Have YOU ever wanted to try recipes involving fluffy pony based products? Because starting today, our new host, Argent Wayne, will start posting dedicated recipes! Today we shall have one involving foals
Type: Abuse/Neutralbox
Ingredients:
Marinate: half a gallon of cultured fluffy buttermilk, 1 tablespoon of molasses, one cup of citrus juice
Brine: Salt, Pepper and Spices as per one’s taste, water
Stuffing: 3 tablespoons of breadcrumbs, marinara sauce and grinded cheese (per foal)
Blanket: 1 bowl of brown butter, 1 third of a pot of powdered milk (per 5 foals)
And, of course, the foals!
Preparations:
Foals: If you plan to buy the foals, feel free to skip this part. If not, carry on. For the best results, it is indispensable that the mare be fed with Hasbio SoonMummah Kibble to ensure a healthy litter. As soon as they are born, they should be fed with FoalFat™ Hypercaloric formula. This formula is mostly carbohydrates (80%) with the remaining (20%) are essential amino acids and fatty acids, with trace amounts of vitamins and minerals. Foal movement should be kept to a minimum for tender meat, but never restrained as the stress can make the meat go bad. Even if you are an abuser, be patient. The foals will reach their ideal age just before being weaned.
Marinede: Mix the buttermilk, molasses and citrus juice together in the same recipient and stir until homogeneity. The lactic and citric acids will tenderize the meat while the molasses will add sweetness and nutrient density
Brine: Mix your choice of ingredients in water and set to boil. The brine can be made some days in advance as it doesn’t need to be boiling, just warm
Stuffing: Mix all ingredients together and let sit. The bread crumbs will absorb part of the sauce and add consistency so it won’t fall out when the foal is cut open
Blanket: DON’T mix the ingredients together, they should be used one at a time
Making:
When the foals are of sufficient age and fat, remove their fluff and set to marinate. The best way is to use a Fluff-Be-Gone bath, especially for large batches. Boiling water will cause stress and leave an inferior product. If you don’t have specialized equipment to holding the foals head above the marinade, a simple trick is to cut holes at the bottom of egg cartons and pass their heads inside. Leave them to marinate for 3 whole days with no water or food. Don’t forget the industrial plugs
If you don’t want the foals to suffer unnecessary pain from this point onward, hold your index finger at their forehead and your thumb where the head meets the neck. Then pull upwards while pressing their head downward, carefully to not kill them, until you hear an audible pop. From this point forward, they will be fully paralyzed from the neck downwards and won’t feel any pain there as well
Grab a small knife and make a cut starting from the belly upwards. Then use an ice cream scoop to remove all vicera, except for the heart and lungs. Proceed to fill the interior with the stuffing. Close the wound the stapleless staples
Use a turkey syringe to inject the brine. Inject in the chest, belly, legs, upper and lower back. The brine will add flavor and further tenderness
Cut off the hooves and cover with aluminum foil. Booties can be added after cooking
Apply first the brown butter with a brush before speckling the powdered milk. The sugars in the powdered milk will caramelize under the heat and provide an exceptional crackling exterior. Foals will be too fat to lick the blanket off their bodies
Put foals on the tray, aluminum or glass is fine, and send to a preheated oven at 180 degrees Celsius, because no one uses Fahrenheit, and leave for 45 minutes or until golden brown. Keep an eye so the powdered milk won’t burn and turn black. If it begins to burn, turn down the heat to 170-165 degrees, but you will need to keep in the oven for longer. At this point, it’s impossible to avoid causing pain to the foals, so try to use their chirps as a time chart for how well cooked the meat is (and/or entertainment). Once done, serve with a side of potato dumplings and oenobeer of your choice
Result:
The exterior will be slightly crunchy on the outside, while being very sweet from the milk sugars and meat juices. The heavily marbleized meat will be exquisitely tender and juicy, with the stuffing adding much needed richness. The barelly mineralized bones add a crunchy aftertaste to the tender meat, and can be eaten in their entirety. The face of the foals will be stuck in a mixture of pain and anguish (ignore or enjoy, but don’t eat)
This is it for now, check later for more recipes!