowed from their neighbour, opened the cap, and held it near the fluffy’s nose. “And this is shampoo. I’m going to scrub you with it.”
The fluffy sniffed the shampoo, then gasped softly as the artificial scent of oranges reached his nostrils. “Smeww pwetty!” He smiled, distracted enough that he didn’t feel the water reaching his leg fluff.
“Yeah, you’re going to smell like this when your bath is done.” They tipped the bottle upside down to squirt some product onto the fluffy’s back.
“Eep! Cowdies!”
Parker reached over to the tap to turn it off. “You’re doing good so far, bud.”
The water was already turning brown around the fluffy’s legs, little swirls forming as it faded into the clear sections. They could see the fluffy was still nervous as he just stood there. Parker smiled at him, then scrubbed the shampoo into his dirty fluff.
“So, what were you doing outside? Where were you before?” Parker asked, partly out of curiosity and partly to keep the fluffy distracted.
“F-Fwuffy wive ou’side fo’ su many fo’eba’s,” he said, significantly calmer now that Parker was massaging and scrubbing him. He was so desperate for human touch; he leaned hard against Parker’s hands. “Owd daddeh wet fwuffy ou’ of metow cagey and said ‘gu on, get’! Said …” he paused, struggling to find the words, “ ‘How was ‘posed to knu it was … ih-wee-gow’ or somet’in.”
“Illegal?”
The fluffy nodded. “Owd daddeh was ih-wee-gow fo’ keepin’ su many fwuffies!”
Parker’s brow furrowed as they thought about that, recalling a news story. “I think I know what you’re talking about, little guy.” They squirted more shampoo onto their hand and picked up one of the fluffy’s front legs. He was surprisingly compliant. “A guy was keeping fluffies to breed them for their fluff, but he didn’t have a license. I thought the authorities found all the fluffies he let go…”
“What am wie-sense?” the fluffy asks as he let Parker thoroughly wash his legs. “Huu…”
“Oh, uh, it’s like…permission. Your old daddy didn’t have permission to have all of you, so he went to, uh, the big sorry box for humans.”
That elicited a large gasp from the fluffy. “Owd daddeh su bad, den! Huu, Wowse den fwuffy knu. Owd daddy wet fwuffy hab wotsa enfies wif wotsa pwetty mawes, but nu wet hab speshuw fwiend ow babbehs. It nu faiw! Huu huu…!”
Parker washed the fluffy’s tail, getting all the solid bits of dirt out of it. “I’m sorry, little guy…” he said, sympathizing, but also thinking of the neutering he would need. It was against the law to keep a pet fluffy without sterilizing them if you had no intention of breeding. And Parker couldn’t afford more than one fluffy.
“Am ‘widdow guy’ nyu namesie?” the fluffy asked shyly as he stared up at Parker with big hopeful eyes.
“Uh,” Parker laughed a bit, “it’s just a nickname thing. Something cute.” He had a good look at the fluffy and couldn’t help but smile. He looked extra poofy with all the dirty shampoo lather. He needed to think of a good name for his new ‘poopy’ fluffy. “But how about this – If you’re extra good for the rest of your bath, I’ll give you a name.”
Parker smiled even more as the fluffy’s face lit up. “Weawwy? Fwuffy be suuu gud fo’ baffies, den! Wan nyu namsie!” He wiggled, almost breaking into a dance but Parker held him still.
“Okay, buddy, calm down. Remember, be good.”
The fluffy stayed as still as he could as Parker rinsed him off with a green plastic cup they’d brought in from their kitchen. They pulled the plug on the dirty water and used fresh water from the tap for the rinse. The fluffy’s coat lost a lot of the dinge; the dirt and grime had hidden the pleasingly bright yellow he’d had all along. His tail’s true colour was a nice spring green.
“Wow, look at you,” Parker said with a smile. “So good, and so pretty!”
The fluffy smiles, still clearly uncomfortable but he was doing his best to be a ‘good fluffy’. “Weawwy? Fwuffy am pwetty ‘gain?”
Parker nodded. “Almost.” He took a deep breath. “Now this is going to be the hardest part. I need to wash your face, so you need to close your eyes tight, okay? Or else you’ll…ah…” What was the fluffy terminology for this? “you’ll get burnie hurties!”
The fluffy gasped and let out some huu’s, shutting his eyes tight. “Nu wan buwnie huwties, nyu daddeh! Nu huwt fwuffy!”
“You’ll be okay, little guy. The shampoo hurts when it gets in your eyes, so keep them closed, okay?”
The fluffy nodded vigorously, his eyes shut so tight his face was scrunching. Parker thought he looked so cute.
“Okay, here we go,” they said as they squirted some shampoo onto the fluffy’s face, being careful of his eyes. Parker scrubbed as quickly and as thoroughly as they could. They had to hold him a little tighter than they wanted to keep the fluffy from squirming around too much. “Almost done…” they said as they used clean tap water to rinse the little guy’s face with the green cup. The fluffy was still squeezing his eyes shut. Parker wondered if it hurt.
With one final rinse, Parker set the cup down on the floor next to the little dirty puddle. “You’re all done! Good job!” They felt a little strange saying these things. They were never that great with children. Why was it so different with this miniature talking horse-pig?
“Weawy? Fwuffy am done wif baffies? Am smeww pwetty? Am good fwuffy?” He opened his eyes and wiggled his body.
Parker grunts as they stand up, their knees sore from kneeling so long. Getting older sucked. They grabbed a spare towel from the top shelf near the door – a faded blue one that was fraying at the edges. “Yes, you were very good.” They covered their hands with the towel to pick up the fluffy to dry.
The fluffy leaned hard against Parker and cooed happily as he was dried. The feeling of being held and loved… it was almost overwhelming for him.
Parker hugs their new pet, rocking him slightly and humming. “How about a name now, huh?”
“Yus! Wan nyu namsie!”
Parker thought for a bit, the lemon-lime colouring of the critter in their arms made them think of summer. They smile. “I know. Lemonade.”