I have been lurking for a little while, and I wanted to introduce myself.
As with most trends, I have arrived far too late to this party. How did I not realize until now that this was a thing ? If I hadn’t seen a Youtube video denouncing it as sick and twisted, and if I had not subsequently felt the stirrings of something in my murder-boner place, I would never have found you all…but I’m so glad I did. There is so much talent and creativity here, and I check in daily ! I love the abuse most of all, but all the genres are satisfying !
I have never contributed to anything like this, but you have inspired me. Please be patient with me if I make any mistakes, fly in the face of accepted cannon , or commit any other sins. I’d like to try my hand at both writing and artwork, and see how it goes. I always look forward to your new submissions, and thought maybe I could add to the interesting stuff here.
Here is the beginning of a first attempt. I don’t know exactly where it’s going yet. Let’s call it…
A Real Pony Chapter 1
“Good morning, Daddy !”, Zoe beamed, bouncing down the hall, hair in disarray, but childish fashion on point. She wore pastel lavender leggings, an adorable short pale yellow skirt, and a matching t-shirt, all in complementary pastels, bearing a logo with one of Hasbio’s My Pretty Ponies. Dave could not remember which. They all looked the same to him, with their snub noses and cutesy colored barbie manes. There were several of them littering the stairway, furniture and floor. She probably had a hundred of them. And although they posed a trip hazard, which Dave had succumbed to more than once, he never once raised his voice at her, and when the latest one came out, he was the first in line to buy it at the company store with his generous employee discount. But he knew that even if he had had to pay triple the market value, he would skimp on beer or razor blades or something to buy her that pony.
“Good morning, Princess.What do you want for breakfast ?”
“Guess !” She said impishly.
“Ummmm…do you want…broccoli ?”
“ Yuck.” She screwed up her face, completely ignorant of its fey flawlessness.
“Sardines ?”
“Eww. Dad !” She giggled.
“Green eggs and ham.”
“Eggs shouldn’t be green. I’ll give you one more guess, and if you get it wrong again, you have to buy me a pony for my birthday. A real one !"
“A real pony ? Where would we keep him, the balcony ?”
“Her.”
“ Fine. Ok. I accept your wager. Do you want……” he paused dramatically, making a show of reaching for a can of beans on the shelf, but then pivoting at the last minute and bringing down the Pony Puffs cereal.
“Darn it, Daddy. You win again.” She conceded, as he poured out a cascade of technicolor balls into a bowl for her, topping them with cold whole milk. The nutrition panel claimed they were full of vitamins, but Dave had his doubts. Still, he could not deny her this simple ten dollar a box pleasure. She placed her most recent acquisition, Lavender Sunshine, who impeccably matched her outfit, next to the bowl to share her repast, occasionally dipping the plastic toy’s nose into the milk. Dave lived for these moments.
When she had slurped the last of the milk, which had turned sort of a grey color from the mixture of dyes, he attended to her hair, as he did every morning. It was a thick, bright golden blonde, with a hint of a wave, just like her mother’s, and as he arranged it with sparkly plastic baubles, he began to feel a little choked up.
As he shepherded her to the bus, he told himself she was going to be all right…better than all right. She had natural good looks, an outgoing personality and a sunny disposition, and what more could a kid ask for ? In reality, these qualities would trump book smarts when it came to success in school and in life. His worries faded as he saw her little girl gang, all sitting together, of course, waving excitedly to her from the window of the bus.
Dave speed walked through the vast Hasbio parking lot, nodding to coworkers he recognized. He hastily ran a hand through dark, unruly hair he hadn’t had time to comb. That would have to do. For ten years, he had never been late or called in sick once. He wasn’t about to start now.
Momentarily slowed by huge revolving doors meant to accommodate the rush of hundreds of employees, he resumed his hurried pace through Hasbio’s gargantuan atrium, a space whose sole purpose was to impress. Stories of modern glass took flight, allowing the daylight to flood in, illuminating a dizzying number of floors as well as multiple displays of past products. The entire My Pretty Pony line from 1980 to the present day was encased in one illuminated wall. He had taken Zoe to see it on several occasions, packing a lunch, so they could picnic together amongst the toys. Usually, afterward, he would bring her to the gift shop, and let her pick out one thing (always, and without exception, it had been a My Pretty Pony related product)There were also other iconic toy lines on display, such as the Raspberry Cheesecake doll (and her many fragrant, pastry-themed friends), Fuzzbies, annoying talking animatronic monstrosities which, frankly, were a bit too uncanny valley for Dave, and G.I. Jake, the poseable toy soldier Dave himself had nostalgic boyhood memories of.
He sped to the locker room, deposited his coat, and slipped into one of the clean, pressed white factory uniforms. After exiting the locker room, he held his ID card up to a glowing screen to be scanned.
“Clocking in at Oh-eight-hundred hours.” intoned the screen.
Dave was about to walk away, when it continued…
“Sub level Clearance granted. Report to the decontamination showers on sub level one.”
Dave raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth in surprise.
“Ooooh…” chided Theresa, the friendly coworker behind him. “Looks like somebody’s moving up in the world !”
“Well, down, actually.” Dave retorted, grinning.
“Don’t be a smartass.” Theresa slapped his shoulder playfully. “ Go git it !”
Dave proceeded down the hall to the restricted elevator. This was probably a mistake. Dave was just a grunt. He had no real education. In his ten years at the company, he had simply assembled toys. It was boring and repetitive, but it paid decently enough to take care of Zoe, and provided the benefits they needed. No one had ever given him recognition, or even hinted at a promotion. He was actually shocked when, upon placing his card up to the scanner, the restricted elevator granted him access.
It was a shiny, chrome affair, with a ride so smooth, you couldn’t tell you were moving at all. All he knew was that it was taking an uncomfortably long time. Either this was the world’s slowest elevator, or sub level one was a long, long way down. Just as panic began to set in (he didn’t care for small, enclosed spaces), he felt the elevator settle, and, to his relief, the doors slid open.
He found himself in a sterile, white corridor.
“Welcome, Dave Brewbaker. Please proceed to the decontamination showers.” Said a disembodied computer voice.
Dave looked around. There didn’t seem to be anyone else here at the moment, a stark contrast to the bustling factory floor. He shrugged and followed a green arrow painted on the floor to a shower room, deducing that he was supposed to get completely undressed and deposit everything except his ID card into a receptacle near the door. Then he, naked but for his lanyard, stood under a spray of steaming hot…chemicals of some sort, presumably to remove microbes…but why ?
“Please proceed to the next room and put on the protective suit provided.”
Curiouser and curiouser. He donned the white suit, which was light and not too cumbersome, as well as a mask and gloves.
“Please proceed down the hall to room 107.”
The door slid open for him, and, as he stepped through, hissed as it misted him with pink vapor. He almost jumped out of his skin. Heart pounding, laughing nervously, he walked on, the booties of his suit reminding him of childhood pajamas, until he reached a door bearing the words, “Dr. Regina Payne, Genetic Engineering”. Hesitantly, he knocked.