“I’m gonna miss you all so much!”
“Huuuu huuuu nu wan mummuh gu way!”
“Wai mummuh wun gu cowege? Nu wuv suga nu mowe?”
“Wuv mummuh!”
“Nu weave babbeh huuu”
“Pweez wet come wiff yuuuu”
The family of fluffies sat in the living room, hugging each other and staining their fluff with fat tears as their beloved mummuh bid them farewell for college in europe.
Samantha loved her bio-toys dearly. She had gotten them as a graduation gift the previous year, fully expecting to attend her local state university for the next four years. Her hard work and excellent references from her professors however had earned her a spot in a prestigious program in Prague that she couldn’t say no to.
Cinnamon, the reddish brown earthy mare with a tan mane, and her special friend Sugar, a gorgeous white unicorn stallion with a sky blue mane, were such loving and well behaved pets, that they had been allowed by Samantha’s parents to have babies! A series of enfs and a month later, and three beautiful, peeping offspring had been born.
Marshmallow, a white earthy colt with a tan mane
Coco, a chocolate brown unicorn colt with white mane
And little Cream, a(predictably) cream colored pegasus filly with a pale yellow mane.
They were now all walkie talkie babies, almost ready to be weaned. They loved nothing more than running around their safe room and playing huggie tag, often with their mummuh and daddeh, and taking naps in a big warm fluffpile together. They were generally quiet and gentle creatures who caused no real problems or disturbance to the household, to the relief of Samantha’s family.
She hated to leave the, but there were strict laws against taking fluffies across borders, and they would be confiscated and incinerated if she took them anywhere near an international airport.
“You all be good for grandma and grandpa ok? I promise I will always love you, and when I am done with school, I’ll come back for you and we can all live together again, forever and ever!”
More fluffy hugs and tears, followed by more from Samantha’s parents, and a grudging goodbye from her angsty twin brother steven, and it was out the door, and into her boyfriends Toyota Hilux, off to her new life.
“You sure you are ok taking over fluffy care son? I didn’t really think they were your thing.”
Sherman, The patriarch of the family questioned his son.
“It’s fine dad, they are all I have to remember her by for awhile, and it will be nice to make sure they get what they deserve while she’s not here. Besides, no matter how nice you guys were about it for Samantha’s sake, I know neither of you can stand them.”
“Ha, yeah, little bastards give me the creeps.”
“I just can’t stand those squeaky little voices.” Sarah, female head of the house chimed in.
Nobody liked saying no to samantha, because she asked so little and earned everything she got, but the fluffies had been a challenge to everyone’s tolerance.
“Well, neither of you has to worry about them, I have it all under control.” He grinned, knowing that so long as he didn’t go crazy, a he could have all the fun he wanted with these little shitpigs before they tragically “escaped”
“Ok fluffies, while momma is gone, uncle steven(barf) is going to be taking care of you, and that means I have to make sure you stay nice and safe. So I need all of you to get into your “funsie place boxie” (a large pet carrier that was used to transport them to the vet, park, and fluffycare.) and wait while I do some work on your saferoom ok? I put some skettie treats in their for cinnamon to make good milkies for the babies.”
“Huuuu otay unkie steven, fank yu fowe maek safewoom mowe saffe fowe babbehs and mumuh an daddeh.” Sugar, the head of the family thanked his new master and lead the troop into their spacious carrier, enjoying a skettie treat, but saving the rest of the small pile for his special friend. His babbehs deserved good milkies after all.
Once they were all inside, Steve locked the door and set the carrier onn the couch, flipping on fluff t.v. to keep them distracted. After all, the renovations were going to take a few hours, and they might as well get the most out of it since the subscription cancelation went into effect tomorrow.
An afternoon of lifting, packing, and unpacking later, and it was time to introduce the fluffies to their new and improved saferoom.
“Ok little guys, let’s go see your new home!”
“Yaaay cinnmun wuv new homsie!”
“Suga wub safewoom, nu can wait tu see how much safe new woom is.”
“Nee maek gud poopies daddeh!”
“Babbeh haf tummeh owies, nee mowe miwkies.”
“Coco bowed, wan pway wif singie-dancie stuffy fwend!”
Steven ignored their chattering and carried the box up the stairs to the saferoom between Steve and Sam’s bedrooms. He kept the lights off to build up suspense, earning him cries of “Nu wike dawkies!” “Scawey!” “Dawkie am bad fowe babbehs!”
The crate door was opened, and the five fluffs oof’ed huuu’ed and “Owied”’ed as they were tilted and dumped into a new, unseen enclosure.
“Whewe am Cinnmun? Pwace feew smaw.”
“Suga nu wike owie fwowe!”
“Huuu mummuh! Cweam am stukies! Hewp bebbeh!”
“Are you ready to see your new room fluffies?”
“Huuuu pwease daddeh, famiwy haf scawdies an owies, pwease tuwn wites on! Nu wan mowe dawkies.” Sugar spoke up on everyones behalf.
“Ok then, here you go, I hope you like it, I know I do.”
The lights flicked on, and the fluffies were shocked at what they saw.
Gone were the colorful cotton “tapestries” (childrens bedsheets) that had decorated the walls, gone were the soft, colorful foam tiles that lined the floor. Gone were the piles of stuffy friends, shiny balls and beautiful blockies. No more cloth storybook library, no more light up, talkie toys, no coloring books, no sing song clown box!!!
Instead, they plain hardwood floors, wall to wall black foam sound proofing squares, a large drum kit flanked by several guitars and two large amplifiers.
The comfortable nesting box with orthopedic stain proof fluffy bed and built in nightlight was replaced with a cheap plywood and chicken wire rabbit hutch with a built in litter tray underneath, the gaps in the wire only just too big for the foals to walk across easily, and the wire itself too thin for the parents to put their full weight on with their hooves without considerable discomfort.
“W-whewe am pwety cowows?”
“Whewe an nestie?”
“Whewe am toysies?”
“Stuffy fwiend gone!”
“Huuuu nu can wun on meanie fwowe!”
“All that stuff was soo distracting and dangerous. I threw it all in the trashies so it can’t hurt you!’
In actuality he had made a decent bit of change auctioning it off online in the days leading up to his saster leaving, it was all in boxes in the garage awaiting their new owners.
“Now all you have to do is sit quietly in your new safety cage. It has a litterbox right in the floor so you can make good poopies and peepee’s anywhere you want, but I am only cleaning it once a week…errr…every four and three bright times, so you probably don’t want to make too many poopies or else it will get awfully no smell pretty before the end of the week. This is going to be uncle stevens new music room. I know how much you all love your lullabies and nursery ryhmes, but I am sure you will learn to love demonic blood metal. Now, I have a date, so I have to go bye bye. It will give you all time to adjust to your new home, I’ll be back to feed you in the morning…maybe. In the meantime, listen to my demo tape and tell me what you think, it’s kind of a thinker, so I placed it on a loop so you can listen through a time or twelve. Oh, and I accidentally broke your circus tent night light, but I know you aren’t scared of the dark, so it will be fine, goodbye!”
He pulled out a remote and pressed a button that activated an mp3 plugged into one of the amps, and the opening, screeching riff of the first track kicked on right before the thick soundproof door closed, sealing the fluffballs into pitch blackness as the lyrics kicked in.
“FISTINGFIGHTINGFUCKING WITH MY RAZORBLADE RAPE SWORD!!!”
“SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
“Hey champ, getting the fluffs settled in?”
“Yes sir, I best way to get used to the knew order is to dive right in.”
“Glad to hear it, hey, now that your sisters gone and I don’t have your mother breathing down my kneck to only do stuff with the two of you together, why don’t we catch a hockey game sometime? Samantha hated it, but I know how you love to see blood on the ice.”
“That sounds great dad.” Life was getting better already.
The same could not be said for everyone.