The curtains draw back from the stage. A spotlight cuts through the darkness like a speeding train through fog, illuminating a solitary pillowfluff on a stool. He is dressed in a sack patterned to look like a tuxedo, and his hair has been combed out straight then slicked back. The crowd murmurs questions to one another. Who is this pillow? Why is he so fancy? What does he hope to accomplish here?
He speaks, and all present fall silent.
"Hewwo fwends! Am ebbybuddy fabwit wittwe piwwow, Wacecaw! Nomawwy onwy hab saddies an make huhuhus bu nu tudaysies! Wacecaw am bewwy bewwy 'cited tu teww aww gud hoomins bout bestest webbysite pwace ebba!" A screen is lowered behind Racecar, and as it hums to life, the homepage for www.fluffycommunity.com appears in all its glory.
“Weddit am wotsa funsies, bu nyu fwuffy site hab su many mowe happies! Aww da bestest awtists an wai…wai…wiw…wwwwww…aaaaight…ewws? Huuu wowd tuu hawd fow Wacecaw! Huhuhuhuhu…” The sad pillow had lost his confidence and suddenly the stage fright and fear of failure crept in to ruin his focus.
Fortunately he had help. A surly looking chubby fluffy stomps out, cheeks pre-puffed in rage.
“Dummeh Wacecaw stahp cwyin! Ou wook wike bigges’ poopy dummeh nu weggie POOPY! Baxtew nu wan du ad-buh-taiz-mint needew bu dummeh Wacecaw haftu finish ow nu get sketties!” Racecar was quaking in fear as he proceeded.
“W…weww…aww Wacecaw bestest fwends am dewe and-”
“Dummeh! Shaddup! Ou onwy fwend am gud Baxtew! Nu 'wowed tu hab udda fwends! Baxtew wiww gib dem wowstest fowebba sweepies!”
Racecar gasped. “Nu! Pwease Meanie Smawty Baxtew! Nu huwt Wacecaws fwends! Dey onwy fing wub Wacecaw!” Baxter shook his head. “Tuu wate, Baxtew gunna gu fin aww dummeh’s fwends nao cuz dummeh tuu swow ebba catch gud Baxtew. Goobai, dummeh!” With that, the angry ball of fluff and spittle walked off to backstage.
“Nuuuuuuuu! Pwease! Nu du dis!” He returns his tear filled gaze to the crowd. "Pwease! Aww gud hoomins haftu gu tu nyu bestest fwuffy site! Wif bestest admin Biwgiw! Hab tu sabe fwends! Wacecaw nu can, am tuu dummeh an swow!"
As the curtains closed, his soft weeping filled the concert hall. The house lights came up. Everyone filed out.
“H…hewwo? Hoomins? D…daddeh? Bestest…bestest fwend Baxtew?”
Silence.
“Huuuuu aww awone…ebbywun fowget gud Wacecaw huhuhuhu…”