You’re Oscar! Your life is AWESOME!
You live with the bestest daddeh EVER! He gives you the bestest nummies, and skettis for din-dins every Sunday! You’re not sure how often that is, but it’s pretty regular.
You have the bestest safe room! It has walls with bright colors and pretty pictures all over, the floor is nice and soft, your litter box scoops itself (you thought daddeh was soooooo clever when he gave you that one instead of the old one. How did he teach the litter box to scoop poopies?), you have the bestest, comfiest, warmest nesties, and a night light so it doesn’t get dark and scary when you make sleepies.
And every day, you get to go to an exciting new place with daddy in his movey-house! It’s a house that moves! And windows on every wall! You can see all kinds of fun things as it moves! When it stops, he takes you out of the movey-house and you go inside a different house. Some of these are houses like yours where a daddeh or mummah or daddeh AND mummah live with their fluffies! Sometimes the houses aren’t like yours and you don’t think the hoomins live there, but the fluffies do. In either case, they always introduce you to a new friend! It’s always a pretty mare, and you get to play with her and make special huggies all day! When you’re done, daddeh gives you a nummies treat and you go in the movey-house to go back to your house and your AWESOME safe room again!
You love your life. You love your daddeh. And he loves you. He always tells you what a good fluffy you are and how you make him soooo happy! You’re never a bad fluffy, you always try your hardest to be a good fluffy, and it pays off. Daddeh loves your very much. He never gets mad at you, because you’re such a good, obedient fluffy. He didn’t even get mad at you the one time you didn’t give special huggies, because you told him the fluffy you were there to play with was a filly, not a mare, and she was too little for special huggies. He just patted you on the head, said you were a good fluffy, and let you play with her the rest of the day while he talked to her mummah. Later, you don’t know how much later, you got to play with her again, and THEN you gave her special huggies, because she wasn’t a filly anymore. You got two cookies then.
Then one day, after you finished playing and giving special huggies to another pretty mare, daddeh’s movey-house made a loud, scary noise and stopped! Daddeh told you he was fat and tired, but that confused you; daddeh wasn’t fat, but you could understand being tired because it was almost dark times! He got out of the movey-house to play with something, but you got scared being in the movey-house alone and cried. Kind daddeh open the door so he could talk to you and tell you it was safe and not scary. He did such a good job, you decided to show him how brave he made you! So you wiggled out of your special chair and hopped out to give him huggsies and show how brave you were!
But when you hopped out and walked behind the movey-house to get where daddeh was, he walked in front of the movey-house and got in and the movey-house ran away! Without you! You yelled for daddeh and tried to chase him, but the movey-house was way too fast for you to keep up! Daddeh and the movey-house disappeared! You tried to keep following, even though you couldn’t see the movey-house anymore, but then the hard floor that movey-houses run on went three different directions! You didn’t know where to go. How far away was your house from here? Which direction? You laid down and cried, wishing daddeh would see you were gone and come back for you.
Then a BIG movey-house came from behind you with bright lights in your eyes and made a loud, scary HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK roar at you! You made scaredy poopies and ran off the hard floor so the monster wouldn’t get you! It roared again and you ran as fast as you could to get away! After a while, you got tired and stopped running, and noticed you were in a bunch of trees. Hurray! You escaped the monster AND you found your house! But then you noticed that these weren’t the trees that grew in front of your house, and you were sad again. Then you remembered that it was the dark times and got scared. THEN you realized that you were lost and didn’t know how to get back to the hard floor movey-houses run on and couldn’t find daddeh when he came back for you!
You laid down and cried until the shiney ball came up in the sky, and then you noticed you had tummie owies. You looked around for nummies, but couldn’t find any. You spent all day looking for nummies, and had the worstest tummie owies, but you couldn’t find ANY! You laid down and cried again, wishing daddeh would come find you. The dark times came again and you hid under some dry leavesies so the monsters couldn’t find you.
The next bright time, you looked for nummies again. You found some grassies and sniffed them. They smelled good! Daddeh always fussed when you tried to eat grassies in the yard, but you’re sooooo hungry and have the worstest tummie owies! Surely daddeh would understand if you ate some grassies, just to make the tummie owies go away? He’s a good daddeh, of course he would!
You eat the grassies. You eat and you eat and you eat until the tummie owies are all gone. You much prefer the nummies daddeh gives you, but you decide that grassies aren’t bad.
Your tummie owies are gone, but now you have… they’re not owies, but you definitely have an odd feeling in your special lumps. It makes you uncomfortable. Now that you have a full tummeh, you need to look for your house and daddeh again!
Several more bright times and dark times go by, and you still haven’t found daddeh. Your tummie owies are gone because you eat the grassies you find, but you’ve had owies in your special lumps for a while now. It makes you walk funny and cry.
You lay down under a little tree (you think it’s called a bush, but you’re not sure; it might be a little tree. Daddeh would know.) to rest and wish the owies in your special lumps would go away.
Suddenly, you smell something! Something wonderful! You sniff the air and… YES! IT’S A FLUFFY! You’re so excited, you make bad peepees under the bush! You try to see where they are and- there they are! A big, red stallion (the biggest, strongest fluffy you’ve ever seen! He’s a little scary…) and… a pretty mare! You haven’t gotten to play or give special huggies to a pretty mare since you lost daddeh!
Suddenly, you know what will make the owies in your special lumps go away. You need special huggies. You need special huggies RIGHT NOW.
You run out of the bush to greet the mare; you’re shouting something to her, but you’re so excited you don’t even know what it is! This is the bestest day since you lost daddeh! Finally, you’re not alone! And you can have special huggies and make the owies go away!
The big, red stallion knocks you off the mare and yells at you. This is his mare, not yours. You make sorries with him and he lets you follow him and the mare; he seems to know where he’s going, and you’re scared to be by yourself again, so you tag along.
But the owies in your special lumps are worse. You’re walking funny again, and you NEED special huggies! You try to get the mare to play with you, but she won’t let you! And the big, meanie stallion knocks you down again and gives you owies! You don’t understand, why can’t you- wait, she has tummeh babies? Now you feel like a bad fluffy. Special huggies are bad for tummeh babies. You make sorries and follow them some more, but the owies in your special lumps are sooooo bad! The worstest!
You smell the mare as she walks along. You look at her. She smells like she has tummeh babies, but she doesn’t LOOK like she has tummeh babies. She must have just got them. Then… then maybe special huggies wouldn’t hurt the tummeh babies, because they’re sooooo little? That makes sense. You try to get her to play with you again. And again. And again. She rejects you every time and the stallion gives you owies. You try to be a good fluffy, but it hurts! You need special huggies! Daddeh made sure you got special huggies every bright time, and it’s been so long! It hurts! Just once wouldn’t be bad for the tummeh babies, right?
You try to play with the mare again. You so desperately need the owies in your special lumps to go away.
The big stallion knocks you down again, and this time he sits on top of you so you can’t move. It’s not fair! You just want the owies to go away! You don’t WANT to be a bad fluffy! Wait, what’s he doi-
Oh, FUCK!
