I’d train them to be service and companion animals for nursing homes and hospitals. They could be great company for people with no family and alert the nurses if anything were to happen.
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I’d have at least two or three as pets. I’d stomp out any feral that stepped into my house without permission, but for the most part I’d find irl fluffies to be rather charming.
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If I have kids, then keeping my toddlers entertained. (Danceh babbeh routine, the whole cutesy toy vibe they carry etc)
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Playing with my children while I complete my chores.
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Sing the “good poopies go in wittabox” song from just outside the bathroom door to my children while they sit on the toilet
to encourage them to be potty trained. -
Perform simple enough chores, like bringing stuff to their “wittle mummah/daddeh” and singing lullabies to my children to help them fall asleep.
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If they come with foals, they must allow their least favourite foal/ poopy baby/ munstah baby to be used for rough playing by my future kids (I’m so generous like that, would let them keep their other babbehs safely, out of the toddlers reach)
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If they can do these chores, I pay them with sketties. If not, if my children get hurt or upset with them, wowstes huwties, maybe foweba sweepies too
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Yeah, I’d probably have two of them just to keep as pets. Not smarty’s though, I’d leaves them outside and make sure a fence is up to keep them away
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Have two in house pets while simultaneously having a couple ones in the basement solely for all sorts of abuse.
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Keep some at home as toys for my stress relief/rage issues, also some foals for my cat as toys to hunt.
I don’t see fluffies as animals and potential pets in any headcanon, my level of empathy to them varies from a robot created for certain purpose to an annoying bug which is legal to smash.
Nobody feels sorry for punching bags in the gym or ants in the street.
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I’d run a fluffy daycare/boarding facility, going off the idea that fluffies would still be considered ‘biotoys’ instead of domestic animals. Way less overhead, probably wouldn’t even need a kennel license. I’d get my fluffy fix while still getting some peace and quiet now and then at home.
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Maybe volunteer at a fluffy shelter. I don’t think my ferrets would leave any alive if I brought them inside (they’re notorious for killing things way bigger than themselves) and honestly I prefer a pet which does NOT talk. Silence is fun and I like to read aloud to myself so pets who don’t care what I’m saying are best.
Fictional abusebox is fun but anyone who would sincerely IRL torture an innocent creature which is demonstrably as smart as a small child and can verbally tell you it’s in pain needs to be locked away.
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If fluffies were real I would hate them so much, full stop. I dislike shrieking and loud children, so fluffies would be so insufferable.
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Probably as pets. Domestic ones are usually great pets, they can communicate with you, which is cool, and by and large they’re extremely friendly little critters. I find them rather cute. So yeah, I’d keep a couple around as housepets, litter train them, and just generally enjoy having the company around my home.
I’d consider feral ones to be hit or miss. They’re either cute, mostly harmless, and can be talked into cutting out any shithead behavior they might be performing… OR they’re a stinky, shitting, loud, and obstinate batch of vermin.
In the case of the first, they’re fine. Worst I’ll do is tell them to fuck off somewhere else.
In the case of the second? Handle that shit the way we handle any vermin out in my neck of the woods: .22 rifle, shovel.
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I’d love to have a pet that could communicate to me if something is wrong. With my dogs there is a lot of guesswork and trial and error. I love them so much though.
I’d have a fluffy for emotional support but goddamn would I fluffy-proof my house like crazy. I’m talking pool noodles on corners, electric sockets covered up, cabinets locked with baby-proof locks, I don’t trust a fluffy to not get killed.
That being said, I don’t think I’d bury any of my pet Fluffies because the sheer number of dead Fluffies buried in the backyard would outnumber the amount of pets living.
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Depends on how much hive canon is true…
Anyway, as of typing this, using them as a cat toy does seem viable (my family has 5)…
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Bait.
The correct answer is bait.
No one would have these things as pets, say that as much as you want, but there’s no way in hell anyone would keep a pet where you have to constantly, I mean for hours each day, follow around and clean up its poop.
Then five minutes after you clean it, it leaks shit off its ass and drags it all across the carpet. You’ll be cleaning your house constantly, and the smell with lender no matter what products you use.
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Why would you have to follow it around and clean up after it for hours? You clean a litterbox one time a day, and even if it needs more than that, people still have human babies which need changing several times a day.
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I’d absolutely want a few as beloved pets in my home, but part of me really wants to gaslight and trap a feral herd and play Black and White if any of you remember that game. Make the fluffies worship me through fear or awe.
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id sign to be an exterminator for the company to blow off steam. they likely WOULD cause all the disgusting issues theyre known to cause, (backed up sewers, shit everywhere, killing native plants and wildlife, shit and bodies poisoning water) id make sure to rip them out of hiding with the hook nice and slow too, while i think of all my days stressors.
+easy income
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