Just a bit of meta-housekeeping I had to do when I reused a name. Fun stuff. I like this guy.
Dawn had broken on the mountainside. The sky glowed a brilliant pink terminating in a reddish orange horizon. Waking up in a fluffpile by the bushes, fluffy families marveled skyward at the “pwetty cowows” and “bigges cwouds” as the morning sun danced across them. The herd leader, a steely eyed young Smarty named Baxter, was trotting over to Dadd- to Nice Mister’s trailer door. Before he reached it, the big burly hoomin emerged himself.
“Oh hey! Y’all are up early. Good, I needed to talk to you.”
Baxter approached, curious. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was mostly going up to ask Nice Mister if Herd could really stay. He didn’t want to get Herd hurt by being careless. But he’d never considered that Nice Mister would need to talk to him.
“Uhh, otay Nice Mistah.” He plomped down on his haunches and cocked his head curiously. “Wat nee’ fwom Baxtew?”
He winced. “Oh, see, that’s the thing. It’s the name. We’ve gotta get you a different name. What are your feelings on Diogenes?”
Baxter furrowed his brow. “Wat? Wai wan change Baxtew namesie?” This was a shock! Baxter knew that sometimes fluffies would have to change names, like if their name turned out to be a meanie word, or if a new mummah or daddeh didn’t like it. But Nice Mister wasn’t a new daddeh! He was just Nice Mister!
“Look bud I’m sorry too, but Nice Mistuh just got off the phone with the writer, and he’s telling me that when he was naming his Hugbox Smarty he forgot you were already named Baxter, and now it’s just gonna be confusing if there’s two Baxters from the same writer who have non-traditional relationships with nearby humans and aren’t just the same fluffy.”
“B-but Baxtew am fiwst! Baxtew am in owiginal stowy bwinging hewd tu Nice Mistah’s wawn!”
“I know dude, but you’re not mentioned by name. You’re just the smarty or something.”
“Stiww, Baxtew am in ‘Watchet Da Nummy Finda’ too! An dat awso fwom befow udda Baxtew! Make dummeh nu-Baxtew Baxtew change namesie, nu guud hewpfuw Baxtew hu wub hewd!”
“Yes, but his name has already been used in the title of a story and the writer can’t edit those. Also he told me he really likes how ‘punchy’ the name Baxter sounds.”
“Dat nu make sense, Baxtew nu hab gwabbies, hab hoofsies. Nu can punch.”
“Look I’m not saying I get it, it’s just what he tells me.”
“Weww…weww dis nu faiw! How Baxtew get dummeh wwwa… wwait… huuu hawd say wowdsie…”
“Dude if you’d formed a Union like I suggested two days ago you might have had something. Baxter is part of a solo series while this is more of an ensemble piece so he gets more leeway with this shit than you anyway.”
“Dat am dummeh! Baxtew wub namesie! Get namesie fwom daddeh wen daddeh was owd smawty! And wai dummeh Stwumpo du dis awkwawd meta fingy? Wai highwight swoppy pwanning an’ a cweaw faiwuwe tu wemembew basic chawactew detaiws?”
“Look man, he can edit stories. Just be glad he’s doing this instead of just going in and changing your name. At least he’s asking you. Plus now you’ve had more time for readers to learn to appreciate you!”
“Das twue. Mebbeh nyu namesie nu be su bad…”
“You never told me what you thought about Diogenes.”
“Baxtew fink Stwumpo nee’ tu knu awwdeeince an’ nu twy be tu cwevew fow own guud.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. Diogenese famously lived in his own filth! It fits!”
“Oh hooway. Mistew gon take way Baxtew pwetty namesie dat Baxtew get fwom fowebba sweepies fwuffy daddeh hu Baxtew miss an wename Baxtew wif dummeh joke bout poopy wif name of finky man fwom many fowebba’s ago. Baxtew su ‘cited. Baxtew nu wan stand hewe an’ get patwonized tu.”
“Hey, Diogenes happens to be a very wise philosopher. I think it’s a good name!”
“Dat pwetenshus an 'ou knu it. Weadews nu gonna knu hu dat am. Nu gonna waff.”
“Do you think they’ll laugh at this?”
“Can Baxtew nyu name be Wabiowi?”
“Sure.”
“Yeah, dey pwobabwy waf wittwe bit at dis pawt.”