This really reminds me of my first story, it seems like a lot of talented writers start with a simple, hugbox-oriented story. I never ended up releasing mine, but I felt like it was good training.
I’ll need to do a shout-out to the fantastic BBCode Guide [update July '21] by Virga, I’m biased of course though I’m quite fond of stories utilizing colored code to highlight fluffy dialogue. Outside of that, BBC a creative tool for writers to make certain things stand out.
You have the hallmarks of a good writer, I think, I’m always happy to see new people pick up the pen and bless the site with new stories, so first of all welcome! I’d like to say that the beginning was a bit rushed, which isn’t a bad thing in a sense, but the thing that threw me off were those very brief time-skips between paragraphs, they seemed to happen quite frequently. Though don’t let that discourage you! It’s just my perspective. The rest of the story was well-written and I genuinely loved the way you wrapped the chapter up.
I’m curious to see where this goes, looking forward to more!