A direct sequel to A Change of Heart by @BFM101 and possibly deemed canon by him.
Barry the baker had had a bad day.
First his dumpster had gotten knocked over by a stupid fluffy (that he’d then tortured to death despite the fluffy pleading that it hadn’t been the one to do it) and now a tentacle monster sent by HM Revenue and Customs (formerly Inland Revenue) was telling him that unless he tortured a fluffy in front of her that he’d have to pay more taxes! And Barry wanted to keep that money!
If only he had waited to torture that dumpster-tipping fluffy until after the tentacle monster had arrived! Then he’d have killed two birds with one stone instead of having to find a fluffy.
“Wion am bwabest, smawtest fwuffy ebeh! EBWEBODY HEAW DAT?! WION AM BESTEST!”
Well, it looked like Barry was in luck.
Barry walked out to see a big yellow fluffy with a green mane eating the fallen dumpster food.
The fluffy looked up and saw Barry.
“Teehee, dummeh hoomin nu no dat Wion was da fwuffy hu make mess, nut dat odeh dummeh fwuffeh! Wion am su smawt, dummeh hoomin nebeh ebeh find dat outsies!”
Lion didn’t know it, but he’d accidentally given away sufficient evidence that he was the one who tipped over the dumpster to Barry, who was able to figure this out using his superior human brain.
And also because Lion confessed it directly to Barry.
Barry righted the dumpster, grabbed Lion, and squeezed him over it.
“SCREEEEE!!! NU SKWEEZE WION! NU AM SKWEEZE TOY! PUT WION DOWN NAO!”
Barry squeezed Lion harder until all of Lion’s shit had been squeezed into the dumpster.
Then Barry called over the tentacle monster tax agent to watch him torture a fluffy.
First Barry tied Lion to a cutting board and got out a pair of baking scissors.
Then he started cutting off as much of Lion’s fluff as he could, starting with the fluffy’s mane.
Lion cried as he was sheered.
“NU!!! NU TAKE PWETTY FWUFF! NEED DAT FOW GETTING DUMMEH MAWES!”
(‘Dummeh mawes’ is how fluffies say ‘bitches.’)
Then Barry threw Lion’s fluffy into a fire and forced the fluffy to inhale the stench.
“NU BUWN PWETTY FWUFF! NU SMEWW PWETTY! Wut Wion ebeh du to desewbe dis?!”
Barry then used a rolling pin to crush Lion’s tail slowly but thoroughly. By the time Barry was done Lion’s tail looked like a tube of toothpaste that had been completely flattened.
"SCREEEEE!!! NU GIBE TAIW-HUWTIES! "
Barry chortled.
“That is what you get for tipping over my dumpster and letting another fluffy take the blame! If you had not done that I would not be torturing you, it is for that specific reason you are in pain!”
Lion listened to everything Barry said carefully and then replied:
“Nu no wut du wong but pwomise nebeh du it again! Awso wiww make nummies-mess again and wefuse to take wesponsibiwity cause Wion nu am at fauwt fow anyting.”
Then Barry took a pizza cutter and started carving away at Lion’s legs.
“SCREEEE! NU TAKE WEGGIES! NEED DEM FOW WUN AND PWAY AND TIP OBEH DUMPSTEWS!”
Finally Barry left Lion legless, fluffless, tailless, and force-fed the fluffy his own penis.
“Am it gay if Wion am being fowced to num Wion’s own nunu-stick? AWSO SCREEEEEE!!!”
Barry lowered himself until he was staring into Lion’s eyes.
“‘Somehow Palpatine returned.’”
Lion foamed at the mouth and fainted.
Barry coated Lion in grease and put him on a baking sheet that he loaded into the oven.
He turned to the tentacle monster tax agent.
“That fluffy’s going to wake up getting baked to death! Also since he has no penis but kept his testicles he’ll die sexually frustrated. Also I put a beehive up his butt. Do I get tax breaks now?”
The tentacle monster nodded.
“Yes, that is how things work in Britain.”
Lion died over the course of many dies in complete agony.
His soul appeared in front of the gates of Skettliand, Heaven for Fluffies.
Fluffy Saint Peter shook his head.
“Yu wew BAD fwuffy, yu gu to Sowwywand!”
Lion plummeted into Fluffy Hell.
Josef Mongola sighed and adjusted his incredibly gaudy dancing outfit.
“Glad I don’t have to do the ‘Welcome to Skettiland’ song and dance for him then.”
Just then thousands of fluffies that had jumped into the Grand Canyon chasing after a single spaghetti noodle appeared at the gates of Skettiland. Most of them qualified for Fluffy Heaven.
Fluffy Saint Peter turned to Josef and smirked.
“Stawt dancing, dummeh.”
